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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 20/02/2025 00:06

Erm what on earth

This is just so beyond the realms of ridiculousness

Of course you're right here

I'm really sorry about your lovely dog.

Is this person stupid

Ella31 · 20/02/2025 00:09

I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely dog, I'm horrified by this. Surely your text to her about your pets death was obvious enough. I genuinely don't know the legal recourse here but I'd have to think any court, or solicitor would laugh at their insane behaviour.

She has absolutely no empathy that's for sure

1dontunderstand · 20/02/2025 00:10

As a business, she might have insurance to cover costs of having to take someone to small claims court due to non payment. But any reasonable person would infer that you would not be using the appointment because your dog was dead, and if you can prove that she was aware that he had passed before the appointment, then she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

If you have a record of you telling her that your boy died, a text or WhatsApp, your phone record of the when you told her of his passing, or even a recent text where she confirms she was aware of it, then tell her to go ahead.

She is ridiculous and I'm so sorry for your loss

Kpo58 · 20/02/2025 00:11

What planet is the groomer on? Was she expecting you to take your dog into her taxidermied?! If she really wasn't sure if you still wanted the sessions or not after you had told her that your dog had died, she should have asked you.

ARealitycheck · 20/02/2025 00:12

Astounded that a supposed pet caring business behaves like this. I don't normally say stick it on facebook, but in this case share with world. What a see you next tuesday.

EcoCustard · 20/02/2025 00:13

Sorry for the loss of your dog. The dog groomer seems ott. I would have thought saying your ddog had passed away was more than enough confirmation of cancellation. I wouldn’t be paying. When I lost one of my dogs (was over a year ago) I called our groomer as we had an appointment for a few weeks later for both our dogs. She said sorry, noted the change. A few days later we got a lovely card in the post with a lovely message & some daft things that ddog used to do at hers. I would reiterate not paying & tell her she’s being unreasonable.

Saphire123 · 20/02/2025 00:13

I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely dog, it truly is a bereavement when we lose a beloved pet.
The groomer is a fool, and incredibly insensitive.
You cancelled all further appointments when you told her your dog had died.

File her further correspondence in the bin.

Nameftgigb · 20/02/2025 00:14

She’s absolutely ridiculous. She can’t get the money from you unless she takes you to court, which I’d welcome as they’d laugh her back right out of it. I’m a bit of a knob so I’d either name and shame her on social media (where I guess she gets a lot of business), or I’d ask her when and where she expects the body as it will be fairly ripe (sorry for being awful but that would make me so angry)!

PlantDoctor · 20/02/2025 00:14

She messed up and is trying to brazen it out. You're not in the wrong at all. I'm so sorry for your loss.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/02/2025 00:15

She'll get nowhere if she tries to take you to small claims court. Make sure you have screenshots of your conversation before she tries to delete them.

You said you block booked. Are there more bookings she might pull the same stunt for? I wouldn't cancel them as it might look like you think she's right and you should have cancelled in the first place.

I'm sorry about your ddog 🐾

BestDIL · 20/02/2025 00:16

So sorry for your loss. What horrible person. On what planet must she be on to think that your dog would still keep his appointment? Definitely do not pay her and stop recommending her. If you get another dog, find another groomer. I doubt she will take things further but if she does then do what @1dontunderstandsuggests.

Merrygoround8 · 20/02/2025 00:16

Ignore anything else from her, if she wants to take you to small claims then so be it! FYI the fee to log a claim I think is about £30, so given this is similar to the appt fee she apparently is chasing - she won’t!!!

She’s wildly crazy. A shame she’s lost you as a customer should you ever get another furry family member, and after you recommended her too.

so sorry xx

PersephoneSmith · 20/02/2025 00:16

texting her to tell her your dog had died was notice enough that future appointments were cancelled. You know that, tell her to crack on with ‘taking things further’

Millyjanice · 20/02/2025 00:21

Sorry for your loss, OP.
This person is completely insensitive and has no empathy.
She sounds crazy enough to try to take it further and cause you more distress.
However it’s unlikely as it would cost her money.

I’d just ignore her.

What a stupid woman she is!

FloofyKat · 20/02/2025 00:22

That’s shocking behaviour from the groomer. I’d either ignore or email back to say that as you had advised her well before her 48 hour deadline that your DD had sadly died, it was blatantly obvious that you would no longer be requiring the appointment, or any future appointments. And that you will not be responding to any further unwarranted messages from her.

So sorry about your dog, I know how upset you must be feeling.

Silverjellybean71 · 20/02/2025 00:25

I don’t even have the words to describe how ridiculous this groomer is, but I want to say I’m sorry about your dog, they’re a huge part of our lives. It’s sad that he was just a part of her bank balance 🥲

steff13 · 20/02/2025 00:26

Wow, that is heartless. I'd be tempted to tell her to take it further. I'd definitely leave a bad review.

BlondiePortz · 20/02/2025 00:28

I would call and ask how they wanted you to fulfull the appointment?

tinygingermum · 20/02/2025 00:29

I’m sorry for your loss.

The groomer sounds batshit crazy, and on another planet.

Sleepington · 20/02/2025 00:34

I'm sorry you lost your beloved dog.

The groomer is certifiable.

I'd message her one more time with a copy of the message showing she was aware he had passed away, and request her not to contact you again. If she persists, start leaving reviews on Google and the local pages that she advertises on (not her business page as she can remove them) outlining what happened. Be factual, not emotional so it can't come back at you.

Moveoverdarlin · 20/02/2025 00:34

This is the most bonkers thing I have ever read. She must be insane. And you are not being unreasonable. Why the bloody hell would you be keeping the appointment???

I would reply.

Hi Jane

I have to say I’m astounded by your response. Utterly astounded.

I’ve totted up the amount I’ve spent with you over the last 4 years and it’s just shy of a thousand pounds (£910 to be exact). And as you know, I recommended you to Sarah Jones and Clare Smith who really enjoy coming to you. If you want to pursue this for the sake of £35 then go ahead. I will await your correspondence.

Anyone with a modicum of common sense will understand that when I messaged you to tell you of my beloved Monty’s death that WAS notifying you that he would not be coming to his next appointment. What did you think I was going to do on the day of his appointment? Bring the dead dog? Bring his ashes? Or perhaps rather than cancel the appointment you could have given my husband’s toenails a quick trim and shaved his belly.

What a ridiculous ending to a great relationship. I will refrain from posting this encounter on social media but my goodness I think it will give our local village the best laugh they’ve had in a while.

Look forward to hearing from your solicitor.

Jo Bloggs.

Frillysweetpea · 20/02/2025 00:39

Echoing everyone else - she is crazy and heartless. Big hug and stick to your guns.

TheMixedGirl · 20/02/2025 00:40

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost 2 of mine less than a year apart. It is very difficult. Save any messages or correspondence where you informed her of your pets passing. Let her take it further it's laughable. Stating a dog has passed would count as informing the groomer. She's stupid. Write a bad review everywhere.

Lampshadeblue · 20/02/2025 00:41

I’m so sorry for your loss. Of course the text telling her you dog has passed away was also letting her know future grooming was not required. I don’t normally recommend negative reviews but I would put your experience on social media (with quotes from her email if necessary). As a dog owner I would want to know if I was leaving my dog alone with someone with obviously such little compassion.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 20/02/2025 00:46

Yanbu, she is an absolute twat

I wouldn't worry, just respond with what has happened and state that you won't be paying!

So sorry for your loss xx

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