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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
ASunnyWeekend · 20/02/2025 07:06

She will be laughed at if she does try to take this any further. I would certainly be posting about your horrendous experience on social media. Sorry for the loss of your dog

Theunamedcat · 20/02/2025 07:08

Sorry for your loss

Does she have your card details? Would it be worth speaking to the bank?

Zonder · 20/02/2025 07:08

You gave her notice! You told her he has died. Did she think you were still going to bring him?

I would be posting this on her social media.

mjf981 · 20/02/2025 07:10

This is almost unbelieveable.

But if it is indeed true - I'd be blasting her on social media. I never do this, but in this case...you can definitely justify it. I'd be livid and very upset.

Strictlymad · 20/02/2025 07:24

Moveoverdarlin · 20/02/2025 00:34

This is the most bonkers thing I have ever read. She must be insane. And you are not being unreasonable. Why the bloody hell would you be keeping the appointment???

I would reply.

Hi Jane

I have to say I’m astounded by your response. Utterly astounded.

I’ve totted up the amount I’ve spent with you over the last 4 years and it’s just shy of a thousand pounds (£910 to be exact). And as you know, I recommended you to Sarah Jones and Clare Smith who really enjoy coming to you. If you want to pursue this for the sake of £35 then go ahead. I will await your correspondence.

Anyone with a modicum of common sense will understand that when I messaged you to tell you of my beloved Monty’s death that WAS notifying you that he would not be coming to his next appointment. What did you think I was going to do on the day of his appointment? Bring the dead dog? Bring his ashes? Or perhaps rather than cancel the appointment you could have given my husband’s toenails a quick trim and shaved his belly.

What a ridiculous ending to a great relationship. I will refrain from posting this encounter on social media but my goodness I think it will give our local village the best laugh they’ve had in a while.

Look forward to hearing from your solicitor.

Jo Bloggs.

Perfect response

MyDeftDuck · 20/02/2025 07:24

The very fact that you informed the groomer that your dog had died should have been adequate notification that the forthcoming, and any other block-booked, appointments, would not be required. If she didn't have the intelligence to take your dog off her system then she is either stupid or taking her own business terms and conditions beyond ridiculousness! I doubt she will take this to the small claims court - it will cost her far more.

Devon24 · 20/02/2025 07:25

What a bitch. Clearly she can not groom a dog that has already died. Awful behaviour, I am so sorry op.

Devon24 · 20/02/2025 07:26

I would not worry about a small claims court - you informed her of his passing - this is beyond ridiculous and incredibly greedy of her at a time when you are grief stricken.

Londonrach1 · 20/02/2025 07:30

Yanbu. You did notify her that sadly your dog has died. Sorry for your loss. What a horrible nasty person the groomer is. I'd be tempted to leave a factual review

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 20/02/2025 07:34

PlantDoctor · 20/02/2025 00:14

She messed up and is trying to brazen it out. You're not in the wrong at all. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think this is it. She's forgotten to cancel the appointment, the automated messages have gone out, and instead of apologising and accepting responsibility she's gone full idiot.

Ignore her.

IButtleSir · 20/02/2025 07:36

Review her business on all available platforms explaining what happened. That will end up costing her a hell of a lot more than £35.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dog.

warmcatsofa · 20/02/2025 07:36

Greedy cunt. Tell her you’ll be happy to take it further so that all her customers can be made aware of how she runs her business.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 20/02/2025 07:37

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

Firstly, I am so sorry about your lovely dog, you must be heartbroken. Secondly, you are completely in the right here, how she could even think she has any moral high ground here I do not know. You did let her know because anyone with a brain would have cancelled your appointment once you had told her he’d died.

I would send her one final message telling her you’re not paying and that she can do her worst in ‘taking things further’. I would also be telling people how heartless she is.

Sending hugs from one dog owner to another, we lost our beautiful girl almost exactly a year ago and we were completely devastated, but it does get easier 💐

welshgirl1306 · 20/02/2025 07:38

Sorry for the loss of your dog. It is such an upsetting time for you but I would post this on facebook and you will get the local reaction to her being totally unreasonable. She will soon see how wrong she is

toomuchfaff · 20/02/2025 07:42

I am so so so sorry about your dog.

Groomer is batshit crazy

I'd tell her such and I'd slam her in ever review i could find giving the exact reason that even when she knows a beloved dog has died she chases for payment of an uncancelled appointment

Don't pay it. What is she going to do? sue you? don't think so.

Am so angry

pilates · 20/02/2025 07:46

Sorry for your loss. I am fuming on your behalf. Words fail how someone can be so insensitive. Honestly, the threat of taking it further, where exactly? How upsetting for you. 💐

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 20/02/2025 07:48

Stick to your guns - you told her he had died, that should have been confirmation enough for her!

So sorry for your loss, I remember the pain well 💔

FallingIsLearning · 20/02/2025 07:49

I am very sorry to hear this.

Not only is this absolutely callous and ridiculous, it is a stupid move from her as it loses further business - from you if you ever got another pet again, and from everybody else you speak to.

Bananaram · 20/02/2025 07:56

Wow, I am absolutely flabbergasted 😳 did she think you were just going to pick up a random dog off the street and take them for a hair cut?!

You are absolutely not being ridiculous, she is going to lose a lot more than £35 if people find out how callous (and quite frankly stupid) she is. I would be tagging her on Facebook and posting to her page if I were you.

I'm so sorry about your dog

LovelyLeitrim · 20/02/2025 07:57

Sorry about your dog.

I never advocate social media posts knocking local businesses, but this is the exception to my rule.

I think she’s lost the bloody plot!

auscan · 20/02/2025 07:58

What a heartless bitch she is. I am so sorry for the loss of your furry family member. It's devastating. Sending you hugs at this heartbreaking time.

PurpleChrayn · 20/02/2025 07:58

Leave her a negative review on all platforms explaining exactly what happened. Post on all relevant local groups.

BilboBlaggin · 20/02/2025 07:59

Wow, she'd have to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic to not understand that a dog dying meant it would not be able to attend future appointments. I do hope you informed her in writing of your poor dog's passing, as if she took it to small claims she should rightfully be laughed out of the building. Anyone with an iota of common sense wouldn't expect you to say "so he won't be attending his booked appointment".

If she carries on threatening you then tell her fine, but if she does then you'll be writing an honest review of the situation on Google reviews/Trustpilot/local FB gossip page (delete as appropriate).

Sorry for your loss OP. I lost my dog last year. In contrast my groomer understood the implications and even sent a condolences card.

XWKD · 20/02/2025 08:03

If you brought business her way, then you can tell everyone how she is behaving now. I hope she loses a lot of business.

Carodebalo · 20/02/2025 08:05

Groomer is an absolute idiot. You telling her your dog died = cancelling the appointment. Let her take it further, she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. I’m very sorry for your loss.