Would you leave a class WhatsApp due to a "mole"

[PsychoHacker]

I have one DC so I'm not very experienced with this sort of thing. I'm trying to work out if this is a non issue or if I have a right to be miffed.

There's a unofficial WhatsApp chat for DC's class. I've found it pretty useful as I don't have any other DC and this is my first rodeo with a child in school.

For a while now I've suspected that someone has been "feeding back" the chat to the school. The reason being that any time something is discussed, there seems to be a notice posted within a few hours, discussing exactly what was said in the chat.

I've not really given it too much thought as there is never anyone being malicious or saying anything bad about the school however there has been a few minor rants regarding the usual things like homework or school events etc.

There was a specific topic discussed recently that had nothing to do with the school, and there's no way the school would have any knowledge of it unless someone told them. Again nothing malicious however this really confirmed the "mole" theory for me.

Last week someone in the chat basically "outed" themselves as a friend of the teachers. Fine, doesn't make much of a difference to anyone however the more I think of it, the more uncomfortable it makes me.

Why would anyone feel the need to go running to the school with every little detail posted in this chat? Most of the topics are nonsense. Are they trying to score brownie points? Isolate themselves from the other parents? I just don't understand the thought process behind it.

I think I'll need to leave the chat as it's making me rather uncomfortable that someone is sharing my messages and input without my permission. Such a shame as the chat has been very helpful with keeping me informed with events and anything else school related. Wwyd?

A mole lol. Don't post anything online you wouldn't want members of the ahcool to read - literally basic use of social media

That’s exactly what most teachers have to deal with and is a real reason why there is a retention crisis in education.

You could do a Coleen / Vardy type sting. Say, a neighbour kicked off at you because another parent parked across their drive?

😂 yep my energies would be focused on finding out who was leaky.

Class what's apps should be literally exchanging info. You want to go and have a bitch about the school and staff go and do it somewhere else, pref not online where it can be printed and handed into the school. Some people have no sense of decency or respect for their primary schools

You are massively over reacting. You have no evidence that it's someone in your group, do you think that your class are the only parents discussing topics? Also why assume it's malicious - some people may prefer to approach the school to resolve things rather than just discuss in a whatsapp group. If you're saying things you wouldn't want anyone else to see then perhaps rethink what you're saying, otherwise just see it for what it is, a way of finding and sharing information quickly.

Also. Another thought - assuming this is low level grumbles. How do you know it’s the same person reporting back to school?

It may be that people have thought the same, and seeing others discuss it on the group has empowered them to report to school. Maybe previously they thought they were alone in thinking about the issue and/or the school wouldn’t respond. And maybe, having seen school respond on previous issues, that’s also encouraged a line of communication in the school...

Of course, this theory only works if you haven’t just been bitching…

I think you are over thinking it. Stay in the chat for the benefits but remember that it is a group of school mums, not close friends, so don't put anything in there that you wouldn't want repeating.

Sounds way more interesting than the chat I’m on. Ours is just what time does school finish on x date? Or which day is world book day? Has anyone seen a spare black un named glove?

I suppose there could be a mole... but equally, could be one or two people that mention things to the school in passing? I know I've commented on things on the class WhatsApp and then gone to ask school about them because I naturally/simply wanted to know the answer to my query! Similarly, I've seen things mentioned on the WhatsApp and asked the class teacher for the answer so that I could feed back to the group (and sometimes that info might also be included in official communication later in the week). So... not necessarily a mole, possible just communicating normally? 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely. So inappropriate.

Schools can’t bloody win. They try and address issues and maybe help communication and engagement with parents and get accused of having a ‘mole’. Perhaps one of the parents is actually a teacher/school admin? Perhaps they’re just trying to be helpful.

We had teachers in ours as their kids went to the same school. Nothing untoward was said - just basic reminders.

Some parents are more organised than others.

Stop putting stuff down you wouldn’t say to some face. Teachers are just doing their job.

In my experience, all school WhatsApp groups are like this (I'm currently in 3!). Everything gets back to school (and school tell us this!). Some parents do use the WhatsApp inappropriately e.g. airing grievances about teachers/school rather than approaching the school directly, which the school are trying to stop and I know several teachers have been upset with comments (understandably so on some occasions) so we do receive regular 'warnings' from school about the groups.
I wouldn't leave the group, they are a useful source of information (mainly about PE days!)

Some of the pupils (secondary) that I taught used to chat about their year group parent WhatsApp chat. They found it highly entertaining. Of course they are not private! Look at the how much trouble MPs get into by posting on ‘private’ WhatsApp chats.

I think you need to reframe this situation. What you've got is an informal liaison officer ...

... however planting some fake news might be fun just to see how things pan out.

Primary school life is always a bit Toytown meets John le Carré.

There are several teachers/TAs on our class WhatsApp with kids in different classes. I'd never post anything I didn't want to be made public, same as I would advise my dcs about their class chat. Different if it's a couple of people but anything more than about 6 people is public as far as I am concerned

Isn’t this all a bit dramatic?

A mole?

I mean it’s a class WhatsApp group where you presumably post about homework and what time is the drop off for the school trip and has someone found little Johny’s coat. Not the minutes of the last GCHQ meeting.

I seriously doubt there is anything that radical that shouldn’t be common knowledge. And if there is then that needs to stop. As soon as you put something online then you lose control over what happens to it.

And if things are being said to the school then the fault lies with the person who said them.

Never say anything online you wouldn’t want the person you’re talking about to read, on the basis they may already be reading it.

It sounds as if it gets things done-and presumably whatever's talked about on WhatsApp also gets talked about in the playground?

And "outed themselves" as a friend of a teacher? Seriously?Teachers and parents aren't on different sides!!

Personally I wouldn't put anything on a WhatsApp group (or online in general!) that I wouldn't be happy to have repeated so it doesn't bother me if I what I say on my class WhatsApp group is repeated!
In my case one of the parents is actually also a teacher at the school so I'm not surprised if anything gets fed back. I actually find it useful having her on there as she can confidently remind us about details of class trips etc!

At ours, the WhatsApp groups are set up in conjunction with the school and actively monitored by a member of admin staff so they can respond to queries about what's going on..it's a private secondary, lots of complex sports arrangements etc so it's useful. There may well be "unofficial" ones for bitching and grousing too but on the whole, it's v useful.

We have class reps in our school WhatsApp. They ask for our feedback and queries when they have planned meetings, but also if there are a load of us going "actually, no I don't know what day PE has been moved to/when the deadline for X is" Will pipe up and offer to speak to the right person at school so we're not all contacting the office en masse.

It's a collaborative group, not combative.

We had similar in our school. It was a brilliant resource for information but also a good way to draw head’s attention to an issue as he tended to make himself unavailable to parents except for gossiping with the PA. Stay quiet until you need to use it to your advantage.

If lots of people were concerned about something and someone took it upon themselves ti tactfully feed this back to the school so things could be clarified, I'd be grateful I think. Our secondary WhatsApp is currently grumbling about the lack of info about d of e. If we get a letter later today with the dates because someone has emailed on our collective behalf surely that's good, amd potentially better than each of us emailing in (which would still be better than everyone grumbling and doing nothing).

Stay on the chat as it’s an information source and connection to other parents. Always assume that anything on class WhatsApp groups gets back to school. I’m a teacher and I can assure you it does!

I think you should go full Wagatha Christie

Fill it with false stories and hide them from each participant in turn until you figure out your mole

Then expose them with a long and exciting message to the full group

Don't forget to finish with "and the only person who could see the message was................ X's phone"