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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Plane seat upset

223 replies

Foodieasfuck · 22/02/2025 08:29

We travelled back from holiday yesterday. I booked (and paid for) an aisle seat and a middle seat (as this is our preference) The flight was full so we knew that someone would be sat on the window seat. The man arrived after us and it was very obvious that he was going to really struggle to squeeze across 2 seats and into his seat. He was very, very overweight (no judgement, just stating the facts).
He asked us if we could please just move over so that he could sit on the end. It was a 4.5 hour flight and I had chosen the aisle seat so that I can get to the loo easily. (Weak bladder).
The stewardess got involved and also asked us if we could ‘just move over’. It was really embarrassing for all concerned but I stood my ground and politely refused. The man duly took the window seat but it took him a while to shuffle over. He hadn’t paid for a seat in advance, it was randomly allocated at check in. There was no bad feeling. He was a nice man. He needed the loo once during the flights and we happily let him out.

I don’t believe I was unreasonable as I’d paid for the seats but it’s left me feeling a bit bad for him. There isn’t much point in paying for seats if you can’t actually sit on them. Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
letthemeatcakes · 22/02/2025 08:35

No, you weren't unreasonable, neither was he.

cinnamonbunfight · 22/02/2025 08:36

letthemeatcakes · 22/02/2025 08:35

No, you weren't unreasonable, neither was he.

Of course he was! He should’ve booked an aisle seat if he needed one!

Itisbetter · 22/02/2025 08:36

Forget it.

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 22/02/2025 08:36

Well, ideally he would have booked a seat, but we don't know the reason he didn't. If he had to make an emergency flight, I'd be inclined to help. However, if he just hadn't been bothered to book, then it's his bad.
Quite how one would determine this, I don't know!
It's tricky

toomuchfaff · 22/02/2025 08:38

letthemeatcakes · 22/02/2025 08:35

No, you weren't unreasonable, neither was he.

This.

Are you just bored?
Surely this topic is done to death.
Let it go.

Sevenamcoffee · 22/02/2025 08:39

Well you shouldn’t be expected to announce to the plane about your weak bladder!

Redpeach · 22/02/2025 08:39

Itisbetter · 22/02/2025 08:36

Forget it.

How patronising

Redpeach · 22/02/2025 08:40

He was a cf

Itisbetter · 22/02/2025 08:42

Redpeach · 22/02/2025 08:39

How patronising

I do hope you have a good morning.

RabbitsEatPancakes · 22/02/2025 08:42

He was clearly on the wrong. He should have prebooked if he had special requirements.

If it was a last minute emergency flight then he should have at least offered to reimburse the cost of your seats if not offered that and to buy you a drink or something too.

TickingAlongNicely · 22/02/2025 08:42

"I need the aisle seat for medical reasons". (No specifics required).

But makes a change from moaning about families not prebooking.

XWKD · 22/02/2025 08:43

To be a proper MN thread, was he a trans MIL?

TheChosenTwo · 22/02/2025 08:44

Well you weren’t unreasonable but I have got up and moved in your circumstances.

BeachRide · 22/02/2025 08:45

I would've thought a solo passenger on the plane (without a weak bladder) would have jumped at the chance of a window seat. Did they put a general call out? Poor man.

WonderingWanda · 22/02/2025 08:46

Op the bad feeling you have is because we are conditioned to be people pleasers and for once you have stood your ground and pleased yourself. Don't feel bad about it, you also had a genuine reason for wanting the aisle seat. Feel proud of yourself.

ThisBlueDeer · 22/02/2025 08:49

Wasn’t your fault he couldn’t fit, not your job to accommodate him. You politely stated you wanted what you had paid for. No problems.

sonjadog · 22/02/2025 08:51

This is a non-event. He asked, you said no, he took his seat. End of story.

Coconutter24 · 22/02/2025 08:52

RabbitsEatPancakes · 22/02/2025 08:42

He was clearly on the wrong. He should have prebooked if he had special requirements.

If it was a last minute emergency flight then he should have at least offered to reimburse the cost of your seats if not offered that and to buy you a drink or something too.

He wasn’t really in the wrong, he asked a question which would make something easier for himself, OP said no (also not unreasonable), he took his seat and there were no bad feelings. Doesn’t sound like it escalated into a big drama where someone is right and the other is wrong.

ThisBlueDeer · 22/02/2025 08:54

Coconutter24 · 22/02/2025 08:52

He wasn’t really in the wrong, he asked a question which would make something easier for himself, OP said no (also not unreasonable), he took his seat and there were no bad feelings. Doesn’t sound like it escalated into a big drama where someone is right and the other is wrong.

If he knows he needs more space he can pay to choose his seat like the OP did? And the whole situation would have been avoided.

Blushingm · 22/02/2025 08:54

He asked

You said no

He sat in his allocated seat

What's the issue

Muchtoomuchtodo · 22/02/2025 08:55

I don’t see the problem.

You booked your seat, your were asked if you’d swap. You declined and got the seat that you’d booked. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Allwillbewell2 · 22/02/2025 08:56

Are you feeling guilty OP? If so we're you conditioned as a child "to put others first"? There is nothing to feel guilty about, and next time don't go into details, if you want, just say you have a hidden disability which requires an aisle seat that you booked - no reason anyone needs to know about your inner workings

Trickabrick · 22/02/2025 08:56

Blushingm · 22/02/2025 08:54

He asked

You said no

He sat in his allocated seat

What's the issue

The OP says that the stewardess got involved so it sounds a little more convoluted than you’ve suggested. Asking isn’t the problem, it’s your first answer not being accepted that would annoy me.

Blushingm · 22/02/2025 08:58

Trickabrick · 22/02/2025 08:56

The OP says that the stewardess got involved so it sounds a little more convoluted than you’ve suggested. Asking isn’t the problem, it’s your first answer not being accepted that would annoy me.

The stewardess could have just seen him standing there talking - during boarding if people do t sit straight down it causes a bottleneck so she may have just come over to see what was going on?🤷🏻‍♀️

YourFairCyanReader · 22/02/2025 08:58

Was it not difficult for the person in the middle seat though?