Would you leave a class WhatsApp due to a "mole"

[PsychoHacker]

I have one DC so I'm not very experienced with this sort of thing. I'm trying to work out if this is a non issue or if I have a right to be miffed.

There's a unofficial WhatsApp chat for DC's class. I've found it pretty useful as I don't have any other DC and this is my first rodeo with a child in school.

For a while now I've suspected that someone has been "feeding back" the chat to the school. The reason being that any time something is discussed, there seems to be a notice posted within a few hours, discussing exactly what was said in the chat.

I've not really given it too much thought as there is never anyone being malicious or saying anything bad about the school however there has been a few minor rants regarding the usual things like homework or school events etc.

There was a specific topic discussed recently that had nothing to do with the school, and there's no way the school would have any knowledge of it unless someone told them. Again nothing malicious however this really confirmed the "mole" theory for me.

Last week someone in the chat basically "outed" themselves as a friend of the teachers. Fine, doesn't make much of a difference to anyone however the more I think of it, the more uncomfortable it makes me.

Why would anyone feel the need to go running to the school with every little detail posted in this chat? Most of the topics are nonsense. Are they trying to score brownie points? Isolate themselves from the other parents? I just don't understand the thought process behind it.

I think I'll need to leave the chat as it's making me rather uncomfortable that someone is sharing my messages and input without my permission. Such a shame as the chat has been very helpful with keeping me informed with events and anything else school related. Wwyd?

Does it help

1. The pupils
2. The teachers
3. The parents

?

I’m a parent and a school governor and I’ve had to post uncomfortable messages in the class what’s app group asking people not to post comments about individuals.
everyone in the school community signs an agreement which includes that they won’t publish or post defamatory comments about individuals teachers etc. it’s very important that concerns and complaints are dealt with through the proper channels.
I am not a mole as I’m in the parents what’s app groups as a parent only, to arrange teachers presents and ask whether it’s PE today etc. I haven’t had to feed anything back to the school but have had to intervene directly as above. If I had a safeguarding concern from something posted I would have to pass that onto the DSL.

I haven’t read whole thread so apologies if I’ve missed something. I think it could be useful and a way of sorting issues potentially. There is always a danger with a large chat that information will be past on and always good to input in a way where you wouldn’t mind who read it!
I would stay on it and use it wisely x

I wouldn't be saying anything on a whole class whatsapp that I minded being shared. If it was an issue everyone was discussing I would be pleased someone had taken it to the school as more chance of a solution.

How can anyone be arsed with this kind of crap? I don’t understand why you need class WhatsApp groups. It just breeds moaning and negativity.

I have an annoying class WhatsApp story to share. We'd had ours running for about a year, it was very helpful and non judgey. There was a least one person in the group who was a TA in another class at the school and she would sometimes stick up for school a bit or give extra info about decisions- no problem, really helpful.

Then the local church got a new vicar and his DD joined our class and the vicar joined the class WhatsApp. Fine. Until he started to mansplain things, getting them wrong half the time. So far so annoying. Then there was an awful thing where some of the parents were putting stuff on the whatsapp group that was clearly somewhat racist and several other parents including me and DH said something and challenged the racism. It was very delicate and some parents were upset. The vicar did SOD ALL. So much for being a community leader or even being a member of the community. Just watched it play out and didn't support anyone challenging the racism. We then got a letter from the headteacher about it so clearly someone reported it to school.

Thankfully we didn’t have a whatsapp group when my two were little. But we did have mums who texted each other and parents who were friends or neighbours with teachers as our kids went to catchment school so this was inevitable.

I think you are overreacting and just be careful what you post on there only post relevant things i.e. do the kids need a packed lunch on Thursday or does anyone know what time the school fair starts etc. Definitely don’t get into complaining about the teachers, the school, or other kids etc.

PS we did get letters from the school after a certain mum posted things on FB or was very vocal and opinionated about the school or at pick up time etc.

One our class WhatsApp groups included a parent who didn’t have a child in that class. IMO she was on it for pure nosiness and to spy on the children’s activity schedules so she could scam lifts and childcare from other parents. I came off that one as I felt she was invading my privacy.

I never post on the class whatsapp groups and for my youngest child's class I actually had to mute it as was constantly going off. I stay on it though in case there's anything I've missed such as an own clothes day or an inset day. If you haven't said anything bad on there then you don't have any reason to worry. A while ago, my children's school put a message out on the school app saying that they were aware of messages on a WhatsApp group saying nasty personal remarks about a teacher. I think they were right to do this. But if people are going to crack on and say whatever they like then they have to face the consequences.

@PsychoHacker You could make a post saying jokily (is that even a word) I fear there is a mole in our little whatsapp group! I do not appreciate any copy of my comments being sent to school and could the mole please refrain from doing so!

If it was something worth wasting the time and energy of the school staff then I'm guessing it was some sort of personal attack against a member of staff? In which case the culprits need to stop acting like 12 year olds and if there's genuine feedback/complaints do it through the official channels. Keep the whatsapp group transactional as this is all that most parents have time for anyway and then there won't be anything to report. Maybe get a hobby instead of stirring up drama where there doesn't need to be any

OP, I wouldn't ever dream of posting on a class WhatsApp anything, bar actually informing or a question.
Certainly nothing that could be quoted.

Rule of thumb if you wouldn't happily say it to the principal, don't type it.

I would expect stuff to be quoted and repeated.

Use it for information only.
Mute it and dip in and out as necessary.

As for the twat parent, be wary.

I mean of course these things get back to the school. Lots of parents are teachers, TAs or governors or friends with them. It shouldn't be an us and them situation in a functional school community. If people are using the WhatsApp group to gripe then they need to behave like adults and take their concerns to the school.

I'm not saying this one is but I think any genuinely horrible, defamatory parents WhatsApp groups should be come down on like a ton of bricks by senior leadership and the perpetrators banned from the school premises. It's cyber bullying plain and simple and we wouldn't accept it from the children.

Why is it secret. I wouldn't expect it to be.

Mole? Ffs.
Surely it’s just a parent emailing in the school a query raised on the chat.

We have a similar thing. One of the mums works in the reception at school. She doesn't post much but for example someone asked a week or so ago "have we had any info about world book day things yet"
Within 2 hours an email had been sent with all the WBD info. This happens frequently so I'm guessing she spots the messages and school send the communication.
Everyone knows she works in the school though so it's isn't a secret. People still moan about the homework and all sorts of other things 🤣

But surely anything you post on WhatsApp can be shared with anyone.

Why would you think that it would be kept confidential?

A kid might access their mum's phone without her knowledge.

A group chat is never confidential.

Gosh, that person is a real saddo aren’t they??!! I’d be tempted to type out some really salacious untrue gossip and see what happened!

No, I wouldn't. In my child's class whatsapp at primary school in a class of 30 I think we had 6 staff members. 2 TAs, 3 teachers and an office worker. Yes, all parents in that class.

Just to clarify a few points...

No one has been bitching about teachers, we are very lucky to have a wonderful school and really great teachers. If anyone has had any problems with teachers specifically, it hasn't been mentioned in the chat.

The only 'negative' stuff I can think of is an excessive amount of festive activities and mundane things like homework and a few other things along those lines.

This is why I'm so confused. Why would anyone feel the need to pass on the most mundane shit? Are they trying to score points with the staff? Do they like a good gossip about all the parents with their teacher friends? There has been a few specific events (don't want to go into too much detail) that are not directly related to the school, that have then been announced in a notice as soon as it's discussed. It's really all bizarre.

I'll take the advice on here and stay in the chat for the useful information, but not contribute, as I'm not too comfortable with the whole set up.

Stay on it but just post factual things and no opinions

How strange? What on earth made you come to this conclusion?

It's an unofficial chat so there's no rules.

Exactly!

@MiserableMrsMopp seems to think the person telling the Teacher this is in the wrong

when it’s the bitchy parents gossiping and getting it wrong ie she IS qualified

If it's all so mundane, why does it matter?