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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WFH- partner came over unannounced

559 replies

Inchacha · 21/02/2025 14:56

I mainly WFH. I was in a video call meeting earlier when DP arrived at my house unannounced (we don’t live together). He was unwell yesterday and I know he is really worried about his health, I made my excuses from my call for a few mins whilst I said hello to and made him a cup of tea, checked how he was feeling and apologised that I couldn’t take more time out of my meeting (sometimes when he pops over unannounced I might be able to grab 15 mins but not always). I rejoined my call.

DP then interrupted me after 20 mins or so by coming into my office, made stupid noises and laughed when I muted my call and asked him to keep it down. I was really embarrassed. He left but 20 mins later came back and said he was going and it was clear he was pretty cross that I hadn’t made more effort to fuss round him.

I understand that he is scared about his health and wanted more support than I gave him. But AIBU to think that I shouldn’t have just dropped everything? I know that when I call him in a minute he’ll say something along the lines of “as your partner I should take priority over work” or something like that and it will be the start of a reason to be cross with me.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 23/02/2025 14:07

He did look for her keys and she said he appeared pissed that she had taken them out of the lock box so he was planning to enter the house.

When she drove away from his house, she also said he ran out and tried to get in the driver's door.

That's "fuss".

Nanny0gg · 23/02/2025 14:09

Loveperiod · 22/02/2025 19:36

I find weird. I understand about boundaries and all that however it’s crazy to me. Firstly having a partner u should be able to be happy when u call on each other unexpectedly hence partner it’s not that deep. Of course while on a call can be tricky it can be managed. The face u have accommodated means ur relationship as far as that is concerned is okay but was not ok this time coz this time not so keen(according to yr explanation). I am not surprised relationships don’t work nowadays as too many ground rules instead of just enjoying what each brings or be on your own. Some things when I read it sounds exhausting frankly

Whut??

Inertia · 23/02/2025 14:26

Glad to see you’ve binned him.

He does sound pretty stalkerish- I would suggest that he is blocked from all of your children’s devices as well as your own.

VBL · 23/02/2025 16:05

Is he a toddler?

SeamsLegit · 23/02/2025 17:08

Did you have an uneventful weekend OP? No drunken phone calls? No hammering on the door?

Inchacha · 23/02/2025 18:05

Thanks for checking in- it has been a lovely and uneventful weekend. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I have just returned from a lovely boozy celebratory lunch with my friends. The boys have come home from their dads so I am three sheets to the wind in the excellent company of my favourite chaps.

No contact from my new ex boyfriend bar an email saying “Hope you’re ok xx” to which I have not replied.

The future feels very positive!

OP posts:
rainbow9713 · 23/02/2025 18:27

Aaaahhh have a lovely birthday tomorrow ❤️.

Nowvoyager99 · 23/02/2025 18:29

Hope you’re ok?

Yeah he thinks you’re ill and that’s the explanation for you standing up to him. Be on your guard tomorrow. I hope you have a great birthday with no intrusions!

ErrolTheDragon · 23/02/2025 18:41

Happy birthday for tomorrow!
Your ex BF may take this as an opportunity to either try to ingratiate himself or to spoil it - I'm sure you won't tolerate any such shenanigans.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/02/2025 19:03

Glad you've had a good weekend. Happy Birthday for tomorrow x

AcrossthePond55 · 23/02/2025 19:40

Happy Birthday!! Hope you have a blissful day tomorrow, full of peace and joy.

No contact from my new ex boyfriend bar an email saying “Hope you’re ok xx” to which I have not replied.

Testing the waters. Ignore him.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 23/02/2025 21:33

Happy birthday for tomorrow!
Block the idiot-features ex on every platform and email, and make sure your kids do the same. Give him no bandwidth at all.

Codlingmoths · 23/02/2025 21:39

ForZanyAquaViewer · 22/02/2025 21:48

What do you do for a living?

Loveperiod probably does not have a job, since they clearly have no understanding of the concept.

CandyLeBonBon · 23/02/2025 21:39

Inchacha · 23/02/2025 18:05

Thanks for checking in- it has been a lovely and uneventful weekend. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I have just returned from a lovely boozy celebratory lunch with my friends. The boys have come home from their dads so I am three sheets to the wind in the excellent company of my favourite chaps.

No contact from my new ex boyfriend bar an email saying “Hope you’re ok xx” to which I have not replied.

The future feels very positive!

Oh your entire tone sounds so much more uplifted! Bloody good for you and a big fat happy birthday!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 24/02/2025 07:09

Happy Birthday OP! Onwards and upwards!

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 24/02/2025 07:29

Happy Birthday OP!!!

Dontbeme · 24/02/2025 08:24

Happy birthday OP 🎉 🎉 🎉
Hope you have a wonderful day

MinnieGirl · 24/02/2025 08:59

Happy birthday OP 🥳
Hope you have a wonderful day, you deserve it!

DollieBantrysPantry · 24/02/2025 09:04

Happy birthday OP 🎉🎉🎉

TinyTear · 24/02/2025 09:22

Even my children behave better when I am on calls

TinyTear · 24/02/2025 09:28

TinyTear · 24/02/2025 09:22

Even my children behave better when I am on calls

Was late to the thread and did that annoying thing of replying before reading the OP messages.

Well done OP and congrats on your new found freedom! Enjoy!

Ezkay · 24/02/2025 09:37

Codlingmoths · 23/02/2025 21:39

Loveperiod probably does not have a job, since they clearly have no understanding of the concept.

Better to let people think you're unnecessarily judgemental than to open your mouth and prove them right.

Errors · 24/02/2025 11:51

Inchacha · 23/02/2025 18:05

Thanks for checking in- it has been a lovely and uneventful weekend. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I have just returned from a lovely boozy celebratory lunch with my friends. The boys have come home from their dads so I am three sheets to the wind in the excellent company of my favourite chaps.

No contact from my new ex boyfriend bar an email saying “Hope you’re ok xx” to which I have not replied.

The future feels very positive!

Happy birthday OP! Onwards and upwards!

LardoBurrows · 24/02/2025 13:33

Happy Birthday Op,
Hope there is plenty of 🎂 and 🍾 and that you have a lovely day.

T1Dmama · 24/02/2025 15:54

Happy birthday 🎁