Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

I know you say it's just 10 mins but if someone has a busy day, gets home late, cooks dinner and then had to do everything else ... its too much.

2 pages of maths in y1 also sounds a bit much for a lot of kids/families. I did it when my kids were little but I wasnt a single parent working as many hours then.

You know as well as me I was talking about university.

But that isn't further education.

I have a lot of respect for teachers but in year 1, other than reading dc were absolutely not doing homework. Year 4, I made them log onto the websites requested by the school as they had settled into school by then. I honestly think year 1 is a little young to be given homework.

Year 3s. Hardly any of them read at home. We ask for one signature per read (5 a week).

I stopped writing in reading records when the school:

• stopped hearing any children (other than a small group of the most struggling) read individually in school at all, even reception
• stopped writing anything at all in records
• put whole class on same level and didn't change it for two terms
• never responded at all to anything i wrote.

My DC read every day I am not wasting my time signing a reading journal no one looks at so that the school can claim they engage with parents when its totally one sided.

This is the sign of a teacher who cares. There are very few of them left and we need to hang on to them. No wonder they are leaving in droves, it must feel like carrying leaky buckets up a hill - pointless.

I have been astounded at the amount of people who can't spare just 5 minutes to hear their children read and before you all pile in I had a commute of an hour and twenty minutes and I manged to do it. It's 5 minutes

People wonder why kids are disengaged, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Still be prepared to pay for your education in England. It's not easy for a lot of young people and families. Quite easy to work out the pupils have the best chance in a primary or secondary class to be succesfull.

Yes we don't do spellings when asked to, unless the kids suggest it. Our school has a system of sending the reading books home every week, we leave them in the kids' bags unless they want to read them. We're led by our children, there is nothing to be gained by pressuring a 4 and 7 year old to do more formal learning at home.

It was literally you who earlier said 'Many parents do not have an education themselves and lack an overview of the school system.'. Yet you talked confidently about something you had a basic misconception of.

It's children who are already disadvantaged who need to do preview / recall / consolidation that homework is designed for, in* order to keep up with others and ensure there isn't a gap in performance and opportunity. Teachers aren't doing this to other adults who are tired after only 30 (a number I keep seeing) hours of work a week and the choice to be a parent. It's for those children.

Im still reeling about the pencils tbh op. Is this a state school in uk? Our school doesn't have much money (v low pupil premium etc) and we have honestly never ever been short on pencils/pens.

It's children who are already disadvantaged who need to do preview / recall / consolidation that homework is designed for, on order to keep up with others and ensure there isn't a gap in performance and opportunity.

The gap exists because the parents of those children do not do this for myriad reasons. It was ever thus

With regard! You are a teacher!

A lot of parents work and by the time they get home the last thing they want to do is to do homework with their children, also if it’s like 6/7pm, then children will be tired and won’t want to do homework!

How about school work is kept in school and home is for home life.

All this obligatory parental involvement only exacerbates inequality between parents who can help and parents who can't or won't.

When both parents work these days so much more is expected than was of my parents when I was at school and it's ridiculous. I tried to instil a love of books and learning in my DDs but all the obligatory tick box reading records and excessive homework killed it.

Actually my DD was at private school and yes we had to provid their pens, pencils, ruler, rubber, Pritt Stick etc. I must admit I was a bit shocked, but then I remember I bought pens, pencils, ruler, rubber when I was at secondary school back in the 60's (grammar if it makes a difference). School provided the glue - it was in big white bottles, I do remember that

If this is the general, selfish attitude of parents today, then there's no hope of ever raising standards or bringing about improvement.

I'd you accept you feed, clothe and house your kids so as not to be neglectful, you should take some interest in their learning as part of actually bringing them up.

And yet a lot of parents do much more than 30 hours a week. And 30 hours can leave you exhausted to death if you have a diagnosis. A lot of people struggle and you wouldn't know.

Ex teacher (ish)

I don’t agree with homework at such a young age, spelling tests in Year 1 is just too much.
We’ve always read daily.

My DC is in year 1 and they get homework on a Thursday to do over the weekend then bring books back in on a Monday, and generally this allows us enough time to do it.

If homework was set during the week, I imagine it would not get done because DC is in wrap around 4 days a week so often only has an hour or just over at home on an evening before bed. Needs supper, bath and bed in that time, and it's only a small amount of quality time I get with her. She's often so tired it's a struggle to even do bedtime let alone homework! Even if she wasn't tired I'd probably not do it because I'd feel like down time would be more important at this point, but I'd not dream of leaving it without explaining this to the teacher to say why. (This is hypothetical as homework is never due in before the weekend).

A lot of people might. Many of them will be teachers, whose efforts to support other people's kids are thwarted by disdainful attitudes to education.

But you have two days off in the week. So you can afford to spend the evenings on homework because you don't also have to cram absolutely everything else into them. Time is precious and people have different priorities.

Great idea just to back off with the ND child because it’s harder. And good for you helping them log in. Top parenting. 🙌🏼

Or teachers could just accept their jobs aren't much worse than a lot of the parents.

What’s the point in trying to get a child who’s tired to try to do school work?
it’s definitely not going to be of any benefit to them, surely it’s better to do it another time, like straight after school when the parents are not working and able to do it earlier?

I think reading each night is important and easy to fit into the bedtime routine. More written work is harder. I think family dynamics have changed loads in recent years, even since my youngest was little. Now there are more single parent families, no support for a parent to be home in early and primary years, both parents work full time. When children are being picked up at 5/6pm it is just a bit of quality time and bed routine. Children are tired from being out later and probably too tired to engage with an equally tired parent.

When mine were little I was home from end of school and able to do a snack and homework, then dinner, then bed for 7.30/8. Also teachers seem to expect things to be printed out at home now which is a problem if a parent doesn’t have a printer or ink. That has been the one to bug me most as we always seemed to need more expensive ink just when they needed to print several worksheets.