Delivery man using toilet

[Fountofwisdom]

I admit I am a bit of a clean freak at best of times. Can’t bear people wearing shoes inside etc. But really don’t like workmen, etc using my bathroom.

A delivery driver arrived earlier with some kitchen appliances, just delivering, not installing. He asked to use the bathroom and I immediately wanted to say no, as I HATE strangers in my bathroom. But didn’t feel I could refuse.

So he was in bathroom for a minute or so and went on his way. I went in to clean the toilet as I always would, and not only had he used it, but he left a big black pubic hair on the toilet seat 🤮🤮 Absolutely revolting.

Have spent 5 minutes deep cleaning and disinfecting toilet and have put the hand towel in wash because I’m so disgusted.

AIBU to refuse access to my bathroom in future? Or am I over-reacting?

i will have builders in for 2 weeks shortly and obviously they will want to use the bathroom, which I’m not delighted about but can’t be helped. Means I’ll have to clean the toilet every day, but I can’t refuse them using it.

But random delivery men - would you refuse? And what would you say?

Threads evolve. The ops boundaries are absolutely valid and not to be judged but adding to that safety is of course something we should be aware of. Some people need to of course think of the risks.

Yoy wouldn't invite any stranger in so just becaue they have a parcel shouldn't make any difference.

Surely all tradesmen are 'strangers'? I wouldn't particularly expect a delivery driver to want to use my toilet (it has never ever happened) but a tradesmen... that's fine

Threads also change when the narrative is YABU 🤷‍♀️

Well yes. But someone dropping something at your door isn't someone who has been in your house for hours already doing work.

Loads of people have agreed nope strangers on your doorstep don't get to come in and use private spaces.

Which OP didn’t, she accepted the delivery driver coming in

She didn't want to though. She was canvassing opinions. I and others have said her boundaries are valid and add into that safety concerns and next time just say no there's a MacDs down the street.

But it was all about hygiene, not about safety. it was also an issue with the builders booked, then that changed.

You’re so blinkered. Or just trying to make OP right?

I wouldn't have let him in because I wouldn't let a strange man into my house when I'm on my own. Would have no problem with a woman though.
I have offered water and some biscuits in the summer though when some of the delivery men looked absolutely exhausted.
Of course tradesman can use my toilet they are not more dirty than any guests I have. I always offer drinks and biscuits too, that's just basic manners.

Also people who hover offer toilet seats are disgusting and expect everyone else to clean up the pee they spray everywhere.

Her issue was hygiene, that is fine. I'm adding to it that safety is also an issue so next time she may feel comfortable saying no.

@rosemarble I'd retch and would have to move table's/leave.
It all started when I was a teen and in the school canteen and saw someone pull a long hair out of their mouth while they were eating and it was covered in food. It made me throw up.
Ever since then I've had issues with hair.

Typical MN batshit toilet thread.

The safety aspect is the most important consideration here.

If OP wasn't thinking of that first and foremost at the time of posting, she is now. That can only be a good thing.

No absolutely not. I would have made an excuse that it's broken.

Im kitchen all a clean freak. But I have to say I wouldn't refuse (as all people need the toilet sometimes!) but would also clean the toilet and change the hand towel and clean handles and sink after they left. Some men are absolutely disgusting and you just don't which type of man this is unfortunately.

But that wasn’t her AIBU? Was it?

She is canvassing opnions, it is what happens on a chat forum and while many of us have supported her and said her boundaries are valid and her choice we've also added other factors that are relevant. Not sure why this needs to be kept being explained.

It ironic that we currently have an ongoing debate in the media about trans people using women's facilities yet some on here think nothing of inviting strangers into their very own safe space, their homes.

Unit wasn’t about boundaries. It was about a solitary hair and then extensive disinfecting.

It was about her not wanting this stranger in her personal space because of hygiene issues/personal boundaries and that is fine. it isn't up to you to judge her. .

My narrative did not change but you have clearly got a bee in your bonnet. The details I added in response to other posts and questions were additional reasons that I felt uncomfortable - he was pushy, he was unfriendly, he never said please or thankyou. I don’t give a flying fig how many YABU votes my OP got - the people who voted that way are either talking bollocks, trolls or being holier than thou in the way only MNs are. But thank you to the MANY MANY people who empathised and understood my position.

I am not a troll. But why did you not say no given your complete horror about anything to do with toilets/strangers/pubes etc?
I don't understand
I don't care so it wouldn't have worried me (even though it hasn't happened and I'm happy for anyone to use my toilet who is at my house be it tradesmen, friends, relations, visitors)
I just find it confusing.

Ffs, get a grip! You are OBSESSED with this thread, like some tinpot wannabe detective. Nothing changed over time, I added further details in response to questions asked and points made by other posters. Is that not allowed??

Oh dear, I’ve touched a nerve haven’t I?

It was completely unexpected that a delivery driver dropping something off should ask to use my toilet. So I was caught unawares and he was already inside my flat. The whole point being that in that split second I couldn’t think what to say. Is it really that confusing? Hasn’t everyone at some point agreed to something because it might be awkward/embarrassing/seem rude to say no?

Many people go along with things they'd rather not, societal pressure etc. Many women feel it is impolite to not go along with requests.

It is fine op, your feelings are valid and next time shut the door in his face.