Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

‘Sorry you couldn’t make the party, we raised a glass to you’

Years ago, when I was a teenager, my friend moved schools. She showed me her final report card from the school she left, which ended 'ToWhit'sFriend goes with our best wishes' We noted that this could be interpreted in more than one way! Maybe you could sign EvilBoss' card with 'You go with our best wishes'!

I am so thrilled that you are retiring.
NAME

Perfect. Everyone will read your comments or make you look bad. He’s going yiur life is going ti be better don’t over think it but do think F off when you write it !

To Bob.
It's not going to be the same without you.....

“Hooray!!! Now you can enjoy your own company, congratulations!” (because no one else did)

What was it?

Oh, you want me to scroll back searching for it??

I'd put, Happy Retirement, I'm sure you will missed by a lot of people.
(Meaning but not by me, I'm glad your going)

Any time this sort of thing happens to me, I’ve written “wishing you the success you so richly deserve”. They read this as “lots”, I mean “none”.

I would think about saying "wishing you all the happiness / luck / success you deserve" but in reality I would probably put something very neutral or formal followed by the way I write my name in official letters - so if the your full name is Susan Jane Bloggs and you are known as Sue Bloggs I would sign as Susan J. Bloggs or S. J. Bloggs, maybe putting kind regards or best wishes before it, maybe not. Polite, formal but not friendly and not rude either.

Not signing it is also a good choice unless people will kepp bugging you to sign it and you don't want to deal with that.

I like
“All the best
Name”
no punctuation, nothing. No effort, sounds insincere and passive aggressive. I would cringe receiving that. But I’m quite understated and sensitive lol

I would simply put

’so long, and thanks for all the fish’

I would say “I hope you get everything you deserve during your retirement. Best wishes xxx”

I would write some nonsense, then tippex over it - quite obviously and then something incredibly bland - "Bye bye - workrelatedname etc." if anyone asks, just say you wrote happy birthday by mistake. He will always wonder what the real message was and never know, or he might get to hear you wrote happy birthday - both will needle him!

Put a big smiley face and then sign your name

Just sign it with your initial and surname.

Loving the 'Happy Birthday!' suggestion.
How old is he? I'd take it one further and write 'Happy 70th birthday!' if he's in his 60s, of Happy 80th if he's in his 70's 😆

Don’t sign at all. Guaranteed he’ll notice your name is missing and be discombobulated. He’s gone, it’s over.

Have a nice life.

Regards,

“Into the abyss of thy mercy’s depths we cast the body of our brother XXX, commending his soul into thy hands; through the Department for Work and Pensions.”

(No signature required)

I can’t help but I did once write in someone’s card.

pleased you’re retiring. Can’t believe you lasted this long.

I worked at the same place as my mum. We thought it was hilarious but it did raise some eyebrows. Good luck !

Don’t bother signing no one goes round crossing off names do they?

How about "Burbye"? 😁😁