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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

476 replies

WorkRelatedName · 20/02/2025 14:13

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

OP posts:
KeepYaHeadUp · 02/03/2025 15:49

SBHon · 20/02/2025 14:26

Write “Happy Birthday”.

Brilliant!

Knowlewoman · 10/03/2025 14:24

If you can't avoid signing it by someone reminding you, suggest you just sign your name in a corner. It's tempting to be petty, spiteful, or ambiguous in your wishes, but it either won't land as you'd wish, or - more worryingly - you'll be pulled up for it. Don't let him affect your career from beyond retirement. Sending you gentle hugs.

lilacmamacat · 11/03/2025 08:35

Knowlewoman · 10/03/2025 14:24

If you can't avoid signing it by someone reminding you, suggest you just sign your name in a corner. It's tempting to be petty, spiteful, or ambiguous in your wishes, but it either won't land as you'd wish, or - more worryingly - you'll be pulled up for it. Don't let him affect your career from beyond retirement. Sending you gentle hugs.

I think if it was me and someone reminded me to sign, I'd just say no thanks, I don't want to. Don't have to explain it.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 11/03/2025 08:44

lilacmamacat · 11/03/2025 08:35

I think if it was me and someone reminded me to sign, I'd just say no thanks, I don't want to. Don't have to explain it.

This

its not compulsory to sign a card

Smallsalt · 11/03/2025 09:31

Hope you enjoy your retirement as much as I will.

lilacmamacat · 11/03/2025 09:42

vivazeboo · 24/02/2025 19:40

I would do 'How will we cope without you' with just your first initial to sign...anyone with half a brain will see the passive aggression there..but on the surface it seems nice enough...sorry you had to deal with that A hole...I'll wager you arent the only one to feel this way though...bet it'll all come out after they've gone!

You could misspell the will to 'how well we cope without you'.

GreenCandleWax · 18/07/2025 22:30

It won't be the same when you are not here.

gradygals · 18/07/2025 23:05

"It's a pleasure to see you depart"

Daygloboo · 18/07/2025 23:52

GoldMoon · 20/02/2025 14:19

Don't write any message , just sign your name , for me that says he doesn't warrant any message and he's inconsequential .

Yes.

Bestfootforward11 · 19/07/2025 13:52

Work won’t be the same without you! Hoping retirement brings you all that you deserve and more.

Laura95167 · 19/07/2025 22:02

I wish you the retirement you deserve

Arlanymor · 20/07/2025 10:07

Why is this zombie thread resurrected from March?

SuburbanSprawl · 20/07/2025 10:44

I'd get his name wrong. So, if he's called Martin, I'd write...

"We'll miss you, Malcolm."

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 20/11/2025 18:29

FriendlyEeyore · 20/02/2025 15:00

I’d rise above it. Things like this can backfire and make you look like the problem all along.

More importantly do you really think he’s going to look back and care what you write on a leaving card when he’s enjoying his retirement?


This.
I would not sign or donate.

Arlanymor · 20/11/2025 20:26

Arlanymor · 20/07/2025 10:07

Why is this zombie thread resurrected from March?

And again in November!

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 20/11/2025 20:27

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LEAVING 🙂

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 20/11/2025 20:28

"Get well soon"

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 20/11/2025 20:49

Bob, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal. Workrelatedname.

DeepRubySwan · 20/11/2025 20:59

Just write
Regards, (name)

Mrstawnyowl · 20/11/2025 21:09

See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.

Mrstawnyowl · 20/11/2025 21:11

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 20/11/2025 20:49

Bob, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal. Workrelatedname.

Calm down Rachel! Go and have “a break” 😂

Turnitoffnonagain · 20/11/2025 21:11

Missing you already,.......

browser2025 · 20/11/2025 21:19

Send something completely unexpected that’ll make him squirm a bit like, “You were always my favourite. I’m really going to miss our lunch dates and those little break-time chats. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

browser2025 · 20/11/2025 21:20

With a load of kisses. And a love heart. And a winking smiley face

NormasArse · 20/11/2025 21:40

Sign it with Cheers, and your initials.

That really gives a disinterested vibe.