Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being locked in?

257 replies

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:20

New house to us, so please bear with me. DH nipping out the back door and conservatory so he can smoke a Marlboro in the back garden. He locks both doors behind him because he doesn't want dogs to follow. Fair enough, garden is not completely secure yet. He leaves keys in doors so I'm locked in with dogs and I feel trapped. I can't get out unless he turns or removes keys. AIBU to ask him to remove the keys so I can leave when I want?

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 18/02/2025 22:57

Are you saying you can't use the front door?

That needs to be changed

ThinWomansBrain · 18/02/2025 22:58

I can't understand why you don't both have keys, but regardless, when he wants to go outside and smoke, just do it the other way round - you have the keys and lock him out.

it would be a shame if you forgot he was out there & to let him in again.

Imbusytodaysorry · 18/02/2025 23:03

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:09

What should I be fixated about?

Show quote history

The real issues in your relationship . That have lead to you posting about doors /locks

sevenIsNewEight · 18/02/2025 23:09

ThinWomansBrain · 18/02/2025 22:58

I can't understand why you don't both have keys, but regardless, when he wants to go outside and smoke, just do it the other way round - you have the keys and lock him out.

it would be a shame if you forgot he was out there & to let him in again.

How I understand it
None of them have front door keys.

Probably both have back door keys, but he is leaving his key in the lock from outside when going to smoke, so the OP can't use her's to open them.

Franjipanl8r · 18/02/2025 23:12

If this is all you have to worry about OP, you have a good life.

Doodleflips · 18/02/2025 23:16

Franjipanl8r · 18/02/2025 23:12

If this is all you have to worry about OP, you have a good life.

Is this really what you get from this 🤯?

Doodleflips · 18/02/2025 23:16

op - do you have any support, anyone you can talk to? It sounds worrying.

AppleBlossomMay · 18/02/2025 23:16

Franjipanl8r · 18/02/2025 23:12

If this is all you have to worry about OP, you have a good life.

Have you read all of the OP's posts? Something is wrong

KrisAkabusi · 18/02/2025 23:19

Franjipanl8r · 18/02/2025 23:12

If this is all you have to worry about OP, you have a good life.

Her husband is locking her into a house, one that she apparently doesn't own despite being married, and there is no way for to get out. He is refusing to let her get her own key for the locked front door. She's unhappy and depressed about the situation. But you think this is a frivolous issue. Let's hope you never have to experience a marriage like that.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 18/02/2025 23:24

Can you not text him, knock on the window/door, open the window and call out to him?
Has he done it on purpose?

*Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected. *
You can change that OP, you don't have to be in an unequal relationship where you're not happy.

SlinkySprings · 18/02/2025 23:25

Are you going on a holiday to an air bnb soon where your sibling wants to sleep in the spare box room by any chance?

smooththecat · 18/02/2025 23:25

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

Sounds like you are not doing too well. Is he controlling you in other ways than the doors?

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 18/02/2025 23:26

Agree
The post is about entirely the wrong issue

OP you need to leave this marriage

saraclara · 18/02/2025 23:26

You need a front door that you can escape from in a fire. Most kitchens are near the back door. If a fire breaks out in the kitchen you will not be able to get it through the back door. So a permanently locked front door is a massive safety issue.

Also you have no agency in your home, your husband is controlling you and he's deliberately scaring you.

LovelyLeitrim · 18/02/2025 23:27

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:09

What should I be fixated about?

Show quote history

Your previous post?

BigHeadBertha · 18/02/2025 23:27

2025willbemytime · 18/02/2025 21:23

Lock him out. Or maybe just shut the door..

Ooh, that's mean! 😂

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/02/2025 23:27

Meh. He smokes Marlboros.
Be glad there’s a locked door between you. He stinks. A door is good.

(If you want to leave the house, maybe try the front door …)

fashionqueen0123 · 18/02/2025 23:33

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:09

What should I be fixated about?

Show quote history

You can’t open the front door and your husband seems to think that’s normal!

AppleBlossomMay · 18/02/2025 23:38

It's clear many posters aren't bothering to read all the OP's posts.
At the bottom right hand corner of the OP's first post there's a link "SEE ALL"
If you click on it you can read all the OP's posts and you'll see there's something more worrying going on here. I hope the OP will come back and explain further, we're here to listen OP.

Ariela · 18/02/2025 23:40

If the previous home owner still has keys, this means they can enter the house whenever. Likewise they could give the key to anyone else who could then come in.

I don't understand why you've not changed the lock on the front door so you have new keys

sandyhappypeople · 18/02/2025 23:41

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

You are married, but your DH has just bought a house and you have both just moved in.. why can't you change the lock with the missing keys again?

JMSA · 18/02/2025 23:45

But isn't he only outside for a few minutes? And you could call out to him if needed?
Maybe I'm missing something.

JMSA · 18/02/2025 23:47

SeriouslyStressed · 18/02/2025 21:43

The sellers have breached their contract by not providing you with a front door key. Talk to your solicitor. You can claim the cost of replacement locks and keys from them.

Exactly this Confused

suburberphobe · 18/02/2025 23:49

Just get your own key.

From inside and outside.

Stop being a damsel in distress.

UrsulaLongshanksTheFlamingo · 18/02/2025 23:54

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

It doesn't matter whose name the house is in if you're married. My house is in my DH's name, but that's because it was his and I moved in. It doesn't matter. I have every right to change what I want about it. Even if you weren't married, you live there, so you have every right to sort out locks and anything else about the place tbh.
Don't let your time slip by feeling unhappy and unsafe (if that's the case). Life is too short, and wizzes by at top speed.
Tell him you don't want him to lock you in. If you're worried about the doors and the dogs, you ask for the key and explain that you'll lock him out.