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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
venus7 · 22/02/2025 09:18

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/02/2025 00:15

She'll get nowhere if she tries to take you to small claims court. Make sure you have screenshots of your conversation before she tries to delete them.

You said you block booked. Are there more bookings she might pull the same stunt for? I wouldn't cancel them as it might look like you think she's right and you should have cancelled in the first place.

I'm sorry about your ddog 🐾

Good advice......very.
Dog groomer is clearly a cf.

Runki · 22/02/2025 11:14

I am so sorry about your lovely dog. This woman sounds utterly bonkers and without an ounce of empathy, decency or common sense. Anything else aside, does she not realise that if you have recommended her to other people, you can also do the opposite?! Word of mouth is very powerful for small businesses, as is goodwill; of which she has shown you none after years of dedicated business you have brought her way.

I can't believe she would go to these lengths for the sake of £35, when you messaging to let her know that your beloved dog had passed away was OBVIOUSLY you telling her that he wouldn't be coming to any further appointments. What a heartless, and frankly stupid person she is. Please don't give in and pay her. Let her go to the trouble of 'taking it further', whatever that might mean and see how far she gets. You have the proof of having let her know in writing. That is more than enough notification that of course you won't be attending the appointment! When my husband died suddenly, I had to phone various places that he had forthcoming appointments with and let them know. I certainly didn't have to say that he had died and insult their intelligence by saying that therefore he wouldn't be able to attend and please could I cancel. I only had to say that he had passed away and the person on the other end of the phone was always sympathetic and just said how sorry they were and thank you for letting them know. Nothing more needed to be said and this is what should have happened with the dog groomer. She sounds impossible. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

JorgyPorgy · 22/02/2025 11:23

Let that stupid woman spend her money on small claims court. It will get dismissed. Tell her if she takes action you will take action against her for harassment and causing distress and injury to feelings and will be seeking a sum from her in compensation .

Runki · 22/02/2025 11:25

InfamyInfamytheyveallgotitinforme · 20/02/2025 01:06

I’m really sorry about your dog @Nurseamy87 . I lost my much loved dog a few months ago and it is very tough.

Setting aside the ridiculousness of your call to her not being a pretty obvious cancellation, I also have a strict payment and cancellation terms for my clients (different job) but you have to use your discretion. In making a mistake and then trying to brazen it out she has made a very foolish commercial decision. The cost to her of hanging on to your £35 is going to be far higher for her as that is just the kind of behaviour that could lose her business. She deserves an honest review.

As for “take things further”. What’s she going to do? Take you to the small claims court when you no doubt have proof of when your poor dog died and of the subsequent phone call you made to her well clear of any notice she requires. Silly woman.

I couldn't agree more.

Runki · 22/02/2025 11:52

BanditTheCat · 20/02/2025 08:34

I’d pay it, say nothing else, and then leave a review explaining exactly what’s happened on Google, Facebook, and anywhere else available.

The trouble is with that though, if the OP pays it, will the dog groomer then also chase her for any future block booked appointments that she might be nuts enough to think she is still owed money for, in her twisted view?

Runki · 22/02/2025 12:17

The more I think about this, the more I wonder if, even if the OP had put in her message that 1) her dear doggy had sadly passed away and therefore 2) she would like to cancel any future appointments, this might not have been enough and the email reminder asking for payment would still have been sent. The dog groomer sounds like the sort of person who will either 1) try anything on to get what she thinks she is owed or 2) has cocked up massively by allowing the email to be sent and is now either too stubborn and/or embarrassed to back down. Either way, she's a total idiot and should be ashamed.

liquoricetorpedoes · 22/02/2025 12:37

I’m so sorry for your loss. You certainly don’t need that rubbish from the groomer.
Just to highlight how bonkers she is I’ll contrast it with our experience. We had our dog put to sleep last September. He had been going to Hydrotherapy twice a week. I obviously told Hydro he was being pts but didn’t formally cancel appointments. They sent us flowers and a lovely card when our dog had passed.
About a month later I got an automated email reminder about an appointment and replied just to let them know it had been sent. I got an immediate reply that was so apologetic that it had been sent. That’s the kind of response I’d have expected from your groomer!

AllyDally · 22/02/2025 14:07

Wow, that is awful. You clearly cancelled when you sent the message, you have proof of that so i don't think there is any legal action she can take against you.

I dont really agree with sharing stuff about local businesses on FB as often its out of spite when the client is equally to blame, and there are 2 sides etc however she has been very clear on her feelings on this so I dont think I would feel bad about 'naming and shaming' here.

Daphnise · 22/02/2025 14:18

It is all to frequent that when you are upset about a major event, people around you can be horribly insensitive.
I'd ignore her.
If she tries to "take it further" then respond to any official claims/summons with the facts.

Cosyblankets · 22/02/2025 15:54

Any update OP?

Panda59 · 22/02/2025 18:52

First of all I'm very sorry about your beautiful boy, I've just lost my dog after 17 years so I know how very painful it is. You did notify her, in as many words, that the appointment clearly wasn't going to be used. She is utterly ridiculous and this is really a none starter. You need to say to her that you notified her in plenty of time, that your dog had passed and remind her of the date of your notification to her. You don't see how she could imagine why you would then re tell her again, that he had passed? She has been notified, in legal terms that's all you needed to do. She can't hold you accountable for payment to groom a dog that is no longer here. Simple. And tell her that as far as your concerned that was your notification to her and why else would you be texting. Don't pay. Yanbu

JohnTheRevelator · 22/02/2025 19:23

Omg this is awful. She sounds totally heartless. So sorry about the loss of your darling dog.

TheMotherofDogs · 22/02/2025 20:54

OMG!!! This is outrageous!! I am so sorry for your loss OP 💔 I personally would be posting this all
over your social media, as this shows just how much she actually cares about her clients! Why on earth would anyone want to use her for their dogs after this?! Utterly disgusting and shameful! Do not pay her a penny! I would never use a groomer like this, who would chase someone for a missed appointment, even after she knew their dog had died! She is insane and a horrible person! You gave her 2 weeks notice, when you told her your dog had passed away, if she’s too stupid to not realise you wouldn’t be bringing your dog on his next appointment, that’s a her problem, not a you problem! SMH! Some people! 🤦🏻‍♀️

wakijaki09 · 23/02/2025 09:10

Op I am so sorry this has happened to you. I get she's running a business but the fact that you informed her of your dogs passing should of meant she would of cancelled any future appointments. I really don't understand the lack of empathy in this situation.
Please do not pay. You gave her notice and her terms are ridiculous.
You shouldn't have to say the actual words of I'm cancelling appointments because he's died to her..it's common sense.
I'd say if she continues to hound you for payment name and shame her on social media as it's an disgusting way to treat someone who has lost their pet.
I lost my beautiful boy a month ago and it's horrendous pain. Especially when you don't have another dog in the home. I'm furious on your behalf with this groomer.

chipsaway · 24/02/2025 20:25

Sorry but she’s a bloody conwoman.

I would politely reply to advise she was informed your dog had passed. I would ask if she was still presuming that you would be still bringing him despite this or does she simply not have the intelligence to presume that that appointment or any future appointments would not be needed.

Zanatdy · 24/02/2025 20:27

Wow, i’d be pasting this all over local
social media. Unbelieveable

TicklishMintDuck · 24/02/2025 20:28

Absolutely appalling. Obviously your message that he had passed away was the cue to cancel all further appointments. Keep evidence of that message you sent and don’t pay. Take care. Your dog 🐶 will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. 🌈 ♥️

flower858 · 24/02/2025 20:30

She is a proper c n u t

Umidontknow · 24/02/2025 20:30

Oh how stupid. Let her take it further if she wants but I'm sure she will get laughed at for thinking you where going to turn up with a dog that has been dead for weeks. I'm really sorry for your loss its heartbreaking saying goodbye 😔

Littlefoxy · 24/02/2025 20:30

She’s being awful and insensitive and she’s sabotaging her business with an approach like that. She’s made certain that if you ever got another dog then you wouldn’t use her again. She can jog on.

UnicornBubble · 24/02/2025 20:34

Let her take it further. The moment she admits you phoned her to inform her that your doggo had passed, it would be thrown out of any court!
Why on earth did she just merrily go along expecting you to turn up without a dog????

chipsaway · 24/02/2025 20:35

If you have no joy. I would then put something on her social media page. That may do it

IDoWhateverItTakes · 24/02/2025 20:39

I would be blasting her behaviour all over social media. She knew your dog had died; and she does this? Just, wow. How awful.

I'm sorry for your loss.

welshmercury · 24/02/2025 20:43

I wouldn’t worry about it being taken further as unless her T&C were reviewed by a lawyer then they aren’t enforceable.

also it’s not worth the effort of taking you to small claims court for just £35. or the bad publicity of you telling just friends and family locally when you talk about this.

i would make it clear that you don’t need further appointments going forward just in case and do this in writing.

sorry you have had to go through this. Some of it could have been automated systems sending notifications out but then she could have apologised and removed them.

could she be ND and basically not reading between the lines that dog is dead so appointment is cancelled.

It’s a shame the relationship ended this way but try not to let it get in the way of remembering your happy pet xx

madamovaries · 24/02/2025 20:47

I'd probably go to a journalist with this! This is awful. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dog. You sound like wonderful dog owners.

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