Modern life is rubbish?

[MeanMrMustardSeed]

I’m not been immune to this myself, so not pointing fingers. I just keep seeing the same things on here again and again, and I’m coming to the conclusion that Blur were on to something.

We saw the dream of 2 incomes, and bigger houses and newer cars, eating out and foreign holidays. Then because we were all doing it, houses got more expensive. Then we needed two cars as we had two jobs and lots of activities for the kids, but we couldn’t save up for them, or afford them, so we took out leases on them. In the good old days of low interest rates we bought bigger houses, and took out loans for extensions and spent the rest on a family holiday.

Now we have expensive lifestyles but less disposable income. We’re tied into paying off loans that seemed manageable 5 years ago, paying £100s for cars that just don’t seem to do it for us anymore as almost every other person has one anyway. But mostly we’re knackered from trying to manage it all.

Lots of us seem to dream of getting rid of 50% of our things, eating the same simple meals every week, saving slowly for house improvements and living with ‘okay’, and getting off the treadmill, or at least slowing it down. If modern life made us all happy, I could maybe accept it’s all fine, but that’s not the vibe I’m getting.

So is modern life rubbish, or have I messed up somewhere?

I agree. I've never had a lot of money. When I was younger and had a mortgage, I had no savings and if money ran out I'd have to wait till the next payday to buy anything. It was worrying it things broke down or a new bill arrived. I've now built up healthy savings and paid off my mortgage. My income (and expenditure) is still very low but I love not having to worry about money all the time.

I know this is an old post now but been reading through it and just couldn’t resist saying I so so agree with everything you’ve said!

I find it frustrating the comments making it sound so easy to resist the lure of modern trappings as though there’s no debate at all about it? That’s simply not what I see or feel in life. No, friends would never judge me for having less but I grew up with parents who always exchanged news of how “well” others are doing, or what a good job their child has now, have you seen their latest car? They don’t realise the lesson that’s teaching and I find it hard to shake. They are lovely people but they’ve expressed surprise in the past about how small our home is. We have a tiny terrace in an expensive commuter town because of our London jobs and they are always exclaiming at my younger sister earning “so much money” - she shows off about it because I can see she thinks money = people think you are successful. And we indicate that success with our homes and our cars etc. we’ve done it since the very dawn of humans.

I am resisting like mad - small mortgage, old car paid in cash, growing a kitchen garden because it makes me happy. Doesn’t mean I’m immune from wishing my front door didn’t open onto my small lounge and we had more room for things.

Thanks for starting this debate. It shouldn’t be shut down by those who disagree, they could help everyone see how they do it rather than calling people “simpletons”.

BonBon20 I imagine it may be difficult for some to resist, but surely the solution would be to examine why that is the case rather than simply giving in to mindless spending.
We inherit thought and emotional patterns from our parents, and yes they can be hard to shift, but we absolutely can change our mindset- on this and many other mechanisms.
I am not immune to having some things that are fun or unneccesary, but not to an extend which has an impact on my financial situation, and certainly not to seek validation from others.

I live within my means but I struggle to get by. Bread and butter lifestyle but very little jam! Depressing.

Why does everyone aspire to have 2 cars

I m very committed to financial security. Single, co parenting mum, have been mortgage free since 34, never have any loans, always have savings.

I never keep up with the johnses, I don't covet branded goods or showpiece jewellery. It never occurs to me to try to look rich for anyone else's benefit. Why?! I ve met billionaires through work, fuddy duddy engineer types, you ld never pick them out. The people trying to look rich are not rich.

How or why do I behave like this:

I don't feel valued in work unless I get payrises, I move jobs for better pay. I m pretty versatile in my work and have always earned a decent salary. When I was younger I worked two jobs.

I currently work from home and save a fortune on commuting, lunches, coffee, early birds, after work drinks (however I miss the socialising! ).

I consider the price/use ratio/lifespan of everything I buy (within reason). Furniture, carpets etc I consider the likelihood of needing to replace them and buy at a reduced price if I think they will be heavily used and need replacement in a few years.

My children are eco friendly and don't approve of landfill and as a result we wear our clothes until they fall apart.

I saw a lot of waste in my young years, I grew up in a high risk household, lots of money wasted on alcohol and horses etc., I m really conscious of providing for my children. Lots of the high risk behaviour paid off, some of it didn't.

I only like to invest in assets that will appreciate, anything that depreciate in value is a waste of money, this includes cars, designer clobber, luxury items.

I mostly spend my money on property and family experiences/holidays. I find flashy people needy.

Many families need two cars, no aspiration needed.

I watched a very interesting documentary on you tube about Switzerland the other day. It was very eye opening. Over there everybody prefers to underspend. Although the country is very rich people are not materialistic and even the cheapest foods are in the middle aisle. There is also less choice. Everybody saves money and repairs everything wherever possible. I don't know if it is partly due to most people having to rent. They also cycle a lot and don't eat out often. I admire their simplicity. Even rich people always underspend.

I totally agree, I’ve been working on it a lot with a therapist! Like I mentioned, I’m actually practicing frugality every day, but it’s about getting comfortable with it and not comparing. I just wish it was more of an open conversation (or perhaps I wish I could feel comfortable openly discussing it). I still can’t even pipe up when a bill isn’t split equally, despite always being so careful with my money, in case everything thinks I’m tight.

I am determined to join all the people on this thread who seemingly find it baffling why people like me waste their energy on such matters 😆.

I'm early 70s and growing up we had the bare minimum but a loving and happy family life. Neither my husband or myself have been much influenced by what we are supposed to think we should have. Only replace stuff when it's beyond repair, don't feel the need to have the latest gadget. I hate the phrase 'must have'.

When we do buy things it's never on credit. If the money is not in the bank we don't have it. I think the rot set in when credit cards came in in the 60s and people no longer had to wait for things. I understand why though.

The era of cheap credit did lots of people no favours really. It was inevitable that it would go up eventually. We have a young family member who has to keep up with all the latest 'stuff' and bought loads of things when credit was next to nothing. The trouble is she works on the checkouts and is a single mum so has practically zero disposable income. We older members of the family tried, in a kindly, concerned way asked her to think what would happen when rates rose and to be careful but we're told we were old fashioned and this is the way everyone lives now. Sadly she is now in a very bad way financially surrounded by what she now sees as out of date crap. It's so sad.

@DoraSpenlow I entirely agree. Credit cards (and, to a lesser extent, just using a card or phone to pay for stuff) 'hide' the fact that you're spending money. Handing over a card or swiping a bit of plastic doesn't feel like you're giving something away so it's too easy. I use cash for that reason, even if it does make me look like a dinosaur.

2 cars have been mentioned on this thread as a marker of success