Would you leave a class WhatsApp due to a "mole"

[PsychoHacker]

I have one DC so I'm not very experienced with this sort of thing. I'm trying to work out if this is a non issue or if I have a right to be miffed.

There's a unofficial WhatsApp chat for DC's class. I've found it pretty useful as I don't have any other DC and this is my first rodeo with a child in school.

For a while now I've suspected that someone has been "feeding back" the chat to the school. The reason being that any time something is discussed, there seems to be a notice posted within a few hours, discussing exactly what was said in the chat.

I've not really given it too much thought as there is never anyone being malicious or saying anything bad about the school however there has been a few minor rants regarding the usual things like homework or school events etc.

There was a specific topic discussed recently that had nothing to do with the school, and there's no way the school would have any knowledge of it unless someone told them. Again nothing malicious however this really confirmed the "mole" theory for me.

Last week someone in the chat basically "outed" themselves as a friend of the teachers. Fine, doesn't make much of a difference to anyone however the more I think of it, the more uncomfortable it makes me.

Why would anyone feel the need to go running to the school with every little detail posted in this chat? Most of the topics are nonsense. Are they trying to score brownie points? Isolate themselves from the other parents? I just don't understand the thought process behind it.

I think I'll need to leave the chat as it's making me rather uncomfortable that someone is sharing my messages and input without my permission. Such a shame as the chat has been very helpful with keeping me informed with events and anything else school related. Wwyd?

Having worked in a primary school office, I can confirm that there is always a mole...nothing said on those groups is a secret from.the school.

Our whatsapp group is fab. One of the mums is the SEND lead in the school. Shes lovely too. We keep it light, but we have a great laugh too.

Surely the group is just muted and archived for you to check at your leisure. I find it useful with aforementioned settings. Would have gone in first Monday of Jan buy thankfully someone wrote on there it was an inset day.

I don't really understand the issue here.

If you're unhappy about a school issue, then it's good that the school responds.

If you're just looking to mindlessly bitch about stuff, then you need another outlet rather than the class WhatsApp group.

Someone mentioning issues to the school is surely doing you all a favour?

Good.

I would be careful not to assume that the parent who is friends with a teacher has something to do with this. I'm a teacher myself and because I teach in the area I live in, I know lots of people well who are parents before their kids joined my school, some are good friends. It doesn't mean though that I ever tell them school business or involve them. In fact I'm actually a closed book with that stuff. Other than how is their child getting on, we keep the school talk to a minimum

People chat to their friends?
It’s not a ‘spy’ or ‘mole’ situation I’m pretty sure. The school is just a subject of common interest to them.

In a small town or rural area it’s fairly common to be friends with one of the teachers in the local school, or to be related to them. A relative taught at my kids primary school and one of my best friends at their secondary.

Edited to say that the teachers are always very careful not to mention children by name or anything of that sort. More than their job is worth I’d say. More chat about upcoming inspections, how busy/stressed they are, perhaps a grumble about a colleague, the usual sort of stuff friends discuss.

Most school WhatsApp groups have a mole. Teacher here, we get ALOT of feedback about what's being said, did at my previous 2 schools too including when several parents decided to make up a big sickness bug and thought they were incredibly clever to co-plan their holiday dates under the radar / guise of this fictional sickness bug

@MathsMagpie pretty irrelevant. Unless you can somehow prove the kids didn’t have a sickness bug. More likely a joke on the group which you thought would make a good mumsnet story

It's probably not the person you think - more likely the one aiming for prizes, kids in first team, no links with the school - but then grandparents disclose they taught there. Focus on what is important to you and your child.

When my son was in year 2 we had some very vocal people in the group and it got very bitchy against the school, was extremely slanderous. I didnt partake just used it for the actual useful messages . The school foud out, still don't know how and actually banned the whatsapp group. They sent cease and desist type letters out to all the parents. Its culminated in a parent doing an undercover filming of a meeting with the head. Was found out and escorted from the grounds. They ended up being barred from the school grounds. Then all phones were banned foe adults bringing them into school grounds. No adult could use a phone at all o achool grounds. It was a right shit show. We never had a class whatsapp after that and son is now at secondary. We survived without one tbh. They arent totally necessary.

There will be several people sending screenshots to the Head. I remember one late Saturday night thread being nasty about my Deputy Head thinking they were hilarious. He was utterly distraught by it.

I had a teacher who was a parent who would screenshot everything and send it and I had to request they didn’t unless there was an urgent safeguarding issue. complaints can follow the correct process not wanting a response from the Head on Sunday morning about Maths homework.

id always presume anything you type could be shared.

I have found the groups for my DC's classes incredibly useful for all the reasons they are intended to be: homework, kit, reminders etc. This year, a few new parents joined and soon changed the culture of one of the the groups, making it a bit shit -casual whining about really basic stuff, eyeroll emojis, thinly veiled criticism of staff and generally hoping to generate friction and ill feeling. A few parents called them on it, reminding them to keep things to the point and to refrain from making things personal and luckily, they read the room.

Stay in the group but distance yourself from the clowns whose tone makes the group resemble the school playground as opposed to a bulletin board. The 'mole' isn't your problem.

To me if there was anything that needed addressing proactively by the school then I'd be saying it to them as much as the other mums in the group. Well, not as much but I'd raise it. Or if I didn't I'd be pleased the school was dealing with it.
If it was a case of more personal comments about specific teachers and personal gossip and opinion then there would be no reason for the school to react or respond publicly?
I'd say just keep in there just in case something meaningful gets shared.

Ahh the mum WhatsApp group. How would parents get by without one 🤦🏻‍♀️
For an innocent group OP, you seem to have gone to a lot of trouble to explain how non malicious it is. If it’s innocent, the mole shouldn’t bother you.

I would stay on it but not say anything other than things like ‘Is it non uniform day this Friday’ blah blah
And for information purposes

Well the nature of gossip is that it often gets back to the institution or person gossiped about. There doesn't need to be a specific "mole"for that.
Also looking for a mole like it's some secret undercover spy operation is way to much thought anybody should be spending on a parents WhatsApp group.

@PsychoHacker just don’t type anything you wouldn’t say directly

And for all the people slagging the school off, if you think the school is crap and yet you’re still sending your kids to it, who’s the idiot?

I can't see the issue here? Surely nobody thinks these groups are confidential and if parents want to have a whinge fest they can do it elsewhere and leave the official chat for reminders etc. Ours is pretty much run by the class rep who will follow up things directly with the school for us when we are confused- ie the notice said bike Ed was this day, but my son said it's been moved, etc.

On these sort of groups I never post anything I wouldn’t be comfortable with every man and his dog reading. Definitely not the forum
for gossip/criticism.

Why would you need to leave? Surely you’re not using a class-wide group like it’s a personal, confidential conversation with a trusted friend or to spread gossip or toxicity about staff/students.

Stay in it so you can check for useful info and assume anything you say is public. Don’t engage in gossip, shit-stirring or mob outrage.

Surely that’s a good thing - concern is raised, someone informs school, school deals with it - if that doesn’t happen then it’s just a bitching session.

I would stay on it but just not post anything. I’m on class WhatsApp groups and it does get very political on there at times so I rarely post anything on there. It is useful for information relating to class trips or people putting reminders on there about key dates etc. It’s also good for arranging play dates.

Seems a bit odd to have a group where someone complains about wanting change and then when that is reported back that group aren't happy that the school know! Surely they want it dealing with?

These kinds of groups are created to bitch and moan about the school and the staff. They are usually a hotbed of bullying towards staff and usually full of lies to exaggerate things.