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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
Pinkapie · 24/02/2025 20:47

This is horrible, so sorry you are going through this. Definitely write a review and let others know about her terrible behaviour, I wouldn't want her anywhere near my animals.

Viviennemary · 24/02/2025 20:51

She is a complete insensitive idiot. Of course if you informed her your dog had died that meant the grooming was cancelled. Don't pay her a penny.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 24/02/2025 20:51

That’s awful, how can she claim she didn’t know you were cancelling when you told her your dog had passed away??

I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard losing a beloved pet.

Definitely leave an honest review, it’s very unreasonable on the groomers behalf!

Sunnyandaway · 24/02/2025 20:53

What a dumb thick woman. Is she local? Put this on your local fb group and expose her for the heartless woman she is. How dumb can she be.

Catpuss66 · 24/02/2025 20:57

Sorry for your loss this might help

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

let her take you to court hopefully you have her response from you informing her of your loss. Think she has cocked up here now she cannot back down.

BettyBardMacDonald · 24/02/2025 21:00

She's an incredibly insensitive twat.

Tell her that if she takes any action, you will devote yourself to using every social media platform available to disseminate this story in your community, that you will create flyers and post them door-to-door describing the scenario, that you will visit every veterinary surgery, dog park and popular dog walking trail in a 15-mile radius and that you will relentlessly tell every dog owner your encounter about her poor comprehension, her hard-heartedness and her ridiculous policy.

If you stick to the absolute objective truth - history as client, your pet's date of death, your call to the groomer, dates of dunning notices, etc., you should be legally in the clear. There is no law against telling all and sundry about these conversations. Her reputation is at stake here and she would be wise to apologize and move on.

PlanningTowns · 24/02/2025 21:02

She is clearly a fuckwit!

you have the evidence you informed her of your lively dogs passing, she is bonkers if she then expected a formal email cancelling.

I would respond to her as someone said above, but I also wouldn’t hold back on social media - being factual of course. That alone would do damage to her business of more than £35. In our area people are always asking for recommendations, you can say you do not recommend her and when they ask, tell them.

ladymammalade · 24/02/2025 21:05

She's a fucking moron. And I'm so sorry about your dog. I wouldn't be paying her either.

asprinklingofsugar · 24/02/2025 21:09

I lost my dog the end of last year and I’m still heartbroken. If this had happened to me I would’ve immediately burst into tears. I’m not an emotional person in general but losing my dog has been awful and this behaviour absolutely would have set me off.

This groomer is not only ridiculous but also cruel. Obviously you weren’t going to be using the appointment and it’s so stupid of her not to just cancel them all and try and rebook (if she’s that in demand rebooking ought to have been easy). To be doubling down because of a mistake she made instead of apologising because of the distress caused is horrible.

If she’s threatening this because of money concerns well frankly if she can’t afford to swallow a one off £35 because of an error on her part she’s got bigger issues. But it seems more like she is being pigheaded and stubborn and purposefully mean now. How unsympathetic and upsetting when she should understand how devastating losing a dog can be.

I’d definitely be mentioning it to as many friends and neighbours as possible - especially those with dogs. Hopefully they at least could then avoid going through this themselves.

I'm so sorry about your dog but it sounds like you gave him a lot of love and I’m sure he was very happy with you.

pentangles · 24/02/2025 21:15

YANBU!

My sincerest sympathies. I lost my lovely cat 6 years ago and haven't been able to get another since. We don't have kids so he was my world. It is a phenomenal heart wrench and will take time.
And something I recall feeling when my dad died in 2013: whoever hurts me now, shall hurt me for the rest of my life. And whoever is kind to me now, is my friend.

Best wishes to you, and thank you for giving a loving home to one of our wonderful hairy brethren (or sistren, lol).

IndigoBrave · 24/02/2025 21:15

This Is insane.

please let her take it further to see her cases be laughed at at a small claims court

Bethany83 · 24/02/2025 21:17

I am so sorry for your dog :( at what is already an awfully sad time for you, her horrendous behaviour is simply shocking. There must be something so wrong with her, incredibly stupid to put it politely and majorly lacking in any type of empathy.
Do not give the threat of her taking it further any head space AT ALL. Informing her your dog has died is equivalent to cancelling an appointment. So you did cancel it, think of it like that. Because any person with half a brain cell would equate the death of a dog to the cancellation of an appointment. She should be ashamed of how she has treated you. Sending you a huge cyber hug xxx all us loving dog owners are with you in solitary xxx

Navyontop · 24/02/2025 21:20

I’m so sorry for your loss. xx

You are obviously in the right and she’s obviously unhinged.

Janus · 24/02/2025 21:24

She’s insane!! Of course telling her that your poor dog had passed away was your notice that you wouldn’t be attending any further appointments. She is very lucky you aren’t putting a review on her socials to say you are being chased for payment for your dog who has passed despite telling her this, I think I would have been less polite.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dog too, it takes a great deal of time to process and begin to accept so I really am sorry x

Greypanda86 · 24/02/2025 21:32

She’s an arsehole and she won’t do anything further so don’t worry about it

TwoRobins · 24/02/2025 21:33

I'm so sorry you've got to put up with this stress on top of losing your beautiful dog. This woman sounds unhinged.

Mh67 · 24/02/2025 21:33

Do you have proof you contacted her to tell her about your dog passing. If so yes ignore her. If not I'm not sure as it would be your word against hers. You dont want a black mark on your credit score.

lemonylantern · 24/02/2025 21:34

Wow, how heartless of the groomer. I’m so sorry OP.

BettyBardMacDonald · 24/02/2025 21:37

Mh67 · 24/02/2025 21:33

Do you have proof you contacted her to tell her about your dog passing. If so yes ignore her. If not I'm not sure as it would be your word against hers. You dont want a black mark on your credit score.

If the OP uses a smartphone, hopefully there will be record of the call.

Voneska · 24/02/2025 21:38

May be you could counter claim for harrassment for funds' which is an offense in itself. Go for it!!!!!!!!!!

SnappyLineSwan1961 · 24/02/2025 21:40

Don't pay, crazy woman. You would have thought she woukd have gone to her book and cancelled the appointments. Legally she is being an arse. Sorry for your loss. Just ignore her

Sowhatistheendgame · 24/02/2025 21:47

Just adding to the consensus. You’re in the right. She’s a dick. Do not pay her anything.

Itsallaboutme2021 · 24/02/2025 22:32

This woman sounds like a d**k!!! You told her your dog had passed…. She won’t take it further it’s too much hassle for £35. Just keep the messages from when you told her he had passed as evidence in case. She is not a good business woman and needs to learn a bit more about running a business and how to deal with people in hard times. Sorry for your loss as well. X

Oakiedoakie · 24/02/2025 22:34

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog, OP. You shouldn't be having to deal with this nonsense. You informed her that your pet had died, why would she think you needed a grooming appointment after that? Please don't let this worry you and take care of yourself.

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 24/02/2025 22:35

Oh dear OP. So sorry for your loss.

As for the groomer you gave her notice when you said the dog passed away. Was it a phone call or a text?
What was she expecting, you bringing a substitute for the service? Did you have to pay as well in advance or you just block the days and pay when you receive the service?
I would shame her on her business page. Terrible customer care and awful behaviour for a grieving customer.

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