DD making her own way home from a bar job in the city centre.

[Theteenagerera]

DD has just turned 18 and is currently doing her A levels, she has an unconditional for a uni away from home and so will be moving to said city in the summer.

She has had a few part time jobs in her teens but due to a family house move last year had to leave the last one and has struggled to find anything since.

We live on the outskirts of not a particularly nice city and it’s a good 45-50 minutes home by bus. She has just had an interview for a city centre pub and was asked if she could work to 2am which DD has said is not a problem!!

We have just had words on her way home as while I’m glad the interview went well I just don’t think I’d be comfortable with her getting a night bus back on her own while the pubs and clubs are piling out. Her argument is she hasn’t been able to find anything else so it’s this or nothing and I know she really wants the money.

For full transparency we have never put any pressure on her to find a job however I don’t think she has put as much effort into the hunting as she says she has…

some of that is not her fault as obv mid A levels however she also has the classic teen mentality things she wants will just fall into her lap and when nervous and can come across quite fumbly with words so nothing has come of introducing herself and handing CV’s into places or phone call to potential employers despite her having barista, front of house, till/closing up experience.

AIBU to think that she probably can find something with more suitable hours if she tried and that it’s quite dangerous for a young girl (albeit an adult, just,) to be walking about, standing at a bus stop and making her way home at 2am?!

The reason I brought moving away from uni and that I posted on here before I discuss with DH is he much more laid back than me already thinks that I am over protective and I know his response is going to be “she is 18 and is going to have to navigate all this stuff on her own in a few months” which I agree to an extent but I feel while she is at home we should still be guiding her to make safe and sensible decisions.

AIBU and would you be happy for your own DC to do this?

Blimey, if teens really worried about their sleep cycle they wouldn't go out at all! My dd is at uni 150 miles away. She frequently stays out till 3am on weekends. She sleeps in as much as she can on Sat & Sun but sets aside time for studying. She gets tired, yes, but there's no way she's sacrificing her social life. Her sleep is back to normal on a Sunday night ready for Monday lectures

One of my best friend's daughters is 18.

So far this year 4am stagger home seems to be at least weekly and there's been two A&E visits (none alcohol related - both with her accompanying friends) plus a nasty sporting accident. She's having a ball.

She's 3 hrs drive away.

This girl is street wise and sensible. Mum couldn't do shit anyway.

The sporting accident if ever so slightly in a different place is the thing that could have been fatal.

You can't live life out of fear of what might happen. You have to make the most of the life you do have.

OP has now said her and her DH have said no they don't want her taking the job, how does that work?
Do you go with the age old MN 'it's my house my rules; you shall not take this job'
Very odd that parents think they can dictate to their adult kids.

God I'D not want to do it myself let alone have my teenage daughter doing it! I'd feel very vulnerable. You've said it's a not very nice city too.

I thought there was a duty of care involved. Google says:
In the UK, while there is no explicit legal requirement for employers to provide transport home for late-night bar staff, their "duty of care" means they should take reasonable steps to ensure their employees can get home safely, particularly when public transport is limited, which could include providing taxis in certain situations where the commute is considered unsafe due to the late hour.

It's not like it's the only option around surely? Restaurants would be done by 11 at the weekend or she could just work in a shop in the daytime. I worked in a club (and we did get taxis provided to take us home) as a student and it was just seedy and grim, even the nicest bars or clubs can be. Wouldn't want that for my DDs. DD1 works in a restaurant and DD2 will likely do the same in a few months' time.

DD1 is 19 and recently got needle spiked in a club when out with friends. Luckily they took her home when she was feeling unwell and looked after her, and she was fine. She only saw the puncture wound and put two and two together in the morning.

It's also odd that the OP will be expected to financially support her adult DD through university, and the amount of maintenance loan the DD will receive will be based on her parent's income. But here we are, and because families tend to respect each other and want to live in harmony and support each other, in most cases when someone who is still at school is advised by their parents a job isn't appropriate they don't take it and look for another one, and parents don't financially abandon their adult student DC if they can afford not to.

Oh come on. Be realistic!

And if that was the case they would only give the jobs to staff who lived nearby so that taxis are cheaper!

I am being realistic. In Glasgow a club gets taxis home for their staff. Or at least they used to. That's how I know about the phrase duty of care.

One of the women I went out with told me that they looked after their staff, as her daughter worked there, and I asked the question about how she got home and she said the pub got groups of staff going the same direction home into a pre-booked taxi and dropped the girls off one by one.

I don't know how long they had to wait for a taxi only that it did happen. It wasn't Wetherspoons though.

Perhaps OP you should email Wetherspoons and ask what their plans are to ensure staff leaving in the early hours get home safely. Then you'll have your answer. Use an email address that doesn't have the same surname your daughter has though!!

This is a thing. Employer do late night taxis.

Similar situation here op though my DD is in the year above and is a fresher at uni. After the first week of her walking a mile at 3am to wait for a bus I've managed to convince her to get an Uber and I go halves with her. I told her it wasn't a matter of if but when something bad happened to her, which I strongly believe to be true sadly

@RedToothBrush

I get that some employers get their staff a cab home, which is great, but the previous poster who said about it inferred they have a duty of care to do so!

That won't happen in this case as they live too far from work!

There is a legal responsibility. I remember the court case.

Do some googling.

This is just one of many links with legal advice:

https://www.streetsweb.co.uk/about/news/2024/jul/2/late-night-taxi-for-an-employee/

There is no specific requirement for employers to provide employees with transport home. Nevertheless, an employer has a duty of care to their employees, which means that they should take all steps which are reasonably possible to ensure their health, safety and wellbeing.

Ensuring that an employee gets safely home during unsocial working hours could fall within the employer's 'duty of care'. Often in these situations an employer will pay for a late night taxi for an employee to travel home from work. This can also happen where there is a breakdown in a car sharing arrangement.

If the OP is concerned this is what she should focus on.

If there is public transport available then they will not be obliged to pay for a taxi, and any such payment would almost certainly be a taxable benefit.

Not necessarily.

OP she’s 18 and it’s really up to her.

If you’ve moved to a place where she can’t get other work, you aren’t prepared to go pick her up at 2 am and you aren’t prepared to give her the money she’s missing out on I think it’s pretty reprehensible of you to try and stop her legally earning money.

Free taxis home when there is an available alternative would ordinarily be considered a benefit. Nothing about OP’s DD’s case that she’s mentioned would indicate it falls into an extraordinary category. There should probably be an alternative she can rely on if the bus doesn’t turn up or if the police issue guidance that women should be careful in the area after 10 pm or something. But going home late at night on the bus is an ordinary activity that lots of women undertake.

for a 40-50 minute journey at 2am on a weekend, probably more than she would earn for the whole shift

@RentalWoesNotFun

Perhaps OP you should email Wetherspoons and ask what their plans are to ensure staff leaving in the early hours get home safely.

Why do you think they would reply to a random person asking this?

Sadly true, didn't realise. sorry

I would look into how much an uber would cost and whether it's worth it for her to pay that from what she earns working until 2am.
You could also just get the night bus home with her one time to see what it's actually like, she might decide she wouldn't feel comfortable anyway or you might both think it's better than you feared

Tbh whether it's bus or car, I think a 40 to 50 minute journey home at 2am is a bit much for a part time minimum wage job.

Good point. Perhaps I've worked in the public sector first too long where we answer anything and everything.

If the op framed it as "I would like to enquire about your policy for ensuring staff leaving the premises in the early hours of the morning please as I am considering applying for a position with your company but I don't drive and wonder how I would get home" she may or may not get an answer.

She needs to learn to drive as a priority. I don’t know why we don’t teach it as a skill in school.