To leave a four year old downstairs alone for about an hour?

[downthesteps]

We have recently changed bedtime routine. DS is 4 and has eczema and it’s been recommended we limit baths. I also have a toddler and for both of them since birth pretty much the routine has been bath, teeth, books and bed. Because DS isn’t now joining in the bath routine he’s watching TV downstairs on his own. I feel awful and I asked him last night if he’d like to watch my iPad upstairs instead but he said no … Should I put my foot down?

For an hour?? 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

… yes?

No wonder we have children riddled with anxiety, it's down to neurotic parents that are so bloody scared to leave a 4 year old in another room for a while. Do all these neurotic parents sleep outside their children's bedrooms on the hall way floor or are they brave enough to leave their child in a room for a whole night to sleep alone?

Another mumsnet poster that asks for peoples opinions and then gets argumentative or defensive when they are different from hers. Why do they do it?!?!

Who, me? I don’t think I’ve been argumentative but sorry if you feel that way! I don’t think saying how long it takes is being especially argumentative though.

Not sure. I mean it’ll probably be fine but it doesn’t take much for a child that young to get into fixes.

When I was four I decided to jump from my bed into an open drawer in the wardrobe by the bed and back again. This didn’t quite work out but fortunately the wardrobe landed on the bed not me.

Mind you some of the posters probably expect a 4 year old to have a better grasp of basic physics (it has improved since then) or the wardrobe to be nailed to the wall or something 😂

Mind you some of the posters probably expect... the wardrobe to be nailed to the wall or something

Ok I'm usually one of the least protective parents in the room but we do in fact anchor wardrobes and shelving to walls with young children in the house. That's a pretty low-level safety measure for the current century even if it wasn't as standard when I was young.

This was in 1982 😂

Genuinely had no idea wall anchoring was a thing! Well I’m not going to say it’s a bad idea 😂

A lot of interesting advice and ideas posted here for you to consider.
But really, there is no right or wrong answer. Try not to get too anxious about it as this will surely be picked up.

Leaving a 4 yr old downstairs is perfectly OK, no more risky than leaving them out of sight in the next room. Accidents can still happen when you're right there! So don't feel guilty about not being able to be in two places at once.
It just comes down to what works best for you. And what ever you decide, it's not set in stone. If you change your mind, if you feel uncomfortable with how you're doing things, you can always change it.
Best wishes to you.

Yes you bloody should, who's the adult in the house, you or the 4 year old???

What does the health visitor suggest?

I would restrict the number of baths for your DD as well. So instead of every night for her and your 4yo sitting on his own they both have a bath twice a week (or whatever recommended by the specialist). I dont think daily baths are helpful or necessary for anyone really.

Wow I'm surprised at the majority of comments. I would not leave 4 year old alone for an hour. Accidents happen, hour is very long time. I would have him join the routine, my 4 year old went to bed at 7pm, so surely can't be that much later than toddler?

Good for you that your child's bedtime is shorter - I'm sure the OP loves to read this piece of mum shaming re bedtime length, well done you.

OP, I have a toddler too & a slightly older child & we do the same & that too takes an hour, totally normal from our perspective. Although I too have always felt guilty about leaving son downstairs but it's the only way & I think he enjoys the peace.

Oh dear OP ask a stupid question.

What is your worry about leaving your son alone while you bath your daughter? If it is about him getting into things, you can take sensible precautions, like locking the front door or making sure anything harmful is out of sight and out of reach. If you are worried about him being alone, actually, getting used to your own company and entertaining yourself are useful life skills. He is growing up and may appreciate a bit of time away from his little sister, especially if it means he can choose what to watch on the TV. As a caring parent, you will have one ear open for him anyway, and if you are worried, it's no big deal to pop downstairs and check that all is OK. If it works for your family circumstances, then go for it.

When I was 4 I was in charge of measuring (was a mix of cheese and raisins, so needed measuring, not just a packet of something) and handing out snacks in nursery to the other kids when they’d been told to queue up. Granted an adult was watching, but never had to intervene. So I’d have been perfectly fine on my own for an hour - and I probably was at some times at home, don’t remember