Dh drank a whole bottle of whiskey

[howyoufeeling]

Seriously a whole bottle of Jameson.
Now dh is a good bloke, works his ass off in his own company, hands on dad, looks after us the best he can. He's got SADS, does every winter. He's upped his sertraline as recommended so waiting for that to take effect.
I took the little ones to bed last night and slept all night with them, he drank a whole bottle of whiskey. He didn't cause any trouble or anything you might expect from someone drinking that amount, wasn't sick or anything but couldn't get into bed as his head was spinning so slept downstairs. I've come down this morning and the whole bottle is gone.
Aibu or will this not fuck his liver ?! He's currently in bed dying, has work in a bit. Can't help but feel a little smug and so fucking grateful I don't feel how he does !!

He definitely isn't drinking in secret. As said he works all day everyday then comes straight home. Dh would not hide anything from me, he is a typical bloke with a male ego to match, if he wanted a drink he would drink and that's that.
He can hold his whiskey, he has some every weekend, but normally a bottle would last Friday and Saturday.
I don't think drinking every weekend makes you an alcoholic and if it does then the goverment should be banning this substance shouldn't they !
I posted about this because clearly it's alot, so not sure how I'm minimising but okay.

So half a bottle each day (Saturday and Sunday) that is still a LOT! An incredible lot. If it were two or three nips each of those days it would be different. He does have a pretty severe drinking problem.

Hang on, so he is regularly drinking a bottle of whisky a weekend? And you don’t think that is an alcohol problem?

😳 😲
That's got a potential to kill a human being.
He's not even sick?
Titanium liver springs in mind.

He has a drink of a weekend, half a bottle with a mixer. I don't believe that is a serious drinking problem, maybe to some who don't drink at all or who only have a glass of wine once a month.
Most people who work hard all week do treat themselves to a weekend drink.

Not particularly no. Every day yes. Not one a week.

well what an even weirder reply from yourself:
the poster I was replying to said her mother bought 3 BOXES of wine and a bottle of gin a day.
If you think that's normal then obviously that's fine.
If you could afford that easily then obviously up to you what you spend your money on but the vast vast majority of people would not be able to sustain that level of expenditure.
I'm guessing we're looking at at least £70 per day and I don't think it's at all weird to question the affordabilty of that; in fact the poster I was replying to said her mother ended up financially ruined by it

How many of you have a few bottles of wine a week? Or do you wait until the weekend as it's more acceptable?

Anybody having ‘a few bottles of wine’ a week has a drinking problem, doesn’t matter if it’s at the weekend or through the week.

My point is, if dh has a drinking problem for drinking on the evening at weekends after a full week works, then any person (woman on Mumsnet) has a problem too if they enjoy wine of a weekend.

There is a lot of misinformation, as well as down right prejudice, peddled on here about "alcoholism", OP.

The truth is, of course, that there are many ways people can have difficulty relationships with alcohol;; that not everyone who drinks slightly more than some posters here would is an "alcoholic"; and that it's not possible for anyone to diagnose this guy as anything without even meeting him, just hearing about this one thing he has done.

I am several years sober, having had a destructive relationship with alcohol in the past, and ideally I don't think anyone would drink - it harms more than it benefits.

But nonetheless I don't see any reason to assume your husband is on the brink of descending into alcoholic madness here. Plenty of people DO drink a bottle of spirits of the course of a evening - you say it usually lasts him two evenings, so it is not as if he has increased his drinking that drastically.

I sincerely doubt it has given him liver failure. If it had, I promise you would know.

I do think he was self-medicating on this occasion, which is a really common reason for alcohol use/abuse, and obviously less than ideal.

The most worrying thing for me is that your husband is suffering from depression that is bringing him down to this extent. And there were a couple of other red flags for me in your posts (forgive me if I am wrong about these).

1. You put the children to bed and stayed upstairs with them. Leaving your husband downstairs on his own all evening. Is this a regular occurrence? It is not ideal for cohabiting partners to be detached from each other to this extent, but especially when your husband is suffering with his mental health - doesn't he need company, cuddles, care? I am not trying to blame you in any way - no doubt you were busy with the kids, not just leaving him to it out of indifference. But could the bedtime routine be adjusted so that you and he get quality time together? This is in my opinion essential for mental health and the health of the relationship.

1. You describe a self employed grafter who even works weekends, who even feels obligated to go to work when he must feel horribly unwell (mentally and physically). How much strain is this work pressure putting on an already unwell man, and can it be adjusted?

These were my initial thoughts. Alcohol misuse, whether regular or occasional, is frequently a symptom rather than the disease itself. You have to treat the disease, not the symptoms. Get to the root of his depression. And sometimes meds alone just aren't enough. Sometimes we need to step back, take stock of our lives and make changes.

Best of luck.

It’s not enjoying a drink at the weekend that’s the problem. It’s the volume. A bottle of whisky over 2 nights is still an insane amount of booze. A bottle of wine over a couple of nights is fine as well, 3 or 4 bottles is not fine.

Just seen the bottle whisky at weekends.Presumably 70cl or litre. That’s a lot
It will affect the setraline uptake and increase sedative effects overall
Alcohol impacts adversely upon mood, given he already has low mood it is probably detrimental to his wellbeing

It is not that he is drinking, it is the amount he is drinking which should be a worry to you both.

'Enjoying wine' or 'having a few bottles a week' - those are two very different scenarios. A 700ml bottle of whiskey is 28 units, and a max of 14 is recommended for a man. If he is having that over a weekend that is binge drinking, and has a horrendous effect on his health compared to drinking 14 units (or even 28!) spread out over a full week. 28 units - his bottle - is twice the amount he should be drinking at a max. I think your DH may be underestimating the risks of his binging on the weekend - a binge is more than 8 units in one day. Doesn't he drive anywhere on the weekends?

A whole bottle of whisky is dangerous and could easily have caused liver damage. Doing this even once indicates a problem with alcohol. He needs hep.

Thank you for this post it's very informative and more understanding than alot of the others.

Dh job is very much the reason for his recent stress, 1000%, he is a grafter and takes on too much. He is good at what he does, his clients know this and he doesn't like letting them down. Obviously the money is a bonus too.

Our kids are only young still and won't go to sleep on their own (without me) I'm looking at hopefully sorting this out soon so me and dh get our evenings back.

Am I the only one who often polishes off the majority of a bottle of vodka?

By often I mean once every 6 or so weeks, I am not an alcoholic. I don't drink alcohol often but when I do a bottle of spirits goes down easily. I usually feel like crap the next day and then I'm fine afterwards. I'm surprised by some of the answers on this thread. A lot of people I know could easily polish off a bottle of spirits.

So he’s drunk when he’s driving and working at weekends?
You need to get your head out of the sand OP, your DH has a serious problem with alcohol, whether you like it or not.

I agree he has a problem with alcohol.

Not only does he drink a vast amount while on medication, but a 70cl bottle of whiskey is 28 units of alcohol which is twice the recommended limit and he's drinking this every week?

You are absolutely in denial.

Please do something about this for your children.

No absolute not recommended!

Is he working in people's homes OP? I would be horrified if someone was working in my house who'd drank a full bottle of whisky the night before. Will it not affect the quality of his work ?

This is Mumsnet, to be honest I should've know better than to post it.

Don't get me wrong I know dh likes a drink, and I certainly couldn't drink that much ! But until he's doing it in the week too (as more than a silly one off) I'm not going to label him an alcoholic, I know alcoholism, dh can take it and leave it, shock horror he's even turned down drinking on occasions because he doesn't feel like it !
I'm really not worried about his drinking usually, but last night was stupid hence the post.

I shall be leaving this thread now as I have my life to be getting on with. Thanks all.

He's drinking too much and too regularly OP.

He may not be a full alcoholic but he certainly sounds alcohol dependant.

As for people on here being the same - yes of course, it's a growing problem especially in women apparently. Alcohol is relatively cheap to buy compared to the past, and alcoholism is a rapidly growing problem and cause of deaths.

Your DH is drinking vastly more than the recommended units. He has a problem.

I speak as one who can also drink a whole bottle of Vodka over around 8 hours and be not too bad next day (I always make sure I eat a hearty meal during those hours and lots of water before sleeping). I know I'm drinking too much.