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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
easylemonsqueezy · 20/02/2025 13:35

I hope you've told her she can do one.....
So sorry for your sad loss x

JustFeedMeCake · 20/02/2025 13:39

I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't pay. She's an idiot, at best. You told her your beloved dog had passed away. Why on earth would you need to tell her to cancel the appointment, that's just common sense. I'd be absolutely furious, in fact I am, on your behalf. I would be telling everyone and ensure she lost business. She's certainly lost yours for any future pets. So greedy and cruel.

thequeenoftarts · 20/02/2025 13:44

The groomer is batshit, not your fault or problem, unless she wanted you to rock up with a dead dog for grooming. What a stupid woman she is. Tell her to go as far as she likes and you will let everyone locally know and it will cost her far more than £35 pounds. Not your fault she can't use her common sense GAH

LouH1981 · 20/02/2025 13:51

Firstly, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my 15 year old Lab at the end of December and so I understand your heart break ❤️
I am also a dog groomer. By informing her that your dog has passed away you have essentially cancelled any further appointments. How on earth could she consider it to be any different?
It would cost her way more than the missed appointment to send the matter to a small claims court which is her only remedy but in any event, you have essentially ended the contract and given notice so imo, would not be successful in any event.
I’m so shocked that another groomer is behaving this way. I am always so upset when this happens to my clients. It would be the last thing on my mind.
My advice is reiterate that notice was given and ignore any future contact.
Sending massive hugs to you xx

twoshedsjackson · 20/02/2025 14:11

About eighteen months ago, one of my cats (ex-rescue, so age unknown) quietly reached reached the end of his days, and I took up the service offered by the local vetinary practice of cremating his remains. The staff greeted me sympathetically, and took over.
I had an insurance policy for both boys, paid monthly, covering routine care such as booster jabs and a six-monthly checkups, and it occurred to me, after the initial sadness, that I now only needed cover for one cat.
I called the vetinary practice to say that I would only be bringing in one patient for his check up and boosters in future. The response was, "Of course, we already notified the vet care plan and updated our own records".
I know this was a practice, rather than a one-person business, but I would have thought that this was commonsense business practice.
Sympathies on losing your dog; I know only too well what a place they hold in our hearts.

3rdtimeinflorida · 20/02/2025 14:30

So sorry for your loss, it truly is heartbreaking.

Reading this I am just astounded that she obviously has a) no common sense, b)must be desperate for the money, c)no heart- (either/or maybe all 3).
Definitely needs to go on social media just as a friendly warning to her other customers if/when this happens to them.
Please do not pay.

Hedgerow2 · 20/02/2025 14:35

@twoshedsjackson - same here. One of our dogs had to be pts last year and the veterinary practice emailed us afterwards to say they would cancel his monthly care plan. No 'formal' request needed. Just common sense 🤷‍♀️

Hoppinggreen · 20/02/2025 14:40

I am sorry about your dog.
As a SE person I am usually the first to stick up for other SE people wanting to be paid but this is absolutely outrageous and I think I might do whatever I could to make sure the local community knew about this with the intention of ruining her business.
Awful woman

Calamitousness · 20/02/2025 14:44

She will get nowhere with any escalation she attempts. Just block and ignore. I would share your experience however with local groups and pet pages. I know I would not like to use a groomer that behaved in such a manner. So
so sorry for your loss. I dread the day. Our dogs (animals) are indeed family and very very loved.

Meandhimtogether · 20/02/2025 14:45

I'm sure if you post on social media in your area it will be worse off for her
You can post true facts.

Sorry for the loss of your darling dog. Silly woman

ClockingOffers · 20/02/2025 18:40

I’m so sorry for your loss. You must be feeling devastated.

On the other hand, She’s fucking batshit. 😱

I hope you post her messages threatening to sue you on your social media when you’re feeling in a better place. Your doggy pals need to be aware of her raging insensitivity. What a stupid woman!

ShrimpPasta · 20/02/2025 20:18

I'm sorry for your loss too and echo the above, she must be absolutely nuts! So stressful though which you could do without out. She’s deranged!

myusernamewastakenbyme · 20/02/2025 20:49

This is insane....Do not pay the stupid cow...come to think of it i know a dog groomer who is a bit deranged....Is she in Norfolk by any chance?

Spendysis · 21/02/2025 00:06

I am so sorry for your loss it's heartbreaking
I was in a similar situation last year my ddog was poorly we had a groomer appointment booked and called our groomer to let her know he had passed and she offered her condolences etc and that was it as it should be that was confirmation the appointment was cancelled

I would let them try and take it further and potentially leave them a review explaining you and ddog were very happy with the service but explain what has happened since ddog passed which is an honest review

I understand it's probably a small business and people cancelling appointments short notice or not turning up costs them money but this is ridiculous you gave them plenty of notice ddog as they had passed away would not need the booked appointment

Weald56 · 21/02/2025 18:00

ARealitycheck · 20/02/2025 00:12

Astounded that a supposed pet caring business behaves like this. I don't normally say stick it on facebook, but in this case share with world. What a see you next tuesday.

Yup, that's what I'd suggest. Bad publicity ....

pomers · 21/02/2025 18:16

Put it on her Facebook page with copies of her emails

Laura95167 · 21/02/2025 18:23

It would cost her more than £35 to take it further. More than that if you advertised this callous behaviour.

Id ignore her. Not pay it.

And when I was ready to love again find a new groomer. Honestly when you contacted her to say he had passed that was the notification. You dont need to follow that with so he won't hed a hair cut.

Disgusting behaviour from her

Primmyhill · 21/02/2025 18:28

Tell her to F off and to do her worst. What a piece of work. So sorry, dogs really are special souls.

willowthecat · 21/02/2025 18:34

Horrific ! But if she acknowledged the news of the death in a message, I can't see how she can take any legal action , she is just trying to intimidate you.

Azdcgbjml · 21/02/2025 18:36

I'm so sorry about your dog. I know how hard that hits.

I'm not sure on what planet telling her the dog had died was not notice that he would not need the appointment. I'd love to see the look on the legal bods face when she tries to make that case!

Springadorable · 21/02/2025 18:53

So her plan was to groom a dead dog?! She's totally ridiculous and I'd be tempted to leave a Google review...

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 21/02/2025 18:56

First, op, I am so sorry to hear about your dog. Secondly, do not give this woman a penny. This is disgusting. Of course you were cancelling - was she expected a deceased dog to turn up for a groom? As a dog owner, I’m angry for you. This is awful when you’re already so sad.

Puppymom · 21/02/2025 19:03

I’m so sorry for your loss. They really do take a special place in our hearts.
this groomer is not ok! She is obviously not in tune with the feelings of a grieving pet owner. I would tell her to take it further see how that goes for her! Would cost her hundreds of pounds to get 35 out of you.
when my dog died in lockdown her insurance renewal was due and I let her know i had lost her but they managed to still call me twice to ask for payment and that brought me to tears. It’s just too insensitive.
sending you hugs while your heart heals x

TwinklySquid · 21/02/2025 19:08

What did she think was going to happen at the groom if your dog had passed away?

Id tell her to do what she feels she needs to do and I’d write a review of her. This is so messed up for someone who has known your dog for years. Very short sighted too as you may get another dog.

MissDoubleU · 21/02/2025 19:10

I’d be leaving a very public negative review detailing how the £35 is clearly more important to her than basic customer care. She knew full well that you weren’t in need of the appointment and is taking advantage of “official cancellation request” language in her precious T&C’s to get her last penny.

I absolutely wouldn’t be paying. You informed her in the most obvious way that further appointments would not be necessary.