My new boyfriend hates me speaking to my kids dad

[Purplepanda17]

So I've been with a new boyfriend for about 5/6 months and right from day one he's always hated me speaking to my kids dad.
Me and him split up about 5 years ago, when our youngest was under a year old, and we've always co-parented well together, and communicated well regarding our 2 kids. I get on well with his new partner and also communicate with her well too.
However my last partner hated my speaking to my baby daddy, and now my new partner does too. My new partner seems to get angry and really jealous.
So a typical convo with my baby daddy might go something like;
Him - hi, how are the boys today? I'll be finishing work at 5 so I can pick them up on my way home and give them some tea.
Me - The boys are fine and OK that's great thanks.

Or he might ask me questions about school, or I'll text him and tell him if something has happened that he needs to know about, but generally when we talk it's regarding who's house the kids are at and who's doing them tea. Nothing more.

My new partner says I flirt with him and I've still got feelings for him and I shouldn't talk to him as nicely as I do. He gets insanely jealous if me and my kids dad have to ring each other for something and says we flirt on the phone. Which I can guarantee we don't. He says our texts should be short one word answers and we don't need to tell each other things about the kids.
To me, I think this is wrong. Both the kids are still in primary school, they aren't old enough to remember to tell their parents things yet so they still need both their parents to be their voice.
Also when me and their dad split up, we both agreed we'd never argue or be angry infront of the kids, because we only ever wanted them to see us getting along, but now I have a new partner, I feel like I can't even talk to the kids dad about anything without my partner being jealous.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Tough tellhim he's there daddy it's an adult mutual things adults do give him back his rattle and put him out the door tell him you don't need another kid

It’s none of his business ‘what he thinks’ you should be texting your children’s dad. He needs to back off and butt out or leave.

Good co parenting is hard to come by these days, don’t let a new boyfriend wreck it for you, your kids dad and the children you share.

Dump the W ⚓️

You need to dump this controlling man.

If it wasn't the ex it would be other men. Or he would be jealous of your relationship with your children.

Jealousy is always a huge red flag.

You are right.

You are not the problem here.

Don't try talking him out of this. His problem is deeply ingrained and would take years of willing engagement with a therapist to sort it out.

You need to give him his marching orders. Expect him to apologise and promise to change. This will all be lies.

HUGE red flag leave now for your kids sake of not yours.

🚩🚩🚩🚩

Why Is this even a question.

drop new boyfriend - he is an immature prick.

stop using the term baby daddy - it’s awful.

take a bit of time to be single and consider why you tolerate this type of behavior

Yes. In some cultures it been the norm for decades. Not sure how and why it has entered the mainstream but it’s very offensive to hear the disparaging comments about it, and misunderstanding of what it implies.

It is brilliant you have maintained a healthy relationship with your kid's dad and his new partner. He is going to be in your life forever and a healthy co parenting relationship is worth its weight in gold . The new fella sounds like an immature dick.

Putting aside the rights and wrongs of of this you’ve got years of co parenting ahead of you so it simply not going to work
move on

Hey OP
Tip of the iceberg with this guy , just going to say same as everyone else ..Get Rid ! !..

You & your Ex work very well together for the kids & you couldn’t ask for more , That’s so good for them ☺️..
Don’t let some lame guy come into your world & ruin that …
That is what will happen, your kids & you deserve so much better & I think you know this yourself …x

glad you’ve had good advice here (yes dump this loser boyfriend - he is covered in red flags).

Also highly recommend you read Lundy Bancroft’s book ‘Why Does He Do That?’ to futureproof yourself. Forewarned is forearmed and all that…

Keep doing what you’re doing in terms of co-parenting. Future you and your children will be so glad you did.

Amen to this @Purplepanda17 Lose the bastard. Jealous, angry men only go down one path. You'll either get coercive control where he controls every aspect of your life or domestic violence. Not great lucky dip choices are they? RUN FOR THE HILLS.

I hope you’ve ditched this bellend by now lovely.

Find a MAN who understands you have two children by an Ex who you have a civil relationship with it. Stop messing about with immature boys.

Please please say you're dumping this guy. I'm so surprised you carried on seeing him when he was like this from day 1.

My word! Run don’t walk away from this!

this is an abuser in their early stages. You can talk to who you like, how you like, dressed how you like.

you are being an excellent parent as is your ex by the sound of it. Don’t let a bully who is insecure, jealous and quite probably dangerous near you or the kids and don’t let him make you doubt yourself.

dump him asap but don’t expect him to go easily!

OP don't query yourself, this is really inappropriate from him. He knew he was getting together with a woman with kids and an active father. If that's something he doesn't want in his life he should aim to date women without children, not spoil a civil and beneficial relationship with his cheap insinuations.

Dans la poubelle.

I voted you as unreasonable..because you are tolerating an angry,jealous man child around your children.

Your ex sounds like a responsible father, and your conversation is out of concern for your child. Your boyfriend is indeed very possessive, so I suggest you leave him.

How many red flags do you want? Ditch him fast, you and your ex and your children do not need this jerk in your life.

@Purplepanda17 Are you ok, OP? The man you're dating sounds dangerous so I can’t help worrying a bit..

Exactly, so that's 2 men that you've had around your kids that were poor choices. Why are you not doing better for them?

You have to communicate with your ex and the fact you have a good coparenting relationship is something to certainly maintain.

Anyone coming into your life as a partner needs to accept you have children with someone else and therefore will technically always be a family in some regard, even if you are not together, it’s just that your interactions will dwindle as your kids age out of needing you both to communicate. If they can’t do this then there is no point being in a relationship with them!

I say that as a stepparent who’s DH used to have to jump through hoops to see his son which was insisted upon being supervised by his EXP for no good reason for 2 years after they separated! I respected him for doing whatever was necessary at the time to maintain the relationship with his son and was secure enough in our relationship to not worry about it. That was 12 years ago come April, oh how times change over the years.