Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

"With best wishes for a speedy recovery"

Wishing you the retirement you deserve.

Why would anyone want to be so petty and juvenile? Just write your name, OP.
And, let's face it, none of us ever reads these all-office cards, do we?

This thread has been fun to read. However, I feel like this is the kind of thing that can backfire so careful there. Also, I don't like joking with people I truly dislike, even if it's a jokey put-down. So I'd just quietly not sign it at all.

Spell his name wrong

'My sadness at the news of your retirement knows no beginning.'

Perfect!

Just write a really nice message and spell their name wrong.

I hope you enjoy your retirement as much as i’ve enjoyed working with you.

This.

Never provide anyone with written ammunition to form an opinion of you, especially at work.

That is true, I remember one job where we went for drinks and I accidently left the office card on my desk, but handed my pass to security on the way out so never went back for it.

I like the wonderfully pass-agg MNHQ sign-off: "Go well".

LOVE this! 😂Or: "I can't tell you how much I'll miss you" (because you can't! 😉😂 )

I'd just sign and leave it...you keep your dignity and he has gone....

Just sign your name. That way, he knows you have acknowledged the card but not given in to the temptation to say something you don't mean (insincere) or something with a double meaning (sarcastic). Maintain the moral high ground!

Snap!

Happy retirement. Feel free to plagiarise this message

I agree with this- says more than a thousand words.

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
you're leaving,
great news for the few

I think everyone has given it more headspace than he will!

Isn't it likely to be a cursory glance before he bins it?

Will he desperately scouring it to see if/what Op has written?

Sounds as if you have a shit manager though.

I wouldn't give him a minute of my thought again - don't sign it. Move forward.

'Tatty bye' 👋

I always think 'Go well' is a good one. It's a little bit passive aggressive and really means fuck off and don't let the door get you on the way out.

Or write a different name entirely 🤣

I might say- may the world away from work treat you as well as you treated those within it!