To feel so embarrassed after trip to dentist

[Mummabear04]

I went to the dentist today for a check up. My gums have been sensitive and I was a bit worried that I had a chip on my front tooth as it felt a bit sensitive at times and I could feel a difference in texture so wanted to get it checked out. My teeth have always been alright, I had some fillings as a kid but I do look after them and brush them twice a day, every day (at least!) I do drink a lot of black coffee and red wine so my teeth aren't pearly white but I never drink fizzy juice and I don't eat much sugar either (I have a pretty good diet on the whole).

Long story short is that the dentist seemed shocked about the state of my teeth. She even asked me if I brush them!!! I am still so embarrassed about it. She said I must be struggling to brush my back teeth, the sruface of my teeth seem corroded? and that I need four bloody fillings! I am so upset by this. I have 2 kids (under 5 years) and was not able to go to the dentist during post partum due to covid and then I had a difficult birth/recovery/looking after a baby and toddler so didn't go for post partum check ups as my teeth have always been OK. I have also developed asthma in the past 2 years and I swear my teeth feel weaker since using my inhalers (is this even a thing?)

Anyway the dentist was a gorgeous, blonde, slim European woman and I felt like an ogre after the appointment. I came home and burst into tears and cried for about half an hour straight. She did say to get an electric toothbrush (I've just ordered) and I've got some well woman max vitamins in the hope they will somehow help my oral health. AIBU to feel shocked that my teeth are in such bad condition? I feel awful about myself.

Agree with this!

I got pregnancy gingivitis on top of not being able to have any dental work I needed done when I found out I was pregnant, until after pregnancy (a couple of small fillings then turned into major major nightmare piece of work when I could be seen and have the anaesthetic etc about 10 months later).

It's definitely common that pregnancy can do a number on your teeth. The dentist really needs to develop a better bedside manner, that's her failing, not yours!

Do you floss? I saw this years ago and it stuck.

Just brushing and not flossing is like wiping your buttcheeks and not the crack

😳

Flossing and flossing with high fluoride toothpaste on the string help with my bleeding sensitive gums with 3 months. This was about 6 yrs ago I had the gum issue and my gum have been perfect since.

edit to say I no longer use the string but the interdental brushes

The reason pregnant and new mothers get free NHS dental care is because pregnancy and breastfeeding takes such a toll on your teeth. I think the saying used to be that women should expect to lose a tooth for each pregnancy. I think it’s one of those things that you have to just put yourself first for because prevention is far better (and cheaper) than treatment.

I couldn’t get an NHS dentist when I was pregnant with DD1. The private dentist I saw at the time was such an arrogant git when I told him I couldn’t have X-rays because I was pregnant. I was so glad when I finally managed to get on the books of a good NHS dentist.

We all have electric toothbrushes in our house. Oral B pro series are on offer at Boots at the moment (I just looked). I have asked several dentists about the correct order for brushing and flossing: wake up, brush first then breakfast (I leave at least half an hour between brushing and food) and then at night, floss then brush then bed. I don’t use mouthwash but if you do, then it needs to be at least an hour after brushing.

Have you tried interdental brushes? They’re much easier than floss and are more. effective , generally….

I think it’s wise to suggest to OP that she uses interdental brushes first , espeica
lymtp get gums back in health .

My mum was advised to use an electric toothbrush when her gums started receeding
And it worked. Her gums built back up again to where they should have been.

What toothbrush does she use?

I thought it as impossible to repair receding gums.

I go to the dentist and hygienist every 6 months, I still get told off, I am 64 and every single time I’m told “you are doing ok on this, but this needs attention”, I use both electric and normal toothbrushes, just to cover myself.

I’ve found various dentists & hygienists to be rude and unkind, one even told my child not to eat any fruit between meals, she didn’t mention sweets!

find a nice dentist they are out there.

I had one filling my whole life then during my second pregnancy I needed 4. It’s definitely a hormonal thing!

get the fillings and electric toothbrush and move forward and don’t worry about it. Like you say, other things are more important but if your teeth are now getting you down then spend some time prioritising them and you will feel better.

My teeth are in a bad way due to my inhaler even though I brush after taking them, but better to be able to breath than have perfect teeth

My husband was told a good few years ago that he would lose his teeth if he didn’t change his habits. I got him to cut out the sugar in coffee/tea (I told him he was just swilling sugary water around his teeth all day long) and he now religiously flosses every day and brushes well. I think his technique was rubbish because he was whizzing it around his mouth too much. So he takes more care now and has just lost one molar. I think his pockets have gone down from 7-8s to 2-3s or better.

if you feel your teeth aren’t actually that bad, see if you can get a second opinion. Years ago the dentist I’d had since childhood went private only so I went to a new dentist. DH and I went together and were both totally shocked. We were told we both needed extractions and several fillings and that our teeth were terrible (despite always having had regular checkups). We weren’t convinced so found another dentist and had another checkup - our teeth were FINE! Nearly 30 years later and our teeth are still fine! No extractions, no fillings! It isn’t unheard of for NHS dentists to do unnecessary work for the extra income (although I’d hope that most are honest).

They can be very blunt op. My own not great the gums not best. 2 extractions last year. Im using Sensodyne and better flossing. Fingers cross its helping. Wisdom out last aug. Endless list! Had a bad run it.

If you need four fillings then get them. I've got about 16 and each of my ten front top teeth is more than 50% composite. If they need doing then just accept it. Once you're dentally fit, you can go to the hygienist regularly and keep on top of the staining etc.
If you floss or tp each tooth twice a day, brush for about five minutes including tongue, and use chlorhexidine mouthwash then you can't really do much else. Some people's enamel is weaker and they're just unlucky.
Please don't worry though. It will be so much better once they're fixed.

This is why I’ve been trying to hype myself up to visit the dentist.

I haven’t been able to afford it for many years and it definitely took a toll - I brush and floss religiously but my teeth have never been the strongest to begin with. The last thing I want is to be told off like a child when I go in.

Re electric brushes: I love my Oral B Vitality, but there are other brands and other brushes in the Oral B (Braun) range. Whichever you get, make sure it comes with replacement brush heads so that your DP and DC can use it too. The sooner your little ones get into a routine with their dental care, the better their chances of avoiding the distressing experience you had with the Scary Tooth Fairy, not to mention the painful treatment many people spend their lives trying to avoid. These things just get worse if they're left. My Dad was terrified of dentists and stayed away for decades. Then he was diagnosed with a heart condition and told by a cardiologist that good dental care was essential, because of how quickly dental infections can travel to the heart. His teeth were by that time in a terrible state, but found a dentist and sat through hours of what must have been a disagreeable experience to get on top of the worst of it.

Re dentists: if yours is good and knows her stuff, think carefully before trying to find someone else. The UK has a severe shortage of dentists in many areas and some people struggle to find a private practitioner to take them on, let alone NHS care. I've been with my current dentist since he was newly qualified and would hate to part with him. I know he's good, because he's not done anything that needs rectifying.

Most of all, remind yourself that much of what's gone wrong isn't your fault. You didn't cause the problems caused by covid and the shortages in dental care and you can't be blamed for the effects of your asthma medication and your pregnancies. You might have an overcrowded mouth with lots of overlapping teeth, making the surfaces hard to get at. That isn't your doing either. All the best with your dental treatment.

Some of it isn’t I agree, I make plaque like mad, have to really keep on top of it , hygienist every three months , I can chip it off my back teeth ,whereas my husband never has any. But suppose it’s about knowing that if you do get something wrong you did your best to avoid it.

I’d actually go to another dentist for a second opinion. I’ve been to my local NHS dentist a few times and been told my teeth are in a bad state and surprise surprise they then recommend a various costly treatments. I’ve been going to a private dentist for a few years now who never had a judgemental thing to say about my teeth and beyond a couple of fillings and a (surprisingly gentle) root canal I’ve felt really positive about it all.

So you haven't seen a dentist in 5yrs and are still using a hand help brush? Is that correct? Please tell me the kids have electric tooth brushes?

Well done for going to the dentist. Have you seen her before? She sounds a bit abrupt, but if your last check up really was 5yrs ago, plus 2 pregnancies, then they aren't going to be great. You could always ask to see a different dentist at your practice if you didn't like her.

As others have said, interdental brushes are great and they sell them in lidl and other supermarkets. A water pik is even better. Watch youtube videos on how to brush and use floss/interdental brushes properly. Things will slowly improve.

I agree with this- my teeth are falling apart and I look after them. I know people who drink fizzy drinks all day everyday and don't look after them and they have good teeth- there's definitely other elements.

I was told when I was about 11/12 that I had an issue with my enamel but I have no idea what and no dentists since have mentioned it.

There was an old saying that a woman less one tooth for every child which is why I assume pregnant women get free dental care..I clean and floss but always get told by my dentist that I need to see the hygienist. The dentist used to deliver a quick scale and polish as part of checkup. Don’t beat yourself up. You can use disclosure tablets..a couple of pounds per packet from boots etc, to show any remaining plaque after you’ve cleaned.

I’ve had asthma for 20+ years and only found out on a recent trip to the hygienist that my inhalers have been impacting my oral health. Neither my asthma nurse nor my dentist had said anything about it. On the hygienist’s advice I now use a spacer with my inhalers. Worth a try?

Absolutely agree. Get a second opinion as you may find it’s very different. Private dentistry is not well regulated.

Do you use a spacer device with your inhaler [assuming it's the type that can work with one] as that can also protect your teeth as well as getting more medication into your body.

I agree with trying to get a second opinion although I know it's not easy these days.

I was once told by a dentist that I needed several fillings which shocked & upset me. I went to a different dentist who told me I didn't actually need any (!) but did recommend an old filling from childhood was replaced.

Unless you know this dentist and trust them it might be worth having an appointment elsewhere.

Don’t be embarrassed- you went and got seen. Having children does mess with your teeth and if you don’t have one get a spacer for your inhaler as they definitely mess up teeth. Perhaps ask to see another dentist at the practice. No one should made to feel so upset.

Brushing your teeth is good, however the health of a tooth is affected by diet.

When I say diet, I'm not referring to sugar here, I mean that teeth need vitamins and minerals to be healthy.