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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
honeylulu · 21/02/2025 19:12

I am speechless. In what world could someone claim that telling her your dog had died could be understood to mean that his further grooming appointments would still be required because you hadn't actually said they weren't.

Massive sympathies to you OP.
What a stupid, greedy, unkind woman!

I doubt very much she'll "take this further" but if she does you have nice clear proof in the message exchange. A small claims court judge will rip her a new one.

JaimeLannister · 21/02/2025 19:23

What was she doing at the time of your appointment? Sat waiting for you to show up? What a bizarre woman.

I don't normally recommend slating anyone on social media but I certainly wouldn't want someone that uncaring grooming my dog.

WitchesCauldron · 21/02/2025 19:25

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

Jeez is she devoid of all heart. Sorry about your pup- that's such a horrible feeling losing a much lost pet.

She should do one. I doubt if she has any grounds to pursue this. Any sensible person would take the death of a dog as formal reason to cancel an appt.

It must hurt though when he enjoyed his visits so much.

Serendipawtous · 21/02/2025 19:47

This groomer is a heartless, idiotic fucknut; I would name and shame and leave an honest review of this experience!

I am so sorry about your precious dog xx

J3001 · 21/02/2025 19:50
Flowers April GIF

So sorry for your loss it is hard there like family , if that was me i would be raging but also petty if your getting there ashes back i take them to her and say there you go carry on and groom him people like that piss me off , i paid for grooming for the lab i have now only paid deposit but had to keep canceling because of stuff going so paid rest as she was good at working with me.i totally get your upset and angry at her think any dim wit would realise you wouldn't need the appointment🌹

Horses7 · 21/02/2025 19:57

She’s nuts! Just ignore her, but if you need to then comment on her social media. Don’t feel bad you’ve done nothing wrong.

Ihateboris · 21/02/2025 20:04

Op, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my old black lab last year and I still get upset thinking about her.

I don't normally suggest naming and shaming on social media, but in this instance I most definitely do. What a heartless bitch she is.

Ihateboris · 21/02/2025 20:04

Op, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my old black lab last year and I still get upset thinking about her.

I don't normally suggest naming and shaming on social media, but in this instance I most definitely do. What a heartless bitch she is.

Jack80 · 21/02/2025 20:10

Sorry for your loss it was obvious you needed to cancel your appointment. Just resend the message you sent her again.

beee93 · 21/02/2025 20:22

Christ what a heartless cow she is! You absolutely do not need to be paying her OP. She’s is bonkers, what awful customer service and complete lack of human decency.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your doggy 💛

Pres11 · 21/02/2025 20:24

Just wow! That’s just horrendous. I’m so sorry you have lost your dog and sorry that you e had to deal with such incompency. I’m amazed!

MoonWoman69 · 21/02/2025 20:27

I'm sorry I haven't read the full thread, I was too outraged and wanted to chip in. Firstly, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. It's so hard a thing to have to deal with. 💐
Secondly, that is absolutely disgusting of her. She's in the wrong bloody profession if she doesn't have an ounce of sympathy for your loss and doesn't understand that upon finding out, she should have had the sense to cancel it. What a cruel hearted woman!
I'd email her and tell her you'll counter claim, for her causing you unwanted distress!
I think any small claims court would laugh her out to be honest.
Sending gentle hugs, I hope you can resolve this quickly 💐

OpalHedgehog · 21/02/2025 20:35

Im so sorry for your loss 💐

In regards to the groomer - they sound absolutely horrid. Of course you didn’t need to confirm that you wouldn’t be needing the appointment and I’d like to think if she tried to take this to the small claims court they would shut her down immediately.

To be honest if I were you I’d be making this story known on social media (on reviews if they have a Facebook page and have Google reviews linked) and just be purely factual. If I saw this in a review when looking for a groomer I’d run a mile.

LilacOpal · 21/02/2025 20:55

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. 💐

Agathamarple · 21/02/2025 21:53

So sorry for your loss.
I agree with others and would respond that you will not be paying and if she continues to harass you, you will let everyone know what she is like via socials.

Daftypants · 21/02/2025 22:00

what a heartless person she is !
that’s absolutely unbelievable.
i am so sorry for the loss of your dog x

JorgyPorgy · 21/02/2025 22:04

Lampshadeblue · 20/02/2025 00:41

I’m so sorry for your loss. Of course the text telling her you dog has passed away was also letting her know future grooming was not required. I don’t normally recommend negative reviews but I would put your experience on social media (with quotes from her email if necessary). As a dog owner I would want to know if I was leaving my dog alone with someone with obviously such little compassion.

Agreed!

JorgyPorgy · 21/02/2025 22:14

Sorry for your loss, sounds like he had a good life with caring owners. The groomer has zero compassion or empathy ( or much intelligence) . She shouldn’t be working with animals ( nor children nor vulnerable adults). Keep evidence & state a factual online review. Pet owners have a right to know. If she contacts you again it’s like harassment…

pollymere · 21/02/2025 23:40

Let her "take it further". You contacting her to say that sadly the dog had died should have been sufficient for her to assume you were cancelling future appointments. She should have asked "Would you like to keep the appointments?" if she wasn't sure.

Does she think a judge will do anything in her favour?

Coloursofthewind2 · 21/02/2025 23:43

Sorry for your loss, please do not pay her x

Teddybear23 · 21/02/2025 23:48

Kpo58 · 20/02/2025 00:11

What planet is the groomer on? Was she expecting you to take your dog into her taxidermied?! If she really wasn't sure if you still wanted the sessions or not after you had told her that your dog had died, she should have asked you.

Maybe she thought you needed a haircut !! Really it’s ridiculous, if telling her your dog had died wasn’t enough notice I don’t know what is. Stupid woman, just ignore her, if she takes you to court let her, but try and find proof of when you rang her and did anyone overhear the call?

grinchalicious · 21/02/2025 23:57

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog. You say you recommended her via social media, I would let everyone know what a cold hearted, uncaring individual she is via the same platform. Disgusting.

Normallynumb · 22/02/2025 00:20

I'm so sorry you've lost your dog
The groomer is ridiculously insensitive, and frankly stupid if she thinks this is how to treat loyal customers
Word of mouth brings a lot of business into services like this, hairdressers etc, so do spread the word when you feel like it
Even if " by taking it further" she means small claims court. It would cost the stupid woman £50 anyway so ignore, block from now on

Snakebite61 · 22/02/2025 08:46

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

Take it all the way, she's the one who will be embarrassed and receive bad publicity and custom.

Coopee · 22/02/2025 09:09

Shocking behaviour. I’m so sorry for your loss.

I’m a licenced dog boarder. I was originally thinking it was automated like my system, but realised you informed her of his passing. In my book that amounts to a cancellation well in advance of her 48hr notification. You’d be receiving a card and flowers from me if you were my client of 4 years standing.

How shameful of her.

💕😔💐