DD making her own way home from a bar job in the city centre.

[Theteenagerera]

DD has just turned 18 and is currently doing her A levels, she has an unconditional for a uni away from home and so will be moving to said city in the summer.

She has had a few part time jobs in her teens but due to a family house move last year had to leave the last one and has struggled to find anything since.

We live on the outskirts of not a particularly nice city and it’s a good 45-50 minutes home by bus. She has just had an interview for a city centre pub and was asked if she could work to 2am which DD has said is not a problem!!

We have just had words on her way home as while I’m glad the interview went well I just don’t think I’d be comfortable with her getting a night bus back on her own while the pubs and clubs are piling out. Her argument is she hasn’t been able to find anything else so it’s this or nothing and I know she really wants the money.

For full transparency we have never put any pressure on her to find a job however I don’t think she has put as much effort into the hunting as she says she has…

some of that is not her fault as obv mid A levels however she also has the classic teen mentality things she wants will just fall into her lap and when nervous and can come across quite fumbly with words so nothing has come of introducing herself and handing CV’s into places or phone call to potential employers despite her having barista, front of house, till/closing up experience.

AIBU to think that she probably can find something with more suitable hours if she tried and that it’s quite dangerous for a young girl (albeit an adult, just,) to be walking about, standing at a bus stop and making her way home at 2am?!

The reason I brought moving away from uni and that I posted on here before I discuss with DH is he much more laid back than me already thinks that I am over protective and I know his response is going to be “she is 18 and is going to have to navigate all this stuff on her own in a few months” which I agree to an extent but I feel while she is at home we should still be guiding her to make safe and sensible decisions.

AIBU and would you be happy for your own DC to do this?

I read your update OP, fair enough you've made your decision, but i feel you are wrong. By saying she can't get a nightbus home when sober after honest work you are also saying she cannot get the bus home after being out clubbing or socialising. So you are effectively saying a young adult is not allowed by her parents to go to the city unless her Dad comes to collect her. Poor DD.

Since it would be the DD who was making the journey and the money, your judgment on whether it’s worthwhile isn’t really relevant, only hers is.

Ask her if she could 'buddy up?' leave at the same time as co-worker that will be on the same bus? This is the safest way as she will not be alone

When I was 18, I worked until 3am, both Friday & Saturday night, in our local nightclub. If you worked until after midnight, you got taken home in the staff people carrier/taxi (the night porter - it was a hotel - drove people in 2 or 3 carloads.)
It was good experience of being an adult, and having to manage myself.
If it helps, I also lived very near a (then heavily populated) Forces base. It got a bit fighty every second Wednesday, when they got paid, but I only worked that late in the week, when it was the holidays....
I'd get her to ask about what scheme they use to ensure safety of workers getting home. Assume there is one, rather than be apologetic about it.

Ha ha. Of course it's her decision. Just my thoughts not a judgement oh weird one.

Your thoughts on what? How awful the DD must be for wanting to earn money that you won’t deign to?

Fuck all to do with the actual dilemma, but let’s point out that her DD has different values about the value of her time to your own?

Blimey you have strong opinions here too. I think an 18 year old still studying is a little different to, for instance, a parent needing to work to pay bills. I just think the particular job with the very late bus and long bus travel home isn't worth the risks. Definitely admire the girl's work ethic and it's totally up to her.