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AIBU?

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Original poster

My new boyfriend hates me speaking to my kids dad

277 replies

Purplepanda17 · 22/02/2025 12:33

So I've been with a new boyfriend for about 5/6 months and right from day one he's always hated me speaking to my kids dad.
Me and him split up about 5 years ago, when our youngest was under a year old, and we've always co-parented well together, and communicated well regarding our 2 kids. I get on well with his new partner and also communicate with her well too.
However my last partner hated my speaking to my baby daddy, and now my new partner does too. My new partner seems to get angry and really jealous.
So a typical convo with my baby daddy might go something like;
Him - hi, how are the boys today? I'll be finishing work at 5 so I can pick them up on my way home and give them some tea.
Me - The boys are fine and OK that's great thanks.

Or he might ask me questions about school, or I'll text him and tell him if something has happened that he needs to know about, but generally when we talk it's regarding who's house the kids are at and who's doing them tea. Nothing more.

My new partner says I flirt with him and I've still got feelings for him and I shouldn't talk to him as nicely as I do. He gets insanely jealous if me and my kids dad have to ring each other for something and says we flirt on the phone. Which I can guarantee we don't. He says our texts should be short one word answers and we don't need to tell each other things about the kids.
To me, I think this is wrong. Both the kids are still in primary school, they aren't old enough to remember to tell their parents things yet so they still need both their parents to be their voice.
Also when me and their dad split up, we both agreed we'd never argue or be angry infront of the kids, because we only ever wanted them to see us getting along, but now I have a new partner, I feel like I can't even talk to the kids dad about anything without my partner being jealous.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Scout2016 · 22/02/2025 13:18

Dump the boyfriend.

Well done on achieving amicable co-parenting for your kids' sake. Don't compromise on it.

Comfortablycosy · 22/02/2025 13:20

He’s not a partner. He’s a new boyfriend of just 5/6 months which is fuck all.

You should have got rid the first time he said anything like that. Who does he think he is?

pinkroses79 · 22/02/2025 13:20

It's a red flag. I would end the relationship. It's very important for your children to maintain good communication with their dad and no one should come between that.

yourmaw · 22/02/2025 13:20

being unreasonble by...writing that all out n not realise where your at? if its anything other than "newly single" aye yabu. its not even debteable. its a shame yu arent permited to brand these sssholes save anyone else getting time wsted

Lotsofsnacks · 22/02/2025 13:21

Purplepanda17 · 22/02/2025 12:33

So I've been with a new boyfriend for about 5/6 months and right from day one he's always hated me speaking to my kids dad.
Me and him split up about 5 years ago, when our youngest was under a year old, and we've always co-parented well together, and communicated well regarding our 2 kids. I get on well with his new partner and also communicate with her well too.
However my last partner hated my speaking to my baby daddy, and now my new partner does too. My new partner seems to get angry and really jealous.
So a typical convo with my baby daddy might go something like;
Him - hi, how are the boys today? I'll be finishing work at 5 so I can pick them up on my way home and give them some tea.
Me - The boys are fine and OK that's great thanks.

Or he might ask me questions about school, or I'll text him and tell him if something has happened that he needs to know about, but generally when we talk it's regarding who's house the kids are at and who's doing them tea. Nothing more.

My new partner says I flirt with him and I've still got feelings for him and I shouldn't talk to him as nicely as I do. He gets insanely jealous if me and my kids dad have to ring each other for something and says we flirt on the phone. Which I can guarantee we don't. He says our texts should be short one word answers and we don't need to tell each other things about the kids.
To me, I think this is wrong. Both the kids are still in primary school, they aren't old enough to remember to tell their parents things yet so they still need both their parents to be their voice.
Also when me and their dad split up, we both agreed we'd never argue or be angry infront of the kids, because we only ever wanted them to see us getting along, but now I have a new partner, I feel like I can't even talk to the kids dad about anything without my partner being jealous.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Can’t believe you have to ask?!!! How many partners before you pick a good one? Ditch him he is bad news!! Please don’t rush into relationships until u really get to know a guy. He sounds scarily jealous, red flag!!!

Original poster
Purplepanda17 · 22/02/2025 13:22

Is there any way I can edit my post and take baby daddy out of it?!
I have already said twice that I don't normally use the term baby daddy, but still people are slating me for it!
The term baby daddy isn't the issue, my new partner is!
🤣🤣

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 22/02/2025 13:22

wizzywig · 22/02/2025 12:34

Ditch this guy. Noone should prevent you from raising your child in a positive manner

This. Don't let him control you and try to destroy your child's relationship with his dad.

HelenCurlyBrown · 22/02/2025 13:22

Has anyone said ‘baby daddy’ should be banned?
😂 and also 🤢

HouseAshamed · 22/02/2025 13:22

YABU for calling your children's father 'baby daddy'
YABU for seeing someone jealous and controlling.

Bin the boyfriend. Your relationship with your ex sounds fine.

Apologies, but I hadn't seen your latest post when I posted.

Tigergirl80 · 22/02/2025 13:23

Get rid he’s a control freak.

aylis · 22/02/2025 13:23

Don't accept this in your relationship! It will end up causing tension between your relationship with him, and both your AND your kids relationship with their dad. It's not worth it. I saw this play out with my mum and we ended up not seeing our dad for 10 years. Don't let it in your life!

Riapia · 22/02/2025 13:24

Baby daddy
FFS grow up.

outerspacepotato · 22/02/2025 13:25

One of the best things you can do for your kids is have a good co-parenting relationship with the other parent. It sets a good example and makes life for everyone much easier.

Your new boyfriend is trying to disrupt that because he's controlling and jealous and immature. He is not going to change. This is who he is when he should be showing you his best side in this brand new relationship.

Who comes first for you, your kids or the new bf?

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/02/2025 13:25

HelenCurlyBrown · 22/02/2025 13:22

Has anyone said ‘baby daddy’ should be banned?
😂 and also 🤢

Perhaps posters who pick on a minor issue instead of trying to be helpful should be banned.

SemperIdem · 22/02/2025 13:26

Your new boyfriend is very immature, this will go badly if you continue the relationship with him.

arethereanyleftatall · 22/02/2025 13:27

Op - I GEBUINELY don't understand how you need to ask what to do here. This is an immediate dumping. Literally. 'I don't like how you still talk to your ex.' 'Ok. This isn't going to work then. Take care.' The red flag is huge. Please, for your children's sake, do some reading on what isn't remotely acceptable for a healthy relationship.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 22/02/2025 13:27

I do wish people would read all the OP's posts before commenting. They then wouldn't look like twats.

OP, I think you know your BF is an unpleasant wanker and he has an appointment in the ditch.

MonthsofTherapy · 22/02/2025 13:27

You have an amazing relationship with your ex and you are both being fantastic role models to your child.
Your new partner is absolutely not a keeper and will never be a role model.

Sevenwondersofthewoo · 22/02/2025 13:28

Ditch the man now as it’ll get worse

work on yourself as you seem to be a magnet for arseholes

RobbingBanks · 22/02/2025 13:30

Purplepanda17 · 22/02/2025 13:22

Is there any way I can edit my post and take baby daddy out of it?!
I have already said twice that I don't normally use the term baby daddy, but still people are slating me for it!
The term baby daddy isn't the issue, my new partner is!
🤣🤣

That's because people haven't read the rest of the thread, just your OP and the first few responses.

It's unanimous:

A) Dump the boyfriend
B) Neve, ever use the phrase "baby daddy" again.

BigHeadBertha · 22/02/2025 13:30

I'd normally say the boyfriend needs to at least be set straight that you won't tolerate this nonsense and don't want to hear any more of it.

However, what gives me pause here is that you say your previous boyfriend felt the same way.

Keeping in mind that people aren't always the best reporters on their own lives, especially when they'd prefer to be right, that makes it a toss-up to me.

So, either both the current boyfriend and the previous boyfriend are both jealous with big imaginations or your behavior with your ex is inappropriately flirty. We can't know which from here.

PoltergeistsStartLowKey · 22/02/2025 13:32

Nobody should be telling you how to do anything OP. Anything at all.

LTB

Heronwatcher · 22/02/2025 13:33

Massive red flag, controlling, insecure AND puts his own paranoia before your kids’ welfare. How very attractive.

The very best thing you can do for your kids is maintain a positive co-parenting relationship with your ex, don’t let this selfish dick ruin it.

CortieTat · 22/02/2025 13:33

Please get rid. Any mature partner would be delighted to see that you co-parent well and have a good relationship with both your ex and his current partner. It paints you in a very positive light as a well-balanced, grown up person.

You really don’t need this insecure controlling guy in your life.

PoltergeistsStartLowKey · 22/02/2025 13:33

MN needs a new acronym. FOMDC - Father Of My DC.