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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
GreatGardenstuff · 24/02/2025 22:35

So sorry for your loss.

The groomer’s behaviour is awful! You gave her clear notice that you no longer needed the appointment when you informed her of your dog’s passing. She’s very much in the wrong to be harassing you for payment.

I would ignore her, but certainly let the people you recommended her to know that this is how she’s operating, it’s unfair, unkind and ridiculous.

Dramatic · 24/02/2025 22:40

I can't believe someone would do this?! I mean obviously she has but it's absolutely insane. Why else would she think you rang her to tell her of your dogs passing, just for the conversation?! She is being incredibly cruel. I'm sorry op, but if she tries to legally challenge you she won't have a leg to stand on.

Beekeepingmum · 24/02/2025 22:44

She expected you to bring a dead dog for grooming appointment? She is insane.

SezFrankly · 24/02/2025 23:38

You’ve messaged her and told her your dog died. That’s it. You’ve informed her. Let her try and take it further, and then all you need to do is show them the message. She can pay costs and you can tell EVERYONE what a silly cow she is.

FeegleFion · 24/02/2025 23:50

I’m so sorry about your boy. May he be playing over the rainbow bridge.

You’re absolutely not being unreasonable. The fact you made her aware of his sad passing was also a very obvious cancellation.

Let her take it anywhere she likes. It’ll cost her a lot more to file a civil suit and then she will be told that the call she received from you about his passing is satisfactory and a clear message that you do not require any further appointments.

Again, my deepest condolences

MMCQ · 24/02/2025 23:50

Just let her take you to court. What’s going to happen is that the judge will confirm with you and with her that you called to let her know your dog had passed away. Judges are reasonable and sensible. Most likely it will be a local magistrate. He or She is most likely to throw the case out and see through the BS situation. I also think it’s unlikely your dog groomer will want to a. Spend £200 to go to court plus any solicitors letters fees for a £35 debt. And b. Unlikely to want to attract poor publicity.
I suggest you leave a scathing review of her handling of the situation on Trust Pilot and any other site she relies on for business. Tell her what you will do about leaving the review and negotiate dropping it only if she cancels the debt. Good luck. Don’t be afraid of being taken to court. Make sure you counter claim for your time and emotional distress of dealing with it too if she does take it further!

maryberryslayers · 25/02/2025 06:33

S

maryberryslayers · 25/02/2025 06:36

Sorry for your loss. What an awful woman. She's clearly got a screw loose.

This is one of those times where a factual google/Facebook review is needed. She clearly isn't well suited to this business.

Littlemisscapable · 25/02/2025 06:37

Oh wow. Thought I had heard it all on here but this is a new one. She's totally batshit. Screenshot your text to her. Reply and firmly tell her how ridiculous this claim is. If she keeps going I would comment on her Facebook if she has one. Sorry about your dog.

RunningJo · 25/02/2025 06:59

I’m so sorry for your loss - it’s heartbreaking when we lose a pet. 💐

In regards to your utterly bonkers dog groomer, I’d put it in writing, sent recorded delivery to say that you informed her on date that your dog had died and you’re astounded that she didn’t comprehend that this was clearly notice that the appointment was no longer needed. That even in the ridiculous event that it wasn’t obvious to her why you wouldn’t need the appointment, you did in fact inform her however many days before , that your dog had died which is in line with her cancellation policy. However if she would like to waste time, money and potentially her reputation then you look forward to hearing from the small claims court.

She doesn’t have a leg to stand on. A judge wouldn’t take lightly to her pursuing what is a totally ridiculous claim, and he would certainly let her know that.

StarTrek1 · 25/02/2025 08:21

Sorry for your loss x

She is a callous and disingenuous business owner and saw an opportunity to try her luck.

3 weeks was plenty of time to fill that appointment slot.

I would like to see her try her luck in small claims.

gmgnts · 25/02/2025 09:40

Moveoverdarlin · 20/02/2025 00:34

This is the most bonkers thing I have ever read. She must be insane. And you are not being unreasonable. Why the bloody hell would you be keeping the appointment???

I would reply.

Hi Jane

I have to say I’m astounded by your response. Utterly astounded.

I’ve totted up the amount I’ve spent with you over the last 4 years and it’s just shy of a thousand pounds (£910 to be exact). And as you know, I recommended you to Sarah Jones and Clare Smith who really enjoy coming to you. If you want to pursue this for the sake of £35 then go ahead. I will await your correspondence.

Anyone with a modicum of common sense will understand that when I messaged you to tell you of my beloved Monty’s death that WAS notifying you that he would not be coming to his next appointment. What did you think I was going to do on the day of his appointment? Bring the dead dog? Bring his ashes? Or perhaps rather than cancel the appointment you could have given my husband’s toenails a quick trim and shaved his belly.

What a ridiculous ending to a great relationship. I will refrain from posting this encounter on social media but my goodness I think it will give our local village the best laugh they’ve had in a while.

Look forward to hearing from your solicitor.

Jo Bloggs.

This is a perfect message

zizza · 25/02/2025 10:07

Moveoverdarlin · 20/02/2025 00:34

This is the most bonkers thing I have ever read. She must be insane. And you are not being unreasonable. Why the bloody hell would you be keeping the appointment???

I would reply.

Hi Jane

I have to say I’m astounded by your response. Utterly astounded.

I’ve totted up the amount I’ve spent with you over the last 4 years and it’s just shy of a thousand pounds (£910 to be exact). And as you know, I recommended you to Sarah Jones and Clare Smith who really enjoy coming to you. If you want to pursue this for the sake of £35 then go ahead. I will await your correspondence.

Anyone with a modicum of common sense will understand that when I messaged you to tell you of my beloved Monty’s death that WAS notifying you that he would not be coming to his next appointment. What did you think I was going to do on the day of his appointment? Bring the dead dog? Bring his ashes? Or perhaps rather than cancel the appointment you could have given my husband’s toenails a quick trim and shaved his belly.

What a ridiculous ending to a great relationship. I will refrain from posting this encounter on social media but my goodness I think it will give our local village the best laugh they’ve had in a while.

Look forward to hearing from your solicitor.

Jo Bloggs.

This!

CunningLinguist1 · 25/02/2025 10:56

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

Let her come at you and try to "take it further". Your dog died (I'm so sorry for your loss!!! Dogs are fucking magic!), you told the groomer's. NO SANE PERSON would assume that doesn't mean a cancellation. It's the implied consequence of the dog passing away. What a plonker.

If she does indeed pursue it, I'd name and shame on TrustPilot. How utterly ridiculous! Stand your ground!

Devon23 · 25/02/2025 11:22

Wowser I hope you put a review on fb or trust pilot. Would cost more to take to court evidence of email would throw it out any how. What a cow!

Littlemisscapable · 25/02/2025 12:51

Moveoverdarlin · 20/02/2025 00:34

This is the most bonkers thing I have ever read. She must be insane. And you are not being unreasonable. Why the bloody hell would you be keeping the appointment???

I would reply.

Hi Jane

I have to say I’m astounded by your response. Utterly astounded.

I’ve totted up the amount I’ve spent with you over the last 4 years and it’s just shy of a thousand pounds (£910 to be exact). And as you know, I recommended you to Sarah Jones and Clare Smith who really enjoy coming to you. If you want to pursue this for the sake of £35 then go ahead. I will await your correspondence.

Anyone with a modicum of common sense will understand that when I messaged you to tell you of my beloved Monty’s death that WAS notifying you that he would not be coming to his next appointment. What did you think I was going to do on the day of his appointment? Bring the dead dog? Bring his ashes? Or perhaps rather than cancel the appointment you could have given my husband’s toenails a quick trim and shaved his belly.

What a ridiculous ending to a great relationship. I will refrain from posting this encounter on social media but my goodness I think it will give our local village the best laugh they’ve had in a while.

Look forward to hearing from your solicitor.

Jo Bloggs.

Yep. This is great...please send this.

Emmz1510 · 25/02/2025 12:58

I reckon she’s made a mistake and possibly forgot about the message regarding your dogs passing or got him mixed up with another dog. Either that or she is monumentally stupid. If it was a mistake, rather than just own it and say ‘oh I’m so sorry, I forgot to take Rex’s appointment out of my diary, you did tell me he had sadly passed. My mistake and again im so very sorry for your loss. I’ll cancel all future bookings’ she has chosen to blunder ahead and maintain you are in the wrong.
Let her know she is welcome to pursue it because you have proof you told her of your dogs death and any reasonable person would take that as a cancellation. Any more crap from her, name and shame on social media.

CustardySergeant · 25/02/2025 13:04

It seems clear that the OP will not be returning to her thread to respond to all these suggestions. I wonder what the point is, in starting a thread, never to return to it after the opening post. 😕

Penguinfeet24 · 25/02/2025 13:16

Is she smoking crack?! Don't pay up for goodness sake, let her do whatever she needs to because she won't get anywhere.

InfamyInfamytheyveallgotitinforme · 25/02/2025 13:26

@CustardySergeant I'm pretty sure the OP did respond early on in the thread but when I came back to look at the thread again those responses had disappeared. I might be misremembering.

BexAubs20 · 25/02/2025 13:27

Is she actually crazy?! wtf?! Yes I’d tell her to take it further and that you will be informing all your friends/ family/ social media of how she’s treating you! For someone who presumably loves dogs you would think she would have a bit more sympathy! It’s completely obvious to any sane person you wouldn’t be attending. So I can only assume she’s crazy!

Goodtogossip · 25/02/2025 14:27

I'm so sorry for your loss. The Groomer doesn't have a leg to stand on & probably won't take you to the Smalls Claims Court for such a small amount.
When you're less upset message her explaining that the phone call to her 2 weeks before the appointment letting her know your boy had passed was you letting her know you wouldn't be needing the appointment. Tell her that you're very shocked & upset that she is demanding money from you at an already difficult time. Tell her you will be seeking advice about her harassing you if she doesn't cease demanding payment. Always message by text or Whatsapp so you have proof you've responded to her.

SwingasanPsychologist · 25/02/2025 18:13

She’s an idiot and being fresh. By any “reasonable person” standard, notification of death is notification to cancel. Tell her to take you to court if she disagrees. You do NOT owe her money.

Ritzybitzy · 25/02/2025 19:13

You shouldn’t have paid.

Notifying her the dog is dead is obviously going to translate to him not attending his future appointments.

She could have attempted to sue you but would never have persuade a judge there was reasonable grounds to think “he’s dead” didn’t translate to appointments being cancelled.

Flipflop223 · 26/02/2025 19:32

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

Firstly, don’t pay. That’s just crazy. If she wants to take you to the small claims court, then fine. It will go nowhere.

secondly, this is clearly her error. She should have realised and cancelled it herself. Reading this, I actually wondered if she’s autistic. Autistic people can be very literal and I can fully imagine someone hearing that and not thinking that that means the booking is cancelled. I’ve seen similar kinds of situations happen as a consequence of the literal thinking. I’ve also come across a lot of dog groomers who are autistic. Just a thought.

but that’s obviously not right and tell her you’re not paying and it’s her admin error.