Modern life is rubbish?

[MeanMrMustardSeed]

I’m not been immune to this myself, so not pointing fingers. I just keep seeing the same things on here again and again, and I’m coming to the conclusion that Blur were on to something.

We saw the dream of 2 incomes, and bigger houses and newer cars, eating out and foreign holidays. Then because we were all doing it, houses got more expensive. Then we needed two cars as we had two jobs and lots of activities for the kids, but we couldn’t save up for them, or afford them, so we took out leases on them. In the good old days of low interest rates we bought bigger houses, and took out loans for extensions and spent the rest on a family holiday.

Now we have expensive lifestyles but less disposable income. We’re tied into paying off loans that seemed manageable 5 years ago, paying £100s for cars that just don’t seem to do it for us anymore as almost every other person has one anyway. But mostly we’re knackered from trying to manage it all.

Lots of us seem to dream of getting rid of 50% of our things, eating the same simple meals every week, saving slowly for house improvements and living with ‘okay’, and getting off the treadmill, or at least slowing it down. If modern life made us all happy, I could maybe accept it’s all fine, but that’s not the vibe I’m getting.

So is modern life rubbish, or have I messed up somewhere?

Delete social media. Problem solved.

I know what you mean OP and I've been sucked into this but we have downsized in our 40s cleared out and paired back so we can save for our pensions.

Still feels a bit hamster wheel like as we have to work but on a different scale and I can see a bit further ahead now. In terms of incomes and future.

When you are in the thick of it it's so hard to step back and make a big change but downsizing is possible for most people.

Oh, for goodness sake. The majority of people in the UK will never earn six figures, no matter how hard they work. Is this a stealth boast?

But how much is it costing you? And does it really make much difference? A new fancy car costing me hundreds a month would make no actual real difference to my life. Seriously, it absolutely wouldn't.

What I think is sad is that when my parents were young they thought that by now we’d be working 2-3 days a week and robots/automation would cover the rest. Sadly it didn’t work out like that!

Of course it is.

yes! I remember saying this in geography lessons 30 years ago!

I love the 'We just don't do materialistic' line. So do they give all that money away to charity - Cats Protection?

I think you've mistaken frugal living for deprivation. If I wanted a better car or was dissatisfied with something, I'd spend money on a better one. But I wouldn't buy one just because 'everyone else' has one, nor would I go into debt for one.

YANBU and I agree with what you’re saying, however I don’t think there’s any point in leasing out cars and making life more difficult for yourself with all these monthly payments to keep up with others. As you say, everyone has a new car now and I always assume they’re owned by someone who pays them off monthly. I drive a beaten up 12 year old car that is worthless and I paid cash for, there’s no need for a fancy car!

I recall my parents rolling their eyes in the 60s about people who were clearly keeping up with the Jones's.

I think the phrase is all fur coat and no knickers.

The thing is when I see a nice, shiny new SUV, and then see and hear the people jumping out of it, I can guess it's leased.

I think modern life can be pretty stressful & unhealthy.

Bigger houses are also bought as investments for some people

Bigger houses also for adult children at home for longer allow more work space etc.

Younger people have less disposable income because of wage stagnation & higher housing costs.

Exactly. When I was a kid my dad replaced his car every 2 to 3 years, despite it effectively making us poor. It was the stupidest thing I've ever seen, a mistake I'm determined to avoid.

The four day week is gradually becoming a thing, though, and that's a big step forward.

I believe knowing the difference between need and want is key to living within your means.

It goes without saying, though, that if everyone did that the motor industry would be on its knees.

(Edited for "fat fingers".)

The problem is social media. Comparison is the thief of joy etc.

I do feel a bit jealous of people twenty or 30 years older than me, just because they bought property ages ago at the beginning of their careers, so now have bigger or multiple properties. Most my age have no properties and never will unless they inherit.

Good album that.

I left it all behind and am a small flat renter at 51!
I am far happier and healthier than previously. I downgraded my work to something modest that keeps me sane, and spend most of my free time in the outdoors, hiking, making art and basically daydreaming.
I am not a high earner any more, and I do not own property.
I do have a DP but am in no hurry to change anything.

Money, inheritance and the obsession with property are hot topics on MN. Glad to be somewhat removed from that now. Security and investment is nice, but not at the expense of our sanity and happiness. I can't take anything with me when I pop off either!

I must admit to not having had children though. I think the urgency to create more and more money and covet property is driven by our fear for protecting our young. Natural of course, but it is easy to manipulate parents.
We need to drastically alter our national obsession with property above all else to ease these issues, and calm down with the incessant one-up-man-ship.

Modern life is certainly not rubbish. It’s no longer unlawful to be gay. You have far more chance of surviving illness. Even people on very low incomes can afford food from all over the world. You can find out about anything you want if you can afford a digital device and data.

The biggest problem is housing. If you own your own family home, feel very lucky. For those of us who have to rent, it’d be heaven to have a home to save for improvements to.

Some of us do prefer renting though, I have lived all over the UK in some lovely places that i could never have done had I bought a property.
It is the inflated prices that are an issue. It is still just fine renting in many parts of the world. We ought to have the choice and still retain a good quality of life.

Renting isn't a negative : astronomically high housing costs are.

I also think relatively simple living and lack of debt works much better if you are both on the same page about this in a relationship and that remains consistent.

We always were at the point we didn't have much, but my H suddenly became quite image conscious and insisted on living in very nice areas , driving a nice car , admittedly a few years old but still a nice car - I don't drive. Also every few months he wants breaks somewhere - he does have a pretty stressful job working for himself and I don't begrudge it but it's hard to ever save when someone is looking for what break to book next and whilst comfortable, we certainly aren't loaded .

I think one reason as people say is social media but also friendships- we are in our early 60s and consequently lots of people we know have inherited substantial sums, whereas we aren't in that situation -

@pentangles us too -

I think life has always been a bit like that for some of the time. I'm 75 and remember the angst and pressure, the rat race. No time to stand and stare, as someone once said. It doesn't last forever, there will come a time when things even out and you start to look at a different way of life.

Watch the spiders on the bedroom ceiling
They got big plans, so they're not breathing