Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

Either don't bother or just stick a picture of an old fashioned gas light on it!

Wishing you all the best in your retirement! The office simply won’t be the same without you truly the end of an era!

“It’s been emotional” 🤣🤣🤣

yeah you're right

It's moderated, though, by the final line "Fuck off and die"! 😂

I had a similar experience quite a few years ago, and I managed to get away without signing the card at all. If you feel you've got to, just sign your name. And breathe a HUGE sigh of relief.

''Where's the cake?''i

Get Well Soon

I think I did something similar for my work enemy, I also made sure I wrote it in the middle of the card, not squeezed into a corner. I did however contribute to the leaving present, I think I found a 10p in the bottom of my handbag. She was an absolutely evil person btw, made colleagues , parents and children’s lives a misery for years.

Here’s another: I can’t say how much you will be missed .

Or get someone to sign it for you

pp HettyCletter

I can’t say how much you will be missed, but you will surely never be forgotten. I hope you get the retirement you deserve.

I’ve been in this situation so you have my empathy and understanding. You sit there wondering why the hell the rest of the team can’t see him for what he is! I know, and I get it.
However, I would keep it simple with, “All the best for your retirement, from Jennifer”, because given that other people really like him, you putting obvious sarcasm on the card won’t earn you any brownie points going forward, and this is a chance for a fresh start when he’s gone.
Build your workplace relationships, because having a bee in your bonnet about him is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.
Let it go, it’s your chance to finally be at ease in the workplace.

This!!! Please write this in the card!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣🤣

If you can get a leaky pen that blobs the card a bit, then write something very bland. 😉

That is genius.

I am so sad out affair is coming to an end. I will miss being your work wife and will particularly miss the annual Christmas knee trembler at the photocopier.

Keep fit and active Frank, too many people retire and die within a year! All the best! 🤣🤣🤣

My favourite!

I just wouldn’t sign it.

If you sign with something nice then people (including him) will think that you genuinely like him and I don’t know why you would want that.

If you don’t want to not sign it then just put “all the best. Name” and that’s it.

This!! He'll know exactly what you really mean but would seem innocuous to others.

Hopefully your retirement will be short? (Too far?)

I'd probably draw an anonymous cock and balls. But I'm a grudge holder.

😂😂

This is hilarious and really rude in such a passive aggressive way.

Like you’re so unbothered about him that you didn’t even bother reading what the card was about 😂

This is perfect!

A colleague once left and didn’t get along with one of the team and they wrote, regards Steve. It made me chuckle alongside all the nice messages.