Page 13 | Dh drank a whole bottle of whiskey

MyLimeGuide · 20/02/2025 19:35

Ilovelurchers · 20/02/2025 15:31

So sorry to quote all of this - I can't work out how to only quote selected bits on the app....

On reflection, I do strongly feel that most posters have gone down the rabbit hole of focusing on the alcohol - and it's a divisive issue! A lot of people are secretly worried about their own drinking and so get very defensive about what constitutes a normal amount; others have had negative experience of alcoholics, and therefore feel it's ok to generalise quite offensively ("alcoholics never change"; "alcoholics are selfish" etc etc).

The real issue here is your husband's depression, and it doesn't sound like the medication he is on is touching the sides. (Is he a big bloke? I ask because my cousin, an HCP, mentioned to me recently that the AD dosage needs to be calibrated to patient size but often isn't, and this may be the reason it can be less effective in men. I don't know what article he found this in or if it was his own observation, so I can't back it up, but it's something I intend to look into when i have time - may be worth asking his GP about ? Or other posters may know if there is any truth in this).

But I think the best thing is for you and your husband to sit down together and make a list of the things that would make your lives easier and happier. Look at what you are both spending most of your time on at the moment, and then how you would like the balance to look. You need to take into account:

work

-childcare -household chores -house maintenance -exercise -sleep -leisure/hobbies -relaxation/TV

couples time/cuddles/sex

And anything else that is important to you both!

The real positive you have here is that you clearly love him very much (that's where the defensiveness comes from, and honestly, it's a good thing, a strength, as long as it doesn't blind you to any faults he may have too much). You very clearly admire what he does for you and your family. If he has the sane love for you, that is SUCH a strength as a couple.

And from the sound of it, he has already suggested spending more time on running - that is a really excellent plan!

Be proactive. Keep talking. If there are things that aren't working in our lives and in our relationships, almost always we can change them.

You may wish to speak to him about taking a break from alcohol, at least for the time being. I would always advocate sobriety personally, as I said in my last post, just because it leaves more money and time for all the other good things life can offer!

But the important thing is to address the reasons behind his stress and depression, so you get your lovely husband back. He should not have to feel like this every winter!

Good luck.

Show quote history

This is great ACTUAL advice ❤

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 20/02/2025 20:51

howyoufeeling · 20/02/2025 17:54

Oh I see now, no idea why I put that ! It's never been two just the one. Two would be taking the piss !

That’s good to hear as otherwise that would be a huge amount of alcohol. How is he this evening?

This could end up being a good thing, if it gives him a jolt to reappraise his relationship with alcohol and how it affects his mood.

NameChangedForThis1985 · 20/02/2025 21:04

My dad used to drink probably 300-400 units a week. No that's not a typo - 6 to 8 litres of extra strong cider per day/night (forget a glass of water by the bed when a cup of cider will do instead). He kept it up from the age of 18 to 41 until his heart gave out. One bottle of whisky isn't going to kill a big man like this.

LastRoIo · 20/02/2025 21:07

35cl bottle isn't actually that much for a big bloke. 70cl on the other hand is loads!

Stickywhitelovepiss · 21/02/2025 08:57

Imbusytodaysorry · 20/02/2025 18:46

I read it and assumed you ment two half bottles.
There are some right bitches on here.

Show quote history

I think most people are not attacking you, but trying to communicate a difficult truth to you - which you must recognise deep down (otherwise why post on the subject?), but maybe aren't quite in the right place to hear just yet.

Look, I get it - it took me (in retrospect an utterly wasted) two years between the start of my Mumsnet thread (my first semi-admission to myself that there was a potential problem) to actually leaving my alcoholic ex. And as I say, was very much on the defensive / in denial myself at the outset, until reality crashed down on me and I couldn't deny any more.

At the time, I thought Mumsnetters posting were being overly harsh / dramatic / unkind too. I still read back on that thread from time to time and am grateful to the supportive messages from strangers on the internet, who little by little helped me to see the light, and gave me the courage to extricate myself from an utterly impossible situation.

Perhaps your husband can still get his shit together; perhaps not. Either way, you'll need eyes wide open to deal with this going forward.

healthybychristmas · 21/02/2025 09:07

Did he drive to work?

Imbusytodaysorry · 21/02/2025 09:11

Never2many · 20/02/2025 18:57

And how does pointing out that the OP’s DH drinks twice the weekly recommended limit, and in the case of this week, four times, make them a bitch exactly?

OP hasn’t done anything wrong. But her DH absolutely is drinking too much.

Alcohol consumption can be a bit like the boiling frog. You start out small and before you know it you’re normalising one or two bottles of hard spirits in a week.

It can happen to the drinker as well as the friends/family.

And we’re assuming that DH is teetotal for the rest of the week which is almost certainly not the case.

But that doesn’t make someone a bitch for pointing it out.

OP has come here concerned not for the fact that drinking a whole bottle of whisky it’s her husband in the drink problem category, but because she thought it might make him ill.

People often minimise spirits because there isn’t the quantity iyswim. Even on here we have people comparing a bottle of whisky to a bottle of wine. Whereas actually one bottle of whisky is the same as five bottles of wine.

Show quote history

There are some catty/bitchy comments!

As for your massive post I had already read the whole post and I am more than capable of working it all out for myself . Kindly I didn’t need your summary .I am also more than aware of the difference between spirits and wine.

Maybe he is depressed due to drinking at night , maybe not .
If OP is in bed early every night and he is sitting alone maybe this is a regular occurrence (just not to the one bottle extreme )

Giving advice and telling Op to keep an eye out is very much different to carry/bitchy comments .

Convolvulus · 21/02/2025 09:35

howyoufeeling · 20/02/2025 10:40

He definitely isn't drinking in secret. As said he works all day everyday then comes straight home. Dh would not hide anything from me, he is a typical bloke with a male ego to match, if he wanted a drink he would drink and that's that.
He can hold his whiskey, he has some every weekend, but normally a bottle would last Friday and Saturday.
I don't think drinking every weekend makes you an alcoholic and if it does then the goverment should be banning this substance shouldn't they !
I posted about this because clearly it's alot, so not sure how I'm minimising but okay.

A bottle of whiskey within two days is still a hell of a lot, if your husband is drinking that regularly. I hope you've hidden any other alcohol you have in the house, as he obviously shouldn't be drinking this weekend?

I'm a bit concerned that his dose of Sertraline has had to be increased at a time when SAD would normally be lifting as the days get longer. Has he tried therapy?

Convolvulus · 21/02/2025 09:41

howyoufeeling · 20/02/2025 14:11

He doesn't drink that amount every weekend btw, only if he gets a little carried away. Usually one bottle, but more recently two, so I know it is mental health to blame.

He's been drinking two bottles of whiskey at weekends? Bloody hell. It's no wonder he's depressed, and he is doing terrible things to his liver.

If his work is the problem, can you persuade him to take someone else on to help?

Convolvulus · 21/02/2025 09:42

healthybychristmas · 21/02/2025 09:07

Did he drive to work?

Try reading OP's posts?

Tulipsandaffodils · 21/02/2025 09:56

Op, you have went from he drinks half a bottle at weekends with mixers , to two bottles to one bottle. It feels like you’re trying to minimise it.

no can down a full bottle of whisky and not be hospitalised unless they have a huge tolerance, and that tolerance only comes from being a very heavy drinker. Very heavy.

I am unsure if you just don’t know how much he drinks, If you’re embarassed so trying to downplay it, or are so Blase to alcohol abuse you can’t see an issue.

however I suspect you know full well why he could down a full bottle of whiskey in an evening, not have alcohol poisoning and be able to go to work the next day, and it is nothing to do with being a big bloke.

Fuuuuuckit · 21/02/2025 12:29

howyoufeeling · 20/02/2025 10:40

He definitely isn't drinking in secret. As said he works all day everyday then comes straight home. Dh would not hide anything from me, he is a typical bloke with a male ego to match, if he wanted a drink he would drink and that's that.
He can hold his whiskey, he has some every weekend, but normally a bottle would last Friday and Saturday.
I don't think drinking every weekend makes you an alcoholic and if it does then the goverment should be banning this substance shouldn't they !
I posted about this because clearly it's alot, so not sure how I'm minimising but okay.

He's already drinking twice the recommended units of alcohol by finishing just one bottle a weekend.

This may not fit your own picture of an alcoholic op, but he does have a big problem with booze that is absolutely impacting you and the DCs.

BettyButtersBatter · 21/02/2025 14:14

3 wine boxes plus a bottle of gin a night

9 bottles of wine and a bottle of Gin 😦No way!!

Blushingm · 21/02/2025 15:04

BettyButtersBatter · 21/02/2025 14:14

3 wine boxes plus a bottle of gin a night

9 bottles of wine and a bottle of Gin 😦No way!!

Wine boxes at the time were 3 litres so 12 bottles and the gin.

Started first thing and drank all day and all night

LastRoIo · 21/02/2025 16:39

BettyButtersBatter · 21/02/2025 14:14

3 wine boxes plus a bottle of gin a night

9 bottles of wine and a bottle of Gin 😦No way!!

That's insane!

paradisecityx · 21/02/2025 16:45

Gosh, Jamesons is lovely but so strong, one or two and I feel swimmy. Can only imagine how he's feeling. Hope all is ok, OP x

HappyMe6 · 21/02/2025 18:12

To drink whisky when you on antidepressants it stupid . I wouldn’t be feeling smug I’d be worried

auderesperare · 21/02/2025 18:13

Ilovelurchers · 20/02/2025 15:31

So sorry to quote all of this - I can't work out how to only quote selected bits on the app....

On reflection, I do strongly feel that most posters have gone down the rabbit hole of focusing on the alcohol - and it's a divisive issue! A lot of people are secretly worried about their own drinking and so get very defensive about what constitutes a normal amount; others have had negative experience of alcoholics, and therefore feel it's ok to generalise quite offensively ("alcoholics never change"; "alcoholics are selfish" etc etc).

The real issue here is your husband's depression, and it doesn't sound like the medication he is on is touching the sides. (Is he a big bloke? I ask because my cousin, an HCP, mentioned to me recently that the AD dosage needs to be calibrated to patient size but often isn't, and this may be the reason it can be less effective in men. I don't know what article he found this in or if it was his own observation, so I can't back it up, but it's something I intend to look into when i have time - may be worth asking his GP about ? Or other posters may know if there is any truth in this).

But I think the best thing is for you and your husband to sit down together and make a list of the things that would make your lives easier and happier. Look at what you are both spending most of your time on at the moment, and then how you would like the balance to look. You need to take into account:

work

-childcare -household chores -house maintenance -exercise -sleep -leisure/hobbies -relaxation/TV

couples time/cuddles/sex

And anything else that is important to you both!

The real positive you have here is that you clearly love him very much (that's where the defensiveness comes from, and honestly, it's a good thing, a strength, as long as it doesn't blind you to any faults he may have too much). You very clearly admire what he does for you and your family. If he has the sane love for you, that is SUCH a strength as a couple.

And from the sound of it, he has already suggested spending more time on running - that is a really excellent plan!

Be proactive. Keep talking. If there are things that aren't working in our lives and in our relationships, almost always we can change them.

You may wish to speak to him about taking a break from alcohol, at least for the time being. I would always advocate sobriety personally, as I said in my last post, just because it leaves more money and time for all the other good things life can offer!

But the important thing is to address the reasons behind his stress and depression, so you get your lovely husband back. He should not have to feel like this every winter!

Good luck.

Show quote history

The perfect post.

MustWeDoThis · 21/02/2025 18:16

howyoufeeling · 20/02/2025 08:24

Seriously a whole bottle of Jameson.
Now dh is a good bloke, works his ass off in his own company, hands on dad, looks after us the best he can. He's got SADS, does every winter. He's upped his sertraline as recommended so waiting for that to take effect.
I took the little ones to bed last night and slept all night with them, he drank a whole bottle of whiskey. He didn't cause any trouble or anything you might expect from someone drinking that amount, wasn't sick or anything but couldn't get into bed as his head was spinning so slept downstairs. I've come down this morning and the whole bottle is gone.
Aibu or will this not fuck his liver ?! He's currently in bed dying, has work in a bit. Can't help but feel a little smug and so fucking grateful I don't feel how he does !!

Mixing alcohol with antidepressants can worsen your symptoms of anxiety and depression. In fact, that much alcohol will cancel out the Sertraline.

If it's a one off, I would just let it go, and get plenty of water into him. Sounds like he just needed a night and antidepressants aren't always the solution. Neither is alcohol, but we need to go easy sometimes and just forgive ourselves, and have that moment.

It can cause respiratory problems, too so I would keep an eye.

MayNov · 21/02/2025 18:24

Are you both quite sure half of it wasn’t knocked over?

Flossflower · 21/02/2025 18:34

3luckystars · 20/02/2025 08:33

are you sure it was full to begin with?

Also why would he not have paracetamol?

Taking paracetamol after drinking a lot of alcohol is a bad idea. They are both bad for the liver.

ilovepixie · 21/02/2025 18:34

I used to regularly drink a bottle of vodka at the weekends in my partying days! No long term effects.

toxic44 · 21/02/2025 18:44

femfemlicious · 20/02/2025 08:37

3 wine boxes😟 isn't that 3 bottles of wine?

Show quote history

There was a time wine was sold bagged in plastic and boxed. There was a push-in plastic tap in the box front. I think the boxes were introduced as a way of safe packaging when you brought back your duty-free stuff.

DeepFatFried · 21/02/2025 18:53

toxic44 · 21/02/2025 18:44

There was a time wine was sold bagged in plastic and boxed. There was a push-in plastic tap in the box front. I think the boxes were introduced as a way of safe packaging when you brought back your duty-free stuff.

Show quote history

Wine boxes are common and freely available in any supermarket. Generally 1.5 litres, I think.

They are good for taking on holiday, parties, white wine in the fridge with easy dispensing, and also the wine keeps longer because the bag doesn't let air in when you pour wine out.

Yellowrosessmellpetaly · 21/02/2025 18:56

Alcohol puts the brakes on antidepressant efficacy. When I stopped drinking I realised that for damn sure.