AIBU unreasonable to feel upset about this .......

[Mossley]

I've been seeing my partner for 20 months now, he has 3 daughters, they obviously message each other which is all good, nice to see them close as a family.

But I caught sight of a message between him and one of his daughters recently that left me feeling upset. Basically we were sitting on the couch and he put his phone next to me to charge and then went the loo. His phone wasn't locked and what caught my eye, was he'd left WhatsApp open and there was a picture of my cupboard in my home that had been sent as part of a message.

I knew I shouldn't have read it but I did. So to put this in context I've been feeling quite anxious about the state of world affairs and the looming potential of World War 3 and I saw an add to buy vacuum packed ready meals that last years. So I bought a box of them and put them in the cupboard. So my partner had taken a photo of the cupboard, sent it to his daughter and said 'Trying to get my coat out of the nuke' storage cupboard'. Both of them reply with a trail of laughing emojis and then his daughter says 'What a whopper'
He then replies 'You don't know the half of it, really"

There's a part of me that thinks its funny, but then there's another part of me that thinks its mean and they are both laughing at me. It's also made me wonder what other things he's telling them and whether I'm regularly just the butt of jokes. Also I feel something like that should be private and so what other stuff is he disclosing? It's made me feel like an outsider in his life.

So, am I just being just being too sensitive and I should just 'man-up' or do I have a right to feel uneasy about this? Thanks.

I'm not a prepper myself, but the people shouting "Conspiracy theories!" are way off the mark. There has just been a seismic geopolitical shift, and the US can no longer be considered an ally, so that's quite a big deal really, and the world is significantly more unstable than it was six months ago.

@Wonderi Give it a rest. Respect to me would not be taking pics of something in my home in order to have a laugh with someone else at my expense.

This has nothing to do with OP and any anxiety she may have but the completely basic requirement of someone not taking the piss behind your back. That is a red flag to me.

Discovering that an assumed “good friend” isn’t as good a friend as we thought they were hurts.

But it doesn’t hurt half as much as finding out that said good friend wasn’t really a friend at all.

If friendship, REAL friendship, means ANYTHING it means “you can count on me”. A true friend will stand beside you in the rain and storm…..AND the sun. A friend will be able to be happy for you whilst dealing with feelings of (understandible) envy. If the ONLY thing she can feel is seething resentment and jealousy…..that person was never your friend OP. Merely a good aquaintance. There is nothing whatsoever wrong in being or having an aquaintance. But that’s all she/they ever were.

I’m so sorry OP. One of life’s truly painful lessons. Let them go.

Oh, no…wrong thread! So sorry. I have no idea how to delete it. Apologies!

No worries lol Easily done.

Has he made any comments to you previously about the supplies, if so, in what way? Like, are u daft or similar?

Or about the other things he may not be agreeing with you on (ie "the half of it" he referred to in his message to his dd?).

Or is it the first you noticed? Or has he just agreed to disagree in a good natured way?

It's come out of the blue really.......

Hi OP I don’t think it is strange to have some provisions for an emergency. In fact it is sensible. I hate the fact I am living in temporary accommodation at the moment and cannot really stock up on the way I would like to. So prepping for emergency is a reasonable thing. I used to date a guy who had a store of army ration packs. They didn’t taste too bad if I remember rightly.

I would feel hurt by your partners comments. Like others have said I wouldn’t mind some ribbing to my face but behind my back and what was said would hurt.

Not sure what I would do re your partner in your shoes. I would probably wait and see how he acted. Is he respectful to you, if he treats you dismissively or you see other signs then I would end it.

Also my first thought when I read your post was, well him and his daughters won’t be getting any of my ration packs if the end of the world happens nor a place where in my bunker.

Thank you, I'll be keeping them to myself ! lol

In which case…..you could ascribe it to unusual & temporary daft behaviour. And a harmless joke between father & daughter which ( entirely justifiably) didn’t land as remotely funny with you. Don’t let this destroy an otherwise good relationship, Mossley. If you’d said he is generally condescending, dismissive and a backstabber - not good. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.

If you read what I sometimes text to my friends about my hubby’s utterly incomprehensible( to me!) love of reading manuals…yikes. Yet, I love him deeply and completely adore him. Despite my verbal eye rolling to close friends. But who the heck LOVES manuals??? 😂 It’s bizarre! Your DP might feel the same about emergency supplies.

Your partner many not have meant anything hurtful by it. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt? Once!

Thank you :-)

I think I would have said...
Er, why have you got a picture of my cupboard on your phone?! And
pointed at said pic...
But that moment's gone, could you possibly tell him something's on your mind?🤔Hopefully you might end up having a laff😊

Eat him !!

I don’t think you are wrong to feel upset. I would too. You saw what you saw because his phone was right there, and I reckon most people would look unless they are the bloody patron saint of privacy!

Also you’re not mad for making some preparations just in case. Anything can happen from natural disasters to war or another pandemic!
If it makes you feel safer and less anxious to make sure you have some food and toiletries for your family it’s not hurting anyone and I certainly don’t think you should be called a conspiracy theorist with the state of the world right now!
Fail to prepare or prepare to fail after all.
Let’s remember the government put an alert system through our phones for a reason!

You shouldn't be reading your partner's messages.....