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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
shockthemonkey · 20/02/2025 08:41

This is salt-in-the-wound territory. How stupid of her.

Send the response as posted by @Moveoverdarlin

A big hug from a fellow dog lover, and courage for the road ahead - grief will be your boss for quite some time, in all its unpredictable cruelty.

Cosyblankets · 20/02/2025 08:43

I'm not one for slating businesses on social media but I'd make an exception in this case. I'd have it on every community page i could think of

Graniteisaverygoodsurface · 20/02/2025 08:44

Dear Barking Bubbles,

Given I formally notified you that my dog had died, I’m not sure what you thought you were going to be grooming at the blocked booking appointments? However, for the avoidance of any doubt all further appointments are to be cancelled immediately due to the absence of the dog, who we have now buried with a sweet family funeral.

Regards
Janet

Then just block her number and email. And leave a factual review stating what she did (remove all the emotion from it).

RedPlumJam · 20/02/2025 08:45

I actually just couldn’t believe this was real but I see you’ve posted in the past op.

What the actual fuck! What a horrible, heartless, dense, greedy toad this person is. I agree with pp it’s time to post this on sm.

I am so sorry for your loss of your darling dog.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 20/02/2025 08:46

OP message her back and tell her to take whatever action she wants, as you have no intention of paying her because you clearly told her your dog had passed away, two weeks before the appointment was due. No court would see this as anything other than informing her you would not be keeping the appointment.

If you still have the message advising her of that, screenshot it and say that you will use it in your own defence should she want to take things further. I’d also be amending my review of her service by describing exactly what happened on as many review sites as you can. l wonder how existing/potential new customers would feel on finding out she’s heartless and fully prepared to try to extort money from a grieving customer.

And l’m so sorry for your loss OP.

RedPlumJam · 20/02/2025 08:47

jellyfishperiwinkle · 20/02/2025 01:25

I'd normally advise politely telling someone to fuck off, as a lawyer, and specialise in polite fuck off letters.

In this case I'd just phone her up and tell her to fuck off to the far side of fuck. And I'd certainly be leaving a factual review on Google saying exactly what she had done, with a side order of reporting her to trading standards for her disgraceful attempt to blag money off me.

FYI - As my cats are of mature years I just asked the vets if there was any tie-in to the monthly care plan they are on if they were to pass away. They replied that it would be cancelled as soon as we told them the cat passed away (or of course if they were PTS at the vet's). That's the way it should be done.

And I'm so sorry for your loss. 💐

Edited

I’m also a lawyer and I concur 👍

JT69 · 20/02/2025 08:47

Sorry for your loss op. The groomer is an idiot and lacking compassion. It must be very upsetting at this time. Ignore her.loving the lawyers advice!

Hotflushesandchilblains · 20/02/2025 08:47

That is one of the craziest things I have read. I am so sorry. Your groomer is batshit to think you telling her your lovely dog had died is not cancelling the appointment. I would be sure to tell everyone that she did this because it is beyond cruel.

ChristmasPudd1990 · 20/02/2025 08:47

I'm so sorry about your dog.

You told her about your sad news. It was up to her to then cancel any further appointments.
If she's demanding money,tell her "wasn't me telling you he had passed enough?

I'd also tell her her behaviour is incredibly painful.

Do NOT pay her.

Dancingatthepinkponyclub · 20/02/2025 08:48

What a horrible woman!
Of course you’re not wrong!
Sorry for your loss. Ignore her. She’ll get nowhere trying to pursue this! You notified her of the death.. that’s sufficient!!

loveawineloveacrisp · 20/02/2025 08:49

She's crazy. Don't pay up. Of course she should have assumed the appointment was cancelled.

So sorry about your dog, you must be devastated.

bigfoot40 · 20/02/2025 08:49

Seems nuts! Even if she thought you were going to get another dog right away and still want to keep the future appointment, she could have message saying 'sorry to hear ddog passed away, we'll miss seeing you both at the salon'. If you didn't reply saying you wanted to keep the booking, then she'd have her confirmation. As it is, she's just cost herself any future business she may have had with you if you ever needed a groomer again!

QueenArnica · 20/02/2025 08:51

Sorry to hear about your dog, they really do break out hearts when they leave us.

The groomer is totally in the wrong here, I would just maybe send a more formal email outlining the facts and let her get on with it.

StasisMom · 20/02/2025 08:55

An appointment for you, ok, but your poor dog, NO!! I am so sorry, this is so unreasonable and unkind!

paintfairy · 20/02/2025 08:56

What on earth. Firstly I think (if it was my business) and you'd forgot to inform me your dog had died, I'd probably wave the cancellation fee. Because I'm a dog lover and a human being and it's the right thing to do.
But the fact you told her makes this even worse! I can't believe someone would even say this. If you've got proof you told her (a message/ email that you can save for evidence) i would tell her to do one. I also wouldn't be recommending someone so heartless to other customers.

I'm sorry about your dog though. It really is rubbish. 😔

2024YR4 · 20/02/2025 08:59

Tell her to fuck off ! Notification of death was the cancellation. Is she stupid ??!!

Im sorry for your loss Flowers

KimberleyClark · 20/02/2025 09:01

I’m so sorry for the loss of your boy. The groomer is being unbelievably ridiculous.

flowertoday · 20/02/2025 09:07

I think the dog groomer is being absolutely ridiculous, not to mention thoughtless and unkind. This is all on her and not on you.
Do not pay her under any circumstances. Make sure she is aware of this and perhaps advise her for future reference that pets that have passed away don't need grooming- as if she doesn't know .....😶
So sorry for the loss of your dog xxx

Sprookjesbos · 20/02/2025 09:08

Just adding to the chorus of yanbu.
We lost our dog back in October, it was devastating, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how I would have handled this to be honest with you.
I would absolutely share this on local Facebook. She is being completely unreasonable. I wonder if she forgot you told her he had died and then out of embarrassment just doubled down.
As others have said, I think in her shoes I would waive £35 even if you hadn't informed her, but had rang afterwards and apologised. She sounds horrible.

cryinglaughing · 20/02/2025 09:11

Sorry to hear you lost your dog, it is such an upsetting time 😢

The groomer is batshit, or just plain thick.
I would give her correspondence no more thought.

howshouldibehave · 20/02/2025 09:13

How horrible. I generally don't agree with airing dirty laundry in public but I would be tempted to post on your local neighbourhood group some sort of 'Just making people aware that should your pet die, letting the grooming company know isn't enough for them to cancel their appointment and that they will still bill you regardless. I'm so upset and don't want anyone else to fall foul of this bizarre policy!'

I think she has been utterly heartless and deserves to have a bad review left for this.

2024YR4 · 20/02/2025 09:13

Screenshot your messages and just tell her youll see her in court then (doubt she even has a case for £35!)

Tortielady · 20/02/2025 09:16

I agree with what others have said. I don't think I've come across grubbier behaviour and wonder what a court would make of it. Like other human institutions, courts are made up of animal lovers as well as legal sticklers and those who are both. It's unlikely to come to that as your erstwhile dog groomer is probably trying her luck; I'd be surprised if she doesn't back down as soon as she realises that the cost of bringing a small claims case is. . .£35. A case as flimsy as hers is unlikely to win, so she probably won't get her money back.

You would be well advised to write to her formally, keeping the emotion out of it but making clear that your reviews on Trustpilot etc will reflect this incident as will comments to family and friends in real life and online. Several pps have offered excellent templates. It's up to you of course, but I won't lie, I'd be tempted to go down the Daily Mail route too. They love a good animal story. Your groomer would soon realise the very high cost of gouging petty cash sums from grieving customers. . .if the understanding hasn't already dawned on her.

mumda · 20/02/2025 09:24

Write a reply and put it on social.

Dear groomer
As we told you on X our beloved dog has died.
When I told you this, it was not because you are a family friend but because you're the person who grooms him. I assumed, wrongly it seems, that you would take the news if his death as cancellation of his appointments. This death notice was in clear excess of any cancellation notice required.

As you haven't then please take note that dear X will not be attending his grooming appointments at any point in the future. He's dead.

If you would like to take me to court for giving you notice he was dead and not a full cancellation letter then please do. I look forward to you explaining to a judge why you would consider the dead dog would attend the appointment.

Yours

PennyKitchen · 20/02/2025 09:24

She's an idiot. If she tries to take it further then they will take you informing her the dog was dead as formal notice to cancel the appointment. In the meantime I'd ask her to stop contacting you or you will be leaving bad reviews and letting people know exactly how she runs her business.

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