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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 20/02/2025 02:02

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dog. It is horrendously painful.

No, you don't pay her and what is she going to do about it? She could take you to a small claims court, but she'd have to pay the fees for doing so, which will potentially be more than the claim for the invoice. I can't remember the sums, but you can look it up.

What is she going to do if she submits a claim to the small claims court? Give her evidence of you not attending. Well then you have the right to submit evidence/information. If you have that evidence, via text, I'd doubt a court would not take your text message of your dog passing, and her acknowledgement of it via text, as proof that there was to be no further appointments.

You can look all this up by searching small claims on the HMRC website.

If what you say is true, she doesn't have a leg to stand on, and I have no legal qualifications, but I've had to go down this path myself, taking someone to the small claims court. They paid up.

Good luck OP, I'm sorry for your loss, and if what you are saying is true, then she's an unprofessional bitch, doesn't have a chance of getting money off you and you should leave some factual feedback for her business.

AnonAnon64 · 20/02/2025 02:40

I’m so sorry about your dog - it’s heartbreaking. This is the most batshit I’ve ever read on Mumsnet. Ignore her. She has behaved appallingly.

ComfyCosyLemonPosy · 20/02/2025 06:09

Screen shot your message and get straight on social media...you gave her business that way and so you can take it away.

MelainesLaugh · 20/02/2025 06:15

That’s awful. I’m a carer and if I’m told a client has passed away then I know that’s cancelling their calls.

I would be letting her know you aren’t paying, you’d informed her with plenty of notice and you’re disappointed with her attitude

So sorry about your dog too

ButDoYouAvocado · 20/02/2025 06:18

I am a groomer and have similar terms. This has happened in my salon too but the difference is I messaged the client to apologise profusely for her receiving reminders for an appointment for her poor pet. I felt awful about it.

The groomer is entirely in the wrong here. She can’t do anything about it either.

sorry for your loss xx

Youcanttakeanelephantonthebus · 20/02/2025 06:25

I'd send photos of an empty room and say you're very annoyed about the poor job she did with your imaginary dog and want a full refund.

DimplesToadfoot · 20/02/2025 06:32

I am so sorry for loss 💐

The woman is barking, she sure doesn't know how to run a business, when you get your next dog he/she might need grooming too but she's already lost you as a customer. Lost me too if I find out its the groomer I use.

Please don't pay her

Teanbiscuits33 · 20/02/2025 06:33

She will do nothing. It will cost her money to take it to small claims so it won’t be worth her time over £35. She’s clearly not a very astute business woman, is she? Because for the sake of £35 which she isn’t even entitled to, she’s ruined any potential of you taking any future pets to her or recommending her to any more potential clients that could continue to use her services for years.

Pursuing you over this is absolutely ridiculous, not to mention insensitive. She’s as thick as shit.

FOJN · 20/02/2025 06:33

I'm sorry about your dog.

Ignore the groomer. There is no reason to engage with someone whose complaint is going nowhere. Her insensitivity will only upset you. If she is mad enough to take it to the small claims court then all you will have to produce is the message you sent her telling her your dog had died and the response she sent you acknowledging she had received your notification.

Some people are just batshit, she sounds like she might be one of them.

Floofyboy2010 · 20/02/2025 06:36

ARealitycheck · 20/02/2025 00:12

Astounded that a supposed pet caring business behaves like this. I don't normally say stick it on facebook, but in this case share with world. What a see you next tuesday.

Absolutely this. We've just lost our cat. If someone did this to me I'd go bloody nuclear. Sorry OP 😞

LoudSnoringDog · 20/02/2025 06:38

Tell her to piss off

Horrendous woman

DinoLil · 20/02/2025 06:38

Good god!! What is she thinking?! How absolutely cold hearted.

I'm so sorry you've lost your best friend, OP. I was three hours from losing mine last week due to illness that was sudden. I had a dog training and a dog sitter booked, cancelled both with less than 24hrs notice and neither of them have charged me. I have regular texts asking how she is, instead.

I'm honestly lost for words.

As others have said, keep any emails or messages saved where you've told her about Ddogs passing.

What a shitty thing to do.

I'd be tempted to put something on SM tbh.

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 20/02/2025 06:41

I’m sorry to hear you feel this way.

by “taking things further” i assume you are giving me notice that you intend to pursue legal action against me for the £35 fee for a missed session without notice. I will of course submit as evidence to such an action my text to you two weeks prior to the appointment that my dog had died, and your acknowledgment of this.

You would have to show a court how you reasonably thought after that exchange that my dog would still be attending the appointment. I look forward to your response.

Hellohah · 20/02/2025 06:43

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️

I agree with others. Make sure you screenshot the messages and I would post it all over social media in your local area. I'd be fuming xx

EleanorReally · 20/02/2025 06:44

that is terrible
tempted to shame her on facebook, but that of course wouldnt help
so sorry

Toddlerteaplease · 20/02/2025 06:45

Ella31 · 20/02/2025 00:09

I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely dog, I'm horrified by this. Surely your text to her about your pets death was obvious enough. I genuinely don't know the legal recourse here but I'd have to think any court, or solicitor would laugh at their insane behaviour.

She has absolutely no empathy that's for sure

Absolutely this. Don't take any future dogs there.

tothelefttotheleft · 20/02/2025 06:48

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Great draft reply.

PleaseAndThankYou12 · 20/02/2025 06:49

I'm so sorry for your loss OP Flowers pets really are part of the family. I'm still not completely over losing our little angel and she's gone almost 18 years.

You don't need to be dealing with this utter nonsense on top of your grief, and I'm sorry you are.

She is 100% in the wrong here, and I am so shocked that she's trying to stick to her guns.

I'd be surprised if you did, but if you receive anything further from her, ignore it. I highly doubt this would stand up in court which is where I'm assuming she plans to take it further.

I echo what PPs are saying - post reviews on her social media to show what she's done. That'll cost her a lot more than £35 in business!

Oh, and make sure you tell anyone you've recommended her to about this.

Gosh I'm seething on your behalf Angry

Safxxx · 20/02/2025 06:52

Totally ridiculous 😯 Do not pay her as you told her in advance he had passed away. She clearly didn't care enough to cancel it herself and now is harassing you. Sorry for your loss, hope you still got proof of message sent to let her know he had gone.Tell her clients how petty she is and leave her a review in Google

LoudSnoringDog · 20/02/2025 06:54

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 20/02/2025 06:41

I’m sorry to hear you feel this way.

by “taking things further” i assume you are giving me notice that you intend to pursue legal action against me for the £35 fee for a missed session without notice. I will of course submit as evidence to such an action my text to you two weeks prior to the appointment that my dog had died, and your acknowledgment of this.

You would have to show a court how you reasonably thought after that exchange that my dog would still be attending the appointment. I look forward to your response.

Perfect

Eenameenadeeka · 20/02/2025 06:56

She's actually insane that is rediculous. I'm so sorry for your loss.

TheBeautifulSausage · 20/02/2025 06:58

I wouldn't even bother replying.

Block her, leave a factual review and move on. She is not going to do anything about it and would come up short if she tried, so ignore her.

Thisismyusername3 · 20/02/2025 07:00

Omg that’s terrible!! You told her he died, doesn’t get much clearer than that that he doesn’t need grooming anymore. Let her ‘take things further’ and I’d be telling everyone what sort of person she is!!! 😮 sorry about your dog x

NetZeroZealot · 20/02/2025 07:01

Name her and shame her on Facebook

DazedDragon · 20/02/2025 07:03

What a stupid woman the dog groomer is.

You notified her the dog was DEAD! Of course dead dogs don't need grooming so you absolutely gave her notice that no more appointments would be needed.

If she was too incompetent to cancel them and realise that a dead dog doesn't need a groomer then OMG she really isn't very bright.

I would leave a factual negative review stating that you notified her that your dog had died then 2 weeks later she is trying to charge you for a missed appointment and threatening legal action if you don't pay.

Ps - sorry for the loss of your dog.

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