Should I tell my DP that I know he is lying

[JadeMember]

So my DP (46) does a cold lake swimming with a group of women. He is the only man and ladies are in the range of 40-70yrs. He got into the group through the lady he met through my son’s sport. I never met her as I’m at the different sport with my DD. So my DP called me today when I was at work and told me that the group is going to a charity event in the evening and someone pulled out, they need someone to fill the space, and if I would mind if he goes with them. I really don’t care tbh as my DC are with their dad tonight and I’m just happy having a me time. So my DP just send me a photos from the event and it’s not a charity event! It’s a silent disco😂. I googled the location and the name of the event that was on the banners in the photo. I don’t know why he lied. He doesn’t go out a lot and I don’t mind when he does go out. We don’t live in ‘each other’s pockets’ and are independent with our interests so I don’t understand why he lied. I don’t know if I should just leave it because I’m not really that worried or should I actually be worried about it and question it when he gets home?

Lol

You need to start to love yourself, hope you and your teens are fairing ok xx

I know I'm sorry I'm a donut. Lol. What a rotter he is!!

I've learned that after reading this thread 😳

Sooo… did you get to speak to the professor?

I don't get it.. He is the only male going out with a group of women and they needed someone to fill the space so why couldn't they ask another woman to join them. Why does he have to go? And it turns out that it's a silent disco.

This don't sound right at all.. Why would he agree to go out to a silent disco with a group of women when he's the only male?????

Who are all these people that have come onto the thread to reply to op's first post from a month ago?

RTFT

The thread's trending, so a lot of new people have seen it for the first time today.

Fair enough, but surely they should read it before posting a comment 😂

No I would only see her on Saturday. Our children play sport together. My ex use to take my DS there before and that’s how they met.

@JadeMember you are amazing. Look after yourself and your kids. Stepdad is awesome. You’re going to be so much better off without your cheating ex. 💐

Sorry Serena... I just saw the post... I didnt even stop to see the date it was posted..

Anyway., I wanted to add that some women may know a man is married but will still try anyway.. This guy is spending way too much time with this woman.. Its very disrespectful to his wife.. If the lady in question needs company to go to Costco or France she should ask one of her friends to go with her not a married man..

I'm married and I would never be going shopping or anywhere else with some guy other than my husband..

It sounds like their finding excuses to spend time together or thy're having an affair and if thy're not, it's likely they will, eventually because spending too much time outside of our marriage with someone who is not our marriage mate is asking for trouble and is very disrespectful.

Oh, I know that I've been guilty of just jumping in at times.

@User452023

FGS at least read all the OP's posts.

I'll save you the trouble - the husband was having an affair with a different woman, was planning to leave the OP, and has already moved out.

The professor was a red herring - things have moved on...

@JadeMember perhaps the professor is one of a number of women he’s been flirting with? Her comment about you ‘feeling threatened’ would be strange taken in isolation - but given their little outings, maybe something brewing/she had hopes?

Thank you. I’m thinking back about the stuff he has done in the past. Before this post I have never suspected him of cheating. But there are other things he has done and I never told anyone because I knew what my friends would say. And now I am wondering how did I let someone treat me like that and I let him get away with it. He would always pull the mental health issues card and then we stop talking about what he has done and talk about how I am not supporting him enough

I don't know that I'd apologise to the Professor... I would let her know that he has moved in with his OW, in case he was having an affair with them both though.

It very well could be. She invited him to swimming/ MH support group and then started inviting him to more and more outings. So I will probably never find what really happened but anything I did see was innocent. Unlike the OW

Jeez I have spent a few midnights of the soul wondering HOW I ever put up with some of the stuff I put up with an ex. It's probably for a complex range of reasons: shame, as you mention, wanting it to work; fell in love at the beginning and keep hoping he'll revert to the man you once believed him to be; can't be arsed to start again..the list goes on

This is exactly was I was thinking as I read through this whole thread.

he is an opportunist, clearly. He knew how easy it was to cheat on you. I wouldn’t consider the professor to be so innocent in this

That wouldn't surprise me, what's the saying about "when the mistress becomes the "wife" she creates an opening". I wouldn't be suprised if he's keeping his options open to monkey branch to the next unsuspecting victim.

Would also explain why the ex is terrified OP shares the texts. I wouldn't be subtle when you meet up with the professor OP. Although be prepared to be painted as the crazy ex if you decide not to show her proof. Xx

I really wonder if he was using the swimming group to scope out a range of options, including the actual ow and the professor, and the ow just got things going first. He clearly wanted to move straight from you onto someone new, OP. He sounds dreadful.

Yup, tell the professor the fuck in the arse comment.