Plane seat upset

[Foodieasfuck]

We travelled back from holiday yesterday. I booked (and paid for) an aisle seat and a middle seat (as this is our preference) The flight was full so we knew that someone would be sat on the window seat. The man arrived after us and it was very obvious that he was going to really struggle to squeeze across 2 seats and into his seat. He was very, very overweight (no judgement, just stating the facts).
He asked us if we could please just move over so that he could sit on the end. It was a 4.5 hour flight and I had chosen the aisle seat so that I can get to the loo easily. (Weak bladder).
The stewardess got involved and also asked us if we could ‘just move over’. It was really embarrassing for all concerned but I stood my ground and politely refused. The man duly took the window seat but it took him a while to shuffle over. He hadn’t paid for a seat in advance, it was randomly allocated at check in. There was no bad feeling. He was a nice man. He needed the loo once during the flights and we happily let him out.

I don’t believe I was unreasonable as I’d paid for the seats but it’s left me feeling a bit bad for him. There isn’t much point in paying for seats if you can’t actually sit on them. Was I unreasonable?

Then you say “sorry I booked late, I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider moving” not “can’t you just move over”

I think the staff should have stepped in a bit earlier or at the seat allocation time.
A person with a visible disability would have gotten priority booking. Being obese to this extent is for all purposes a physical disability, we all pretend its not and are so afraid to say anything but the truth is this man was unable to function normally due to obesity, his difficulties getting into the seat prove this. The airline are supposed to accommodate people with needs but just ignored him. He should not have been left to figure this out himself, it was inevitable he was going to struggle with the seat and have to ask someone to move. Neither of you should have been put in this position

The OP stuck with her seat because that’s what she booked, paid for and needed. What’s wrong with that?

Why was the other passengers need greater than hers?

It's one of those Mumsnet specific rules that don't exist in the slightest in the real world. I live in Australia, on a long haul flight you won't find even one chair in upright position once the lights are dimmed.

I never understand this. The seats recline and there's nothing wrong with people using that function.

Seats are designed to recline. What's selfish about using that facility?
If everyone reclines their seats, all have same space.
I don't get why people get so upset about reclining seats! 🤷‍♀️

Re seats - all was settled without fuss so not an issue imho.
He asked you declined. No sweat.

Why ask him that, what difference would it have made, why he did not pay for an aisle seat? Would his answer have made any difference to whether you would have swapped or not?

I agree. I don't know why airlines allow it when it causes such stress. It is extremely uncomfortable for the person behind and is done without notice. I wouldn't mind if there was a set time of rest time where it was acceptable and predicted.

Someone one tried to recline into me while I had a toddler on my lap!

Yes, I agree with this. The people pleasing tendency can really make you feel guilty. You needed the aisle seat so you booked one. I’m sure that is all that people need to say - with a firm look at the air steward if necessary.

You wouldn’t be sleeping if you were sat behind me. I don’t want your seat in my face for 8 hours thanks.

@Dontlletmedownbruce

I think the staff should have stepped in a bit earlier or at the seat allocation time.

When exactly?

Unless the passenger declared they need extra room at the booking stage the staff at the airport are blind to the problem, potentially until as late as boarding.

By the time passengers get to boarding seat allocation is finalized.

Now there might almost literally be some wriggle room available on a flight with empty seats but if (don’t know the case here) it’s a full flight there’s not much that can be done…it’s either squeeze in or somebody gets offloaded.

I expect he was just too cheap to pay for the seat he needed and hoped someone would just budge up so he'd get it free. You'd paid for that seat for a reason, why should you give it up?

No. He asked, she said no, then the stewardess got involved so he obviously didn't take no for an answer and it got awkward, which it wouldn't have if the guy had booked the kind of seat he clearly needs instead of expecting others to change even though they've paid for it.

You had a hidden medical issue which is why you booked the seats you did and planned ahead. He had a medical issue of obesity and didn't plan ahead for his. You shohldn't feel bad. If you had to keeo asking him to get up as you need to go to the toilet then it would be inconvenient for him also. You have to pay you choose seats now and you paid and he did not.

It wasn’t their fault you were too tight to buy your child a seat, if you wanr plenty room for someone to sit on your knee you need to buy premium economy or business.

@notimagain it probably would be boarding stage before they can see the man. It depends of course on how the seats are already allocated but at worst this man should have been asked to board early so he could be helped get into positiion. I think it was unfair on the OP to be put into this position at all.

You wouldn’t be sleeping if you were sat behind me. I don’t want your seat in my face for 8 hours thanks.

If someone doesn't like a seat designed to recline being reclined on a long haul flight then they, not the person who wants some kip, should pay for bulkhead or business.

If they were sat behind you, why would you be turning round looking at them for eight hours?

YANBU. In the past I had quite bad anxiety about getting to the toilet on flights and because of that I always pre booked my seat to ensure I’d be in an aisle seat. This man knows his size, he obviously knows his preference and should have pre booked accordingly. Obviously if it was a last minute flight that’s a real shame for him but it doesn’t become your problem. I am a really nice person and if I can help someone out I will, but sometimes you cannot be left at the shittier end of the deal because of someone else… maybe it’s not his fault but it’s certainly not yours either.

Are you serious? You think business class should be full of toddlers? I can imagine the MN posts if this was the case

What nonsense. The OP paid for a seat for because she uses the bathroom a lot, so not to inconvenience others. Getting on a flight and asking others to move from seats they’ve paid for isn’t on. And airlines take advantage of people’s politeness to basically scam money out of them for a service they don’t get. This guy could have done the same and chose not to.

I fly a particular route fairly regularly. Often alone. I never pay to chose where to sit. As a single traveller I've offered to swap numerous times to make travelling easier for other people. It helps the crew and they tend to help you in return.

What exactly do you think happens to children when they enter business class? They don’t explode.

fine, but don't complain when they bump into the seat because they have no space to move.

Not at all