My new boyfriend hates me speaking to my kids dad

[Purplepanda17]

So I've been with a new boyfriend for about 5/6 months and right from day one he's always hated me speaking to my kids dad.
Me and him split up about 5 years ago, when our youngest was under a year old, and we've always co-parented well together, and communicated well regarding our 2 kids. I get on well with his new partner and also communicate with her well too.
However my last partner hated my speaking to my baby daddy, and now my new partner does too. My new partner seems to get angry and really jealous.
So a typical convo with my baby daddy might go something like;
Him - hi, how are the boys today? I'll be finishing work at 5 so I can pick them up on my way home and give them some tea.
Me - The boys are fine and OK that's great thanks.

Or he might ask me questions about school, or I'll text him and tell him if something has happened that he needs to know about, but generally when we talk it's regarding who's house the kids are at and who's doing them tea. Nothing more.

My new partner says I flirt with him and I've still got feelings for him and I shouldn't talk to him as nicely as I do. He gets insanely jealous if me and my kids dad have to ring each other for something and says we flirt on the phone. Which I can guarantee we don't. He says our texts should be short one word answers and we don't need to tell each other things about the kids.
To me, I think this is wrong. Both the kids are still in primary school, they aren't old enough to remember to tell their parents things yet so they still need both their parents to be their voice.
Also when me and their dad split up, we both agreed we'd never argue or be angry infront of the kids, because we only ever wanted them to see us getting along, but now I have a new partner, I feel like I can't even talk to the kids dad about anything without my partner being jealous.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Again, thanks everyone.
I know what I need to do, and I think I'll be staying away from men for a long time 🤣

A peaceful and effective co parenting relationship is extremely valuable to yours and your children’s wellbeing, both short and long term.

Insecure, controlling boyfriends threaten that wellbeing, they definitely don’t enhance it.

I split with my ex husband 10 years ago - we now live in terraced houses that back onto the same alleyway. DD can look out of her bedroom window at mum’s house and see her bedroom window at dad’s house (and vice versa, obvs).

I’d never ever restart a romantic or sexual relationship with ex H but living more or less next door has been SO handy for forgotten wellies and middle of the night sickness and re-pairing single socks. He’ll feed my cat when I’m away and I’ll put his wheelie bin out for collection if he’s forgotten. We attend school events together and he sends me Sunday lunch on a plate over the back wall (I hate cooking).

We’ve both had potential dates get weird over us being neighbours - I actually think it’s worked as a useful protective factor, I’m not an appealing target for a man who seeks to isolate/control a girlfriend & my ex has only dated women who see the practical benefits of his daughter’s mother being nearby - anyone prone to jealousy has weeded themselves out pretty sharpish!

Set yourself free now so that you’ll be able to one day meet someone who slots in with your established co parenting relationship, this man will likely try to implode it you give him the opportunity.

"Baby Daddy"

Yuk!
Your repeated use of this cringeworthy phrase leads me to suggest that both you're immature & would benefit from some time as a single person working on yourself.

Came here to say that. It's an awful term.

Yay!! Fab news op.

I always maintained an excellent relationship with my x and his new wife, we are still the best of friends. If your partner can’t accept that, I agree he is jealous and controlling, to be honest he doesn’t sound like a nice person at all.
I think in your heart you know the answer.
Just because couples split they don’t have to immediately hate each other!
Just saw your update, absolutely the best decision.

So your dc is 6? Hardly a baby. Ditch the bf he resents you having had a relationship and children already.

Report your own post and ask MNHQ to amend title

You should have dumped him the second he told you he was jealous that you speak to your children's other parent. Stop dating men like this.

You lost me at baby daddy 🙄

Exactly this. New partner sounds like an arse and shouldn’t be in you and your children’s lives. ‘Baby daddy’ sounds like an effective and active co parent

OP has already apologised twice for that term.

He can get in the sea.

Again another poor DP choice.

If you want to put up with his shit carry on.

I agree with both the above points.

You all need to grow up.

Get rid. You do not need this drama or man child behaviour in your life. Your messages sound entirely appropriate and well done for managing such a positive co-parenting relationship. Move on and find a decent respectful partner that recognises that you are both adults and that you and the father of your child have children together and by virtue of that are going to have communication with one another.

Firstly, congratulations on communicating effectively with your ex. It makes a HUGE difference to your children's welfare!

Secondly, your current boyfriend is a prick. If he doesn't understand the importance of communicating with your ex and is even going as far as accusing you of flirting, then this relationship has reached the end of the road. Just because you and your ex aren't together any more, doesn't mean you can't get on well with each other.

Thirdly, ignore the idiots making a fuss over the term "baby daddy". It's just a slang term for the biological father of your kids. It's quite clear what you are referring to, so no idea what the issue is!

Thank you 💕

Children's need to have amicable and happy parents who communicate and work together for their benefit >>> insecure, jealous, immature new man's fragile feelings.
I'd be surprised if this jealousy is limited only to your children's father. Likely this will extend to male friends/colleagues/random men you come across in day to day life if you stick around long enough. It's no way to live. Plenty more fish in the sea, throw this one back x

He's never going to accept that you put your children first, in any way, shape or form. I'd be thinking about whether you want him to be a parent figure to your boys, as he doesn't seem willing to even consider supporting the successful co-parenting that you've got in place.

red flag, dump the boyfriend op, it won't get better 5 months in and he's already showing his true colours. as a side note it's so refreshing to read of a lovely positive co parenting relationship, good for you :) don't let the new bloke turn that into something toxic. plenty more fish in the sea that won't be jealous and insecure of his partner getting along with her childs father.

'@DoYouReally · Today 12:34

You need to stop picking immature, insecure men.'

This.

And I think the OP has some general growing up to do too.

Another option for the multiple is that the op keeps choosing the same type of man. She possible needs validation, looks to a man for this, and then conflates a controlling/jealous nature with 'he must really really like me.' Like the op has realised herself, staying away from men for a bit is the way forward

Treat it as a helpful indicator of which posters can’t be arsed to read a thread before weighing in, and that means you can ignore their “help”

Major red flag OP, can you imagine what it would be like it a year or 2 once the mask drops! Eww, no throw that one back, a good co parenting relationship and happy kids is worth so much more than a jealous partner