To feel so embarrassed after trip to dentist

[Mummabear04]

I went to the dentist today for a check up. My gums have been sensitive and I was a bit worried that I had a chip on my front tooth as it felt a bit sensitive at times and I could feel a difference in texture so wanted to get it checked out. My teeth have always been alright, I had some fillings as a kid but I do look after them and brush them twice a day, every day (at least!) I do drink a lot of black coffee and red wine so my teeth aren't pearly white but I never drink fizzy juice and I don't eat much sugar either (I have a pretty good diet on the whole).

Long story short is that the dentist seemed shocked about the state of my teeth. She even asked me if I brush them!!! I am still so embarrassed about it. She said I must be struggling to brush my back teeth, the sruface of my teeth seem corroded? and that I need four bloody fillings! I am so upset by this. I have 2 kids (under 5 years) and was not able to go to the dentist during post partum due to covid and then I had a difficult birth/recovery/looking after a baby and toddler so didn't go for post partum check ups as my teeth have always been OK. I have also developed asthma in the past 2 years and I swear my teeth feel weaker since using my inhalers (is this even a thing?)

Anyway the dentist was a gorgeous, blonde, slim European woman and I felt like an ogre after the appointment. I came home and burst into tears and cried for about half an hour straight. She did say to get an electric toothbrush (I've just ordered) and I've got some well woman max vitamins in the hope they will somehow help my oral health. AIBU to feel shocked that my teeth are in such bad condition? I feel awful about myself.

I’ve seen this mentioned a lot on this thread but my DH who I mentioned earlier (with the perfect teeth who has a sweet tooth and brushes for no longer than 30 seconds) also uses an asthma inhaler regularly, and has done since childhood.

I think there’s something in what a PP said about differences in saliva having an impact.

They’ve found that certain bacteria in the mouth can increase risk of heart disease. This British heart foundation article is interesting.
https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/research/gum-disease-heart-health

Oh dear. I have to say I didn’t know anyone still used manual toothbrushes. They’re so rubbish.

My dentist recommended Oral B as the best electric toothbrush but there's others that are good too.

Actually the research shows that for most people , with average dexterity , a manual toothbrush will do just as good a job as electric.

The difference may be that with timers etc people may use electric brushes for the correct amount of time (2 minutes) more so than manual . But both will do a good job if used effectively .

As also said many people with sensory issues find electric toothbrushes too uncomfortable to use.

It doesn't feel like they do. I have a normal toothbrush in my work travel bag and it's nowhere near as good or as easy to use as my electric toothbrush - in fact I have just upgraded my electric toothbrush so I think my old electric toothbrush will now go in my overnight travel bag for work and I can ditch the manual ones all together. Sensory issues I get.

For those with decreased dexterity like the elderly , those with arthritis or , possibly children (although adults should be brushing children’s teeth as well until they are at least 8) electric toothbrushes do a better job , for those with average dexterity a manual brush will do just as good a job , although it is technique sensitive https://parchmentstreet.co.uk/manual-vs-electric-which-toothbrush-is-best/

I always remember an old boss of mine telling me “you lose a tooth with every baby”, which I always just thought was an old wives’ tale. Turns out after having my youngest two, I needed fillings in one tooth each time, one that eventually needed root canal and extraction. I didn’t have anything after my eldest but I was only 20 then so that might have had something to do with it. I’ve still only got the one filling, so don’t underestimate what preganancy can do. Combine that with not having regular checks because of Covid and it’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

I’ve also heard something about inhalers so definitely rinse when you can after using them.

I had the most beautifully straight, pearly white teeth before having children! I was so proud of them. After having kids, they're a total mess, 4 actually fell out during my first pregnancy!!! They just crumble away now, as if they've never been taken care of, only, I took care of them very well! Hormones play a big part unfortunately. All you can do now is focus on trying to keep them as best as you can. I feel for you, I really do.

once the teeth are formed they are inert . The body cannot take calcium in or out of them . It is an old wives tale that was disproved in the 1940s.

What does cause a problem is vomiting and acid reflux , and changing eating patterns particularly after birth grazing and sipping on drinks so number of acid attacks from sugar is increased a day .

Inhalers have no effect on teeth but if you don’t rinse out after using then the medication stays on the back of the mouth and can cause thrush .

Maybe it was to do with the vomiting then! I had a LOT of morning sickness!

I loathe that Dentists make you feel shit about yourself. Like vets.

I don't stay with that kind of dentist.

I've always used a manual as I brushed too hard with an electric one and caused sensitivity. I've not been to a hygienist in about a decade because the dentist tells me I don't need to, since my oral health is so good. I have a checkup every year.

Nothing wrong with manual toothbrushes at all.

There’s a lot of evidence that shows manuals perform much more poorly. Maybe don’t brush so hard then?

No there isn’t , unless you look at research from vested interests.

If you have decreased dexterity ie elderly , arthritis, child (although adults should be brushing children’s teeth until they are 8 ) then electric toothbrushes will do a better job. But for those with average dexterity , using the right technique , then a manual brush will do just as good a job as electric .

I think this can be true but if you are a bit lazy like me i do think it can make a big difference

my hygienist didn’t know I had bought an iO brush because when she kept recommending them I was like “nahhh too expensive”
but I found one on offer after an appointment and when I next went she immediately said wow…my teeth had much less plaque build up and asked what I was doing / if I’d started using electric as they were looking soooo much better

i notice myself plaque build up is way less between apps and I can stretch to 6m now between visits. It’s 💯 down to the iO

My personal evidence refutes that. I do brush more gently when I'm not battling a heavy electric toothbrush.

FFS, not everything is a conspiracy.

@Mummabear04

You need to take a calcium plus vitamin D supplement, make sure you change your toothbrush every three months max, and you should buy and use a fluoride mouthwash at least nightly.

Your toothbrush should have soft bristles. Look up the best angle and technique for best results.

It can be very overwhelming to have to take care of so many people when you become a mother, and you can feel that nobody is looking out for you or supporting you at all. Then someone says something jarring about the state of your nails or teeth or hair, and you want to neck punch them, because it feels so unfair. And it is unfair - pregnancy and breastfeeding deplete your calcium and your energy and add stress, and asthma depletes your energy and adds stress while treatment adds chemicals that can have an effect on teeth.

This might be a good time to assess the level of support you need from your partner. Ask yourself if you feel free to do a good, solid two minutes of tooth brushing twice a day, to take care of your skin, hair, and nails, or whether you're constantly running around chasing your own tail, taking care of everyone else.

Calcium and vitamin d will make no difference to teeth . Once they are formed, they are formed. Calcium is not taken out of teeth by the body at any time other than when they are developing in the womb annd early childhood and you would have to be so calcium deficient that you develop rickets.

Of course anyone in the U.K. is advised by the NHS to take vitamin d in winter but it will have no effect on teeth.

Asthma treatments do not affect teeth , but inhaler medication can be deposited in the mouth and cause thrush.

The state of my gums have definitely improved since I started using an electric toothbrush. My dentist and hygienist tell me that once you're over a certain age and pregnancy and breastfeeding are no longer an issue, you need to look out for your gums more than your teeth. Many adults lose their taste for sweets and fizzy pop and are less susceptible to caries, but you start to lose bone mass, and the sockets around your teeth loosen. Keeping the gums nice and clean by brushing them as you work round your teeth and by using interdental brushes or floss controls any gum disease that's already there and reduces the chances of pocketing in the sockets as well as abscesses. When you hear the dentist say "1, 3, 2, 4" etc as they move round your mouth, that's the depth of pocket, eg, 1mm. The higher the number (I think it goes to 7) the worse the extent of peridontal disease in that spot. The smaller numbers indicate tighter, firmer gums. Your task is to get the numbers as low as you can, with your preferred tools for the job.

My husband and I have shared for years. There’s no reason not to.

I had an emergency appointment due to toothache, turned out I had broken the root. I was so embarrassed as I have faulty enamel so have a lot of destroyed teeth. He was so comforting and I wasn't told off.

I've shared with DH for years. We have our own brush heads with distinct bands, but share a handle. It's cheaper and makes things simpler as there is only one device to keep charged up. Electric toothbrushes aren't individual items as mobile phones are, so there's no need for everyone to have their own unless they have a strong preference. Oral B's range includes some with Disney characters which seem like a nice way to get children into a routine. I think I'd have hankered for the Frozen one when I was little, but as an adult, I just want something that does a good job for me.

I feel your pain as I had a similar situation with my gums. Something like 'OMG your gums are so diseased your teeth are going to fall out?! Are you a smoker?' (I wasn't by that point, not in many years, but I'd had two children and was super busy). It's not great to make you feel so ashamed. There is really no need. I moved dentists and I had some deep gum cleaning and committed to 2 x a day brushing with electric toothbrush, interdental brushes and regular trips to the hygienist and my teeth and gums improved a lot. Don't worry: not all is lost.

I felt like that after visiting the hygienist post partum. I had gone to the dentist while pregnant as my gums were inflamed and bled frequently. I used an electric toothbrush already at the point. My dentist just told me to go to the hygienist once baby was born. I did that and had 3 appointments being berated by the hygienist and told I couldnt brush my teeth. I used an electric brush, used the interdental brushed and even use the colour tablet things that show up plaque to help you brush.
Fast forward after moving I found it really difficult to get an appointment. 3 years later I go to the dentist. She cleans off the tartar that had built up and referred me for check up etc with the hygienist as she was concerned about gum disease. Both thay dentist and the hygienist are adamant that I clearly look after my teeth and brush correctly.
I've now come away feeling that some people will just never be happy 🤷‍♀️ All ypu can do is your best!