My new boyfriend hates me speaking to my kids dad

[Purplepanda17]

So I've been with a new boyfriend for about 5/6 months and right from day one he's always hated me speaking to my kids dad.
Me and him split up about 5 years ago, when our youngest was under a year old, and we've always co-parented well together, and communicated well regarding our 2 kids. I get on well with his new partner and also communicate with her well too.
However my last partner hated my speaking to my baby daddy, and now my new partner does too. My new partner seems to get angry and really jealous.
So a typical convo with my baby daddy might go something like;
Him - hi, how are the boys today? I'll be finishing work at 5 so I can pick them up on my way home and give them some tea.
Me - The boys are fine and OK that's great thanks.

Or he might ask me questions about school, or I'll text him and tell him if something has happened that he needs to know about, but generally when we talk it's regarding who's house the kids are at and who's doing them tea. Nothing more.

My new partner says I flirt with him and I've still got feelings for him and I shouldn't talk to him as nicely as I do. He gets insanely jealous if me and my kids dad have to ring each other for something and says we flirt on the phone. Which I can guarantee we don't. He says our texts should be short one word answers and we don't need to tell each other things about the kids.
To me, I think this is wrong. Both the kids are still in primary school, they aren't old enough to remember to tell their parents things yet so they still need both their parents to be their voice.
Also when me and their dad split up, we both agreed we'd never argue or be angry infront of the kids, because we only ever wanted them to see us getting along, but now I have a new partner, I feel like I can't even talk to the kids dad about anything without my partner being jealous.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Get rid op hes a controlling tosser and won't get any better

Well said!

I thought this too. It’s like people are more offended by the term ‘baby dad’ than the actual problem.
@Purplepanda17 If it is like this after 6 months, it will not get any better.
Please help yourself and your kids by waving goodbye to him.

Get rid. He's controlling and it will only get worse if you stay.

Trust your instincts on this guy. He is being completely unreasonable and the fact that at just a few months in he feels comfortable enough to comment on this and share his ridiculous paranoia suggests he will only get worse and more controlling. Ditch him.

Updated as I’ve just seen he is telling you what to say and wear and trying to limit contact with your ex. Huge red flags. He is not a good person. Please get rid of him.

In future would it be possible to wait longer before introducing anyone to your children?

You’re a grown woman. Why tf are you even entertaining this shit from a bloke who’s been around a mere few months? Instead of “having to go and put joggers on” you should have told him to jog on right out the front door, over the hills and far, far away.
Maybe concentrate on yourself and try to understand why you keep picking bellends to introduce your kids to.

6 months and he thinks he has any right to tell you how to behave!
You need to put your children first. This relationship can only have a negative effect on them.
At the moment it's focused on communication with your ex. But what if it turns to resentment towards your children .
The fact he doesn't trust you shows this relationship won't work

He’s ridiculous and will never be able to cope in an amicable coparenting set up. My DH talks to his ex daily, quick check in on DSD from whoever doesn’t have her that day, similar to your conversations. Doesn’t bother me at all and I chat to her too when necessary.

Please tell me you've dumped him and he's in the process of moving his things out?

If he’s ‘insanely jealous’ at just a few months in, it’s a sure bet that he will only get worse as time goes on and his reactions will escalate. Save yourself and your kids the drama, they deserve a peaceful home and parents who model good relationships whether they’re together or not

I agree with this. OP is standing at the top of a slippery slope. Things can only get worse from here. OP, I really hope you take heed of all this advice. It will save a lot of heartache for you and your children.

So what is it about the immature prat that makes you want him in your DC's life or, indeed, in yours?

You need to have contact with your ex for the benefit of your children. Any partner who can't cope with that is not worth keeping in your life.

New partner either needs to grow up or move on.

No way should you have to hate and treat your ex badly to appease a man child.

OP, as other pp have suggested, you brought this new boyfriend into your young children's lives FAR too soon.

I know you've already mentioned getting rid and staying single for a while. When you do have another boyfriend, keep him well away from your kids for a very long time - please.

How dare he tell you how to behave, dump this idiot and tell him why

He is one big red flag. Dump him.

Dump him. It will only get worse and it may cause anxiety for your DCs if it continues.
It's great that you co parent so well.

Yep!

You need to raise your standards when picking boyfriends. They should want you to have a friendly relationship with the father of your children.

also, if you gave only been dating this man for 6 months, he really doesn’t need to be in your house while the children are present. Why was he even witnessing exchanges in the first place?

As PPs have said, after only 5/6 months he shouldn’t even be involved in your DCs life.

You say that your DC sees their dad and so there’s no reason why you couldn’t have spent time with your bf when they were not there.

You have introduced them to a new man and now need to end things.

If you had taken things slower then you would have likely recognised the red flags before introducing him to your child.

You need to be waiting at least 6 months to start introducing someone and even then it should be very rare and meeting out of the house, to eventually build up where he comes over for the evening.
It will save you a lot of issues in the future.

HNRTT but have seen many posts suggesting you end the relationship. You shpuldn't have to consider the following in a decent world but be careful how and where you end the relationship as that level of jealousy so early is indicative of significant insecurity which might not react rationally and safely to having a woman end a relationship.

Good luck.

I can’t believe we are on page 9 and you are still with this total waste of space! Where is your self-worth??

1. He is not your partner, he is someone you're dating.
2. He will be an ex boyfriend soon
3. You need to reset your boundaries & not introduce random men to your kids & home so soon
4. You need to do the online freedom programme to recognise red flags in future relationships

Dump this guy.

Immediately.

FFS that is NOT relevant to what the OP is asking and she has already 'apologised' for using the term! RTFT!!!