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Original poster

Should I tell my DP that I know he is lying

1000 replies

JadeMember · 21/02/2025 22:21

So my DP (46) does a cold lake swimming with a group of women. He is the only man and ladies are in the range of 40-70yrs. He got into the group through the lady he met through my son’s sport. I never met her as I’m at the different sport with my DD. So my DP called me today when I was at work and told me that the group is going to a charity event in the evening and someone pulled out, they need someone to fill the space, and if I would mind if he goes with them. I really don’t care tbh as my DC are with their dad tonight and I’m just happy having a me time. So my DP just send me a photos from the event and it’s not a charity event! It’s a silent disco😂. I googled the location and the name of the event that was on the banners in the photo. I don’t know why he lied. He doesn’t go out a lot and I don’t mind when he does go out. We don’t live in ‘each other’s pockets’ and are independent with our interests so I don’t understand why he lied. I don’t know if I should just leave it because I’m not really that worried or should I actually be worried about it and question it when he gets home?

OP posts:
Redshoeblueshoe · 18/03/2025 12:03

Sit - is going to make me giggle all day. Well done step-dad

Tgfh · 18/03/2025 12:05

What a dad you have in him👏👏👏

WeAreOnTheRoadToNowhere · 18/03/2025 12:06

WTF is wrong with posters who can't even be bothered to read the OPs posts
Top Tip: if you can't read the OPs highlighted posts don't bother to comment
Fantastic update OP.

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2025 12:10

WillIEverBeOk · 01/03/2025 23:34

Well played! 😆👏

Show quote history

Aye. I would normally think that the 'not a bikini model' comment was a bit unkind, but after the OW making the 'I hope you're not threatened' remark, the gloves had to come off.

Well done, OP.

Wilfrida1 · 18/03/2025 12:10

I heart your stepdad.

I hope ex now goes walkies .....

Getupat8amnow · 18/03/2025 12:13

OP, your step dad is wonderful. I’m so glad your ex is out of your house. Best wishes to you from me.

Original poster
JadeMember · 18/03/2025 12:14

Redshoeblueshoe · 18/03/2025 12:03

Sit - is going to make me giggle all day. Well done step-dad

It made me laugh too! And he actually sat😂. And for everyone who is asking, he did take the dog. Children will miss the dog but they will get use to it. The dog hair in the house drove me crazy and I was obviously the only one hoovering and cleaning. My stepdad didn’t book return ticket yet so he will stay as long as I need so we can get the house sorted

OP posts:
Gonnaenoe · 18/03/2025 12:17

JadeMember · 18/03/2025 12:14

It made me laugh too! And he actually sat😂. And for everyone who is asking, he did take the dog. Children will miss the dog but they will get use to it. The dog hair in the house drove me crazy and I was obviously the only one hoovering and cleaning. My stepdad didn’t book return ticket yet so he will stay as long as I need so we can get the house sorted

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I wonder how he’s going to cope with the dog, what with no one to walk them and care for them when he’s off galavanting

ScribblingPixie · 18/03/2025 12:18

JadeMember · 18/03/2025 11:17

I just spoke to my stepdad. My ex came just after 9am. My stepdad was waiting and when my ex got to the front door my stepdad opened it. My ex started saying something but my stepdad doesn’t speak English and only knows a few words. So he pointed at my ex and he wanted to say ‘wait’ but instead he said ‘sit’. He then closed the door and went to get suitcases. When he opened the door again, my ex actually sat on the front step. My stepdad put suitcases outside and then went inside again and started bringing all of the office equipment. My ex tried to say something through the Google translate app but my dad ignored it. When everything was out my dad went inside and lock the door. Only annoying thing is that he forgot to ask for a key. We might get a locksmith to come out this week and change the locks. My ex tried to call me couple of times but I ignored it. So that’s done now!

Oh god, I love your stepdad. How brilliant to have a man like that in your corner.

Dragonsandcats · 18/03/2025 12:19

Well done to your stepdad! Onwards and upwards

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2025 12:19

Lyraloo · 14/03/2025 22:19

I’d say it definitely started before then! You don’t go from seeing someone for two weeks and applying for a mortgage after a week of cheating. Sadly it’s probably been going on for a while and the France woman was a decoy.

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He was enjoying the attention from other women..and I'm still fairly certain that the Prof was interested in him, given the 'threatened' remark. Who says that to someone's wife?

Grammarnut · 18/03/2025 12:20

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 18/03/2025 11:35

Read the OP’s full posts.
He has been cheating on her with a woman firm this group, she has the evidence, and he has left.

Show quote history

I did. She had not got as far as the affair when I wrote the post. Sorry.

Nowvoyager99 · 18/03/2025 12:24

Can you tell your stepdad he has an entire fan base on Mumsnet now? That shouldn’t be too hard to translate!

I agree block him. Is there anything else you need to communicate about at this stage?

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 18/03/2025 12:24

Your stepdad is wonderful. Isn’t it strange that your husband wasn’t particularly bothered with you when he was off doing what he was doing, but now he wants to call you?
I think when the dust has settled you are going to love life. It sounds like you have propped up this man for years.
Now he can compete in the Misery Olympics with his OW.
The professor? Thinking on it, she was out of order as well. Yes, perhaps apologise but don’t do more than that.
This is why women’s groups should stay as such.

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2025 12:26

Codlingmoths · 18/03/2025 07:24

Your stepdad sounds wonderful. I truly believe your life will be easier- no more caring for him, managing his emotions, days out with your kids without having to worry about the dog MAKE SURE HE TAKES THE DOG!
while this woman who isn’t well enough to work due to mental health issues will apparently be all the support he needs while he will have to support her too, and they can’t go away or out for the day without sorting something for the dog…

I would apologise to woman 1 though, say I’m so sorry for being so snappy and rude, I was so stressed about my relationship and I focused on the time he was spending with you as I didn’t know he was having an affair with <her name!! Tell her who it was!> anyway he’s moved out obviously and I think I’m better off but I am really sorry, you seem like a really interesting fun person and I was just jealous and upset, you didn’t deserve that.

bonus it gets the news out 😁

Honestly, I don't think that an apology is needed. Who in their right mind turns to another woman and says "I hope you don't feel threatened..."? The conceit of it!

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2025 12:28

RunLikeTheWild · 18/03/2025 09:54

Why is everyone suddenly feeling sorry for the "professor lady", I get that it turns out the do didn't choose her for an affair and op said what she said re bikini model, but this woman's behaviour still stands as looking like someone angling for the dp.

A few threads ago she was a potential ow inappropriately chasing a married/partnered man but now she's the wise professor?

Just because the dp is having an affair with a different woman it doesn't take away or change what was happening between dp and her.

Someone called it earlier on saying dp had infiltrated a woman only safe space, he's predatory under the guise of the poor man with MH problems.

This. The hockey match, etc...The comment... She clearly fancied her chances.

T4Tango · 18/03/2025 12:29

I hope the dog shits in his new home.

Good riddance.

Your stepdad sounds wonderful. Lucky you.

Onwards and upwards, and enjoy your liberated home.

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2025 12:31

JadeMember · 18/03/2025 11:17

I just spoke to my stepdad. My ex came just after 9am. My stepdad was waiting and when my ex got to the front door my stepdad opened it. My ex started saying something but my stepdad doesn’t speak English and only knows a few words. So he pointed at my ex and he wanted to say ‘wait’ but instead he said ‘sit’. He then closed the door and went to get suitcases. When he opened the door again, my ex actually sat on the front step. My stepdad put suitcases outside and then went inside again and started bringing all of the office equipment. My ex tried to say something through the Google translate app but my dad ignored it. When everything was out my dad went inside and lock the door. Only annoying thing is that he forgot to ask for a key. We might get a locksmith to come out this week and change the locks. My ex tried to call me couple of times but I ignored it. So that’s done now!

I love your stepdad. That is all.

gottakeeponmoving · 18/03/2025 12:34

Your stepdad is a legend.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
He clearly hasn’t thought the dog situation through though - who will mind his dog while he is off travelling with all his women?

DollieBantrysPantry · 18/03/2025 12:34

“Sit” is just fabulous and too the fact your stepdad is staying with you for the foreseeable. Well done to you both, good riddance to bad rubbish!

DollieBantrysPantry · 18/03/2025 12:36

we had exactly the same thought gottakeeponmoving 😊

gottakeeponmoving · 18/03/2025 12:37

DollieBantrysPantry · 18/03/2025 12:36

we had exactly the same thought gottakeeponmoving 😊

Ha yes, that’s one for the woo thread!

Manxexile · 18/03/2025 12:44

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 22/02/2025 09:35

Agree, you'll be told to LTB before long OP.
Some people seem to hate men more than they love happy marriages.

Anything a man does is wrong in their eyes and they'll split hairs to make you throw him out.

There's never a genuine misunderstanding, just men =wrong.

If you'd come on here as a man, saying the exact same, you'd be called controlling, spying, don't deserve her, she can fo better etc. All over an innocent mistake.

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Edited: Quoted wrong post!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 18/03/2025 12:47

Manxexile · 18/03/2025 12:44

Edited: Quoted wrong post!

Edited
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Yet another couple who haven’t read all the OP’s posts. At least I suppose not, or their interpretation of events is very different from my own.
Go, @JadeMember’s step-dad!

NiceoneSonny · 18/03/2025 12:48

Manxexile · 18/03/2025 12:44

Edited: Quoted wrong post!

Edited
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You didn't bother to RTFT. The partner IS having an affair. .

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