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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
boredsolicitor · 20/02/2025 00:46

I agree with others - leave a review setting this out and tell your friends who you recommended too so they can decide whether to continue with such an uncaring batshit groomer

Ihopeithinkiknow · 20/02/2025 00:53

Let her take things further because if telling her your dog is no longer alive is not enough information for her to know that all future appointments are not needed then I'm not quite sure there is any point in communicating with her. What a heartless stupid woman she is

RickiRaccoon · 20/02/2025 00:58

Sorry about your dog. She's acting very strangely and unreasonably. Most people are so lovely when you lose someone. Don't pay anything. If she contacts you again, tell her she's being unreasonable and you consider your communication that your dog had died as notice that he of course didn't need future grooming sessions. Save the messages somewhere so you have a record.

Whatisthisbs · 20/02/2025 00:58

She is mental. I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I lost my dog on Saturday and haven't moved from the sofa since. I'm broken, and wouldn't have the strength to deal with a twat like this as well. 💐 for you and hugs xx

MrsPeregrine · 20/02/2025 01:02

I would also leave a review and keep copies/ screenshots of the messages from her as proof. I would also make it clear to her not to contact you again or you will report her for harassment. What a thoroughly unpleasant character she is.

Millyjanice · 20/02/2025 01:04

Let her “ take it further” if she wants to make herself look unhinged and a laughing stock !

InfamyInfamytheyveallgotitinforme · 20/02/2025 01:06

I’m really sorry about your dog @Nurseamy87 . I lost my much loved dog a few months ago and it is very tough.

Setting aside the ridiculousness of your call to her not being a pretty obvious cancellation, I also have a strict payment and cancellation terms for my clients (different job) but you have to use your discretion. In making a mistake and then trying to brazen it out she has made a very foolish commercial decision. The cost to her of hanging on to your £35 is going to be far higher for her as that is just the kind of behaviour that could lose her business. She deserves an honest review.

As for “take things further”. What’s she going to do? Take you to the small claims court when you no doubt have proof of when your poor dog died and of the subsequent phone call you made to her well clear of any notice she requires. Silly woman.

Notgivenuphope · 20/02/2025 01:08

She is beyond ridiculous and totally insensitive
so sorry for the loss of your lovely boy 🐾🐾

Hedgerow2 · 20/02/2025 01:12

Absolutely crazy. So sorry for your loss.

XenoBitch · 20/02/2025 01:12

YANBU
You called and informed her that your DDog had sadly died. That should have been enough.

LavenderViolets · 20/02/2025 01:15

So sorry for your loss.

The groomer is batshit crazy I’ve never heard anything like it.

Leave an honest review, she is being totally ridiculous.

Plest · 20/02/2025 01:21

Screenshot and print the messages that show your dog died. Also any other messages. And notes and dates of conversations. Screenshot your call logs as well. In case you need proof she knew. It’ll be excellent evidence.

let her “take it further”. What an utterly wicked woman.

Floralnomad · 20/02/2025 01:21

Sorry for your loss . Just block her and see what happens because frankly all she can do is take you to small claims if she’s that stupid at which point you tell them that you rang and told her the dog was dead and assumed like any normal person that she would then cancel his appointments . My lovely dog died in November and similarly I spoke to the groomer to let her know as she had been looking after him for about 12 years and she obviously cancelled his future appointments - like a normal person would . I’d be tempted to post on any local dog pages / FB neighbourhood page to warn other people about her grabby behaviour .

shiningstar2 · 20/02/2025 01:24

She (the groomer) is either deranged or very greedy ..or both 🤔 Sorry for the loss of your lovely boy 💐

jellyfishperiwinkle · 20/02/2025 01:25

I'd normally advise politely telling someone to fuck off, as a lawyer, and specialise in polite fuck off letters.

In this case I'd just phone her up and tell her to fuck off to the far side of fuck. And I'd certainly be leaving a factual review on Google saying exactly what she had done, with a side order of reporting her to trading standards for her disgraceful attempt to blag money off me.

FYI - As my cats are of mature years I just asked the vets if there was any tie-in to the monthly care plan they are on if they were to pass away. They replied that it would be cancelled as soon as we told them the cat passed away (or of course if they were PTS at the vet's). That's the way it should be done.

And I'm so sorry for your loss. 💐

Happyinarcon · 20/02/2025 01:28

I’m finding this hard to believe

ffsfindmeausername · 20/02/2025 01:32

I'm really shocked and disgusted by this, No normal person would do this to a grieving pet owner, she clearly has no empathy.
I think fellow customers need making aware of her behaviour as tbh I wouldn't want her grooming my beloved dog after hearing of this behaviour. I'd let other know on Google reviews and her social media page.
I'm so sorry you've had to go through this op. 💐

Delphiniumandlupins · 20/02/2025 01:35

I assume her admin systems are not very good and she did not tie your message about your poor dog to your upcoming appointment. Why she didn't just apologise for the automatic email charging you is beyond me. Ignore her.

MyCatNamedCookingFat · 20/02/2025 01:37

Pets are like our children.

Imagine a childcare organisation doing similar?

Awful, awful, awful. I am sorry for your loss.

movinghouse12 · 20/02/2025 01:41

I'd be taking this further too - to social media!

I thought you were going to say you didn't tell her and thought she should waive the charge in which case I would have said gently that YABU and how was she to know. But what an inhumane dickhead!

JandamiHash · 20/02/2025 01:48

Wow!!

My sister is a dog groomer and she not only goes out her way to make sure things like this don’t happen (a lot of it is automated) and if it did she’d be totally mortified and apologise

Your groomer is a greedy heartless prick.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 20/02/2025 01:52

As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him

You have the proof that you messaged her to say that your lovely dog had passed away

That's all that's needed

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

LardoBurrows · 20/02/2025 01:55

It's amazing that someone so monumentally thick and so lacking in empathy is still in business. I wouldn't hesitate to name and shame at every opportunity.

Sorry about your dog Op.

ChampagneLassie · 20/02/2025 01:58

I am so sorry for your loss. I am furious on your behalf, this woman 100% deserves you to share her behaviour across social media. I can appreciate you probably just want to forget this interaction, but I think you really ought to share widely so other customers/ potential customers know what she’s like and save them from a similar treatment. Google review, Facebook, Trustpilot, local Facebook groups for dog owners etc . Attach screenshots of the messages if you can.

Anotherparkingthread · 20/02/2025 02:01

Fuck me, what a cold hearted bitch.

I'm rarely one to air grievances in public but I'd definitely take this to social media with screen shots of the conversations.

She's a horrible person and if I saw my groomer treat any client like this I'd cancel my own appointments immediately and go elseware because the sad fact is this happens to all pet owners one day.

It won't hold up legally if she persues you for the 35 quid, your argument is simply: Why else would I text to inform of my dogs passing?

She's not your friend etc so the text was enough to establish that her services would no longer be needed.

And if she couldn't understand that from the text, she's not fit to watwr plants let alone run her own business.