Plane seat upset

[Foodieasfuck]

We travelled back from holiday yesterday. I booked (and paid for) an aisle seat and a middle seat (as this is our preference) The flight was full so we knew that someone would be sat on the window seat. The man arrived after us and it was very obvious that he was going to really struggle to squeeze across 2 seats and into his seat. He was very, very overweight (no judgement, just stating the facts).
He asked us if we could please just move over so that he could sit on the end. It was a 4.5 hour flight and I had chosen the aisle seat so that I can get to the loo easily. (Weak bladder).
The stewardess got involved and also asked us if we could ‘just move over’. It was really embarrassing for all concerned but I stood my ground and politely refused. The man duly took the window seat but it took him a while to shuffle over. He hadn’t paid for a seat in advance, it was randomly allocated at check in. There was no bad feeling. He was a nice man. He needed the loo once during the flights and we happily let him out.

I don’t believe I was unreasonable as I’d paid for the seats but it’s left me feeling a bit bad for him. There isn’t much point in paying for seats if you can’t actually sit on them. Was I unreasonable?

I've had the seat in front recline when I had a one year old on my lap as well. It was a daytime flight and was instantly insanely uncomfortable for us. I'd understand if it was to sleep but they were just chilling out watching a film. My parents taught me to recline for the night/ sleep flights when the lights are dimmed only. Doing it at other times makes it hard for the person in front to do anything on their table, and honestly why is it so important you have that extra space for your head anyway? People have a very me first mentality though. Easyjet seats don't have a recline function which is AMAZING, so I ended up changing to them where I could for my baby on lap flights.

Yes, I havev4 children. Never let them just kick a seat that someone was sitting in either.
Plus a 2 year old would have their own seat by law.

Yes I get that. But allowing a child to kicks someone's seat for 2 hours. It's a dick move.

This really is the fault of the airlines. If you didn't have to pay to choose seats but could simply do so for free when booking, people would probably feel less entitled to seats they specifically paid extra for. Some would still want to keep their seats, but others would be more willing to help, and everyone would have the option of knowing their seats before hand and making appropriate arrangements for themselves within the limits of the remaining seats available - or be able to choose another flight if none of the available options suited their needs. The only ones losing out would be the airlines not being able to make extra money from the seat bookings. The airlines then want people to give up their pre-paid seats to save time, which in turn is also money. Neither OP or the other passenger are unreasonable - the airlines are.

Did you miss where I said I tried to stop it? Not sure how you’ve taken that to mean I allowed it for 2 hours…

Honestly, you’re not coming across as sanctimonious as you might think!

That may work on smaller short haul flights, but long haul when seating is usually 3-4-3, no one wants to be sat in the centre of the 4, so pay for aisles or windows

@Cantbebotheredwithausername

The only ones losing out would be the airlines not being able to make extra money from the seat bookings

It’s not really “extra”.

Even with seat selection charges in place many of popular airlines are making maybe £10-£20 profit, max, per average passenger over a season (you can get the general idea looking at some of the financial statements).

Take seat charge fees out and the airlines will drop into the red unless they claw back the revenue elsewhere in the booking process and/or by simply increasing the base ticket price for everybody right across the board.

You are dwelling on it because you are conditioned to be a people pleaser and put other people’s needs and comfort before your own. Do you think a man would still be thinking about this some hours later?

This bit stewardess shouldn't have tried to get you to move from your pre-booked seat.

Sorry but you are someone eith severe mental issues if you experience such a rage that someone has reclined a seat that is meant to be reclined that you decide to be so petty as to antagonise them for an entire flight, go and get therapy as you are a danger to the public.

Brilliant

you can't have it both ways.

You make the choice of making a dick move by reclining your seat knowing you squeeze the person behind, you can't then make a fuss that they end up kicking or pushing your seat because of the lack of space.

Simply crossing and uncrossing your legs in that tiny space means bumping a knee in your seat. But if you prefer reclining, go for it.

YANBU, however why did he need to squeeze past you to get to his seat? Why didn’t you get up and let him go through?

Thank you! (was going down a Google rabbit hole of fascinating acronyms! 🤦‍♀️ )

Clearly!

Pretty sure she meant it took him a while to get into the window seat without anyone else in the other seats.

Ok, I have thought about this some more, to clarify I am talking about long haul or luxury airline.
Short haul or budget airline, then you don't need to recline anyway so agree a bit of a dick move if you recline. But long haul, night flights and airlines with more room then I stand by my stance.
Obviously, ryan air london to dublin at 10.30am, then reclining is a dick move, agreed.
Flying Emirates to Singapore.. expect reclining!

Ryanair seats don't recline! (along with ultra low cost airlines like WizzAir and low cost airlines like EasyJet)

Ok well last time I flew Ryan air was 2010 so out of date example. But the point is still the same. I flew maybe 20 times last year for work and I just would never get rage about someone reclining in front of me. It's not that squashed. You can still cross your legs and the trays and entertainment are still flat. I actually flew easy jet to italy 2 weeks ago and the seats did recline. And I reclined mine. And so did everyone else 😂

You were fine.
A quiet word with the cabin crew about you having a medical condition is all that is required.
(I’ve rehearsed an answer for when I’m in a similar situation - “No - I’m happy with the seat I have booked - thanks”). Even when I haven’t booked it.

A good long lost male friend, with a huge frame always booked himself and paid for 2 seats for this same reason. People would still try and “occupy” one of his seats. He had to say - what are you doing? / you can have 2 seats yourself but you have to book and pay for them - and I have paid for this.

He should have paid for his seat too if he had issues

There is absolutely no need to have a quiet word about a medical condition! If you are in your assigned seat - whether or not you paid to reserve it - and you don't want to move, all you have to say is "sorry, no, this is my seat and I don't want to move".

Totally, he knew he was overweight but did not want to pay, it is very selfish, these people rely on others being to embarrassed to complain and you need to stand your ground every time, teach them a lesson