Making up a supply box for son/DIL first time buyers

[Floranan]

My son and DIL are finally in a position to buy their first home and have had an offer excepted this week so all very excited. They’ve never had the own place before so this is such a big thing for them and is stretching them financially.

I know they have been buying the odd thing whilst saving a deposit, some bedding / towels a set of glasses but not much else,

DH and I have discussed what we want to do to help, we thought to give them a gift of money on exchange of contracts so they can start buying household goods, and have already said we will buy them a fridge and washing machine when they complete.

this is all great and I’m really happy about it. But when my other son left home and got a place with his GF money was tight for them too, and we gave them about the same, but I also made up a couple of gift boxes, I had great fun doing this and yes I will admit it is a lot to give me pleasure. 3 boxes, one full of cleaning supplies - loo brush bin bags bleach etc second full of basic kitchen stuff - wooden spoons, rolling pin, basic stuff you didn’t think you need you know. The 3rd box - basic supplies, salt/pepper herbs / spices flour tea coffee tins of stuff you get the picture, stuff to feed them for a few days and to stock the cupboard with basics.

my reasoning is people will buy them kettles and dinner sets etc, but you do need wooden spoons !

my son and now DIL were thrilled with their boxes and really helped them out. So I now want todo them for son n2, but DH says he doesn’t remember me doing that before and tbh he thinks it’s a pretty lame idea.

is it? Am I doing something that is silly, I just thought it’s a nice thing todo, and yes I will like doing it, but it’s a lot of trouble if it’s not really wanted.

i don’t know.

I think basically, when you were getting your first place, what would you have thought if your MIL did that .

I'm moving soon can you do this for me? I think you sound lovely

I think it's lovely and really helpful, it's surprising how much it costs to buy all the cleaning stuff and fill the cupboards from scratch.

if they’ve been living together already won’t they already have a lot of that stuff?

Light bulbs
the sad amount of sellers who take them 😬

Moving into our first house I recall spending a lot of money at B&Q! May not be as appropriate if a new build but they still might will want to hang pictures, assemble furniture etc

Such a beautiful thing to do, and wouldn't it be lovely if they do it for their own children one day and so on, and it all started from your kindness!

I think that is a lovely idea, I’m sure they will be really pleased.

A cordless drill

I’d get them the cleaning supplies and maybe a tool box with a set of screwdrivers etc but not bother with the kitchen supplies beyond maybe a wine opener / tin opener as buying that sort of thing is something I’d prefer to do myself really

Honestly, assuming the live somewhere already, I think they'll probably have most of that stuff already. I think a gift of cash plus white goods is very generous already (& I'm sure very, very appreciated!) so I would probably stick to flowers and a bottle of something to celebrate their new home as something on the day.

It is very kind of you indeed to give them money and white goods. Really kind and lovely.

I would be slightly annoyed to receive boxes of groceries and cleaning items etc. It feels a bit infantilising, as if they wouldn't have thought of these things and don't already have their own preferences. If I was your DIL I would possibly be rolling my eyes ungratefully every time I saw the box of tea in the cupboard that isn't the kind I like, or the cleaning spray that isn't the kind I use.

You did ask!

Sounds a rrally practical snd genetous idea. Well done you. 10 /10

They have been living with her parents whilst they save so no, they do have some bits of furniture we’ve been storing for them and they having bedding towels etc. but it’s all the things you don’t know you need like a tin opener.

As someone just about to move, I personally wouldn’t like this. I already have everything and if needed, I’d like to choose my own bits for the kitchen.

Sorry, but... You do know you need a tin opener. Why wouldn't you? Most likely scenario is they end up with two.

I think it sounds lovely and I would have been so pleased to receive something like this.

When I bought my current house my mortgage provider gave me a mini tool set - it's been so handy, I've still got it and use it all the time.

Like this one:

cpc.farnell.com/duratool/d00197/tool-kit-mini-25pc/dp/TL10406

@Greenfencebrowntree I don't own a tin opener. I don't buy any foods in tins!

It's a great idea. Make sure you know what they already have though, if they've been living independently they will presumably have a lot of that stuff already? If it were me I would value cleaning stuff like rubber gloves, cloths sponges bleach bin bags. Bath mat and toilet brush. And some nice food such as fresh fruit, snacks. I would bring the salt and pepper from my previous house. Other than that, a voucher for their nearest big supermarket, then they can buy what they need.

I don't think it's normal for friends to buy dinner sets and kettles for a first house though, that's more normally a wedding, but even then it's mostly cash now. So they may also value things like kettle toaster microwave, kitchen bin, if they don't have already

Ah yes tools - when my ex left leaving me with not even a spanner, the first thing I did was buy a big tool set off Amazon. It's been so useful!

Well then I guess you'd not be thrilled if someone bought you one that you "didn't know you needed"!

Oh that’s a lovely idea
can I suggest some ideas because I love a hamper too -
tea/coffee sugar
command strips
some chocolate
a deliveroo voucher.
a couple of soft drinks or alcoholic if they drink (like nice sodas or cans of cocktails or something)
a simple vase for any house warming flowers they receive, loo roll, and a mini toiletries bag in case they don’t unpack straight away (like travel toothpaste shower gel etc)
bin bags
disposable cutlery (I know this is bad for the environment but you could have wooden ones at least)

my mil just came round and told us all the things she didn’t kind in our new house, so you sound lovely and not at all lame to me!

It's a lovely idea but they may already have thought about what style or colour of kitchen stuff they want for example so I would avoid that. What about asking them to choose a bedding set or if they need a rug, my mum bought me a fancy kitchen bin which was way nicer than what I would have bought myself.

Your boxes of bits sound great!

I'd add some Ikea vouchers if there is one fairly local.

My mum did this for me, I absolutely loved it and it saved me a fortune. She put things like tin foil, cling film, fairy liquid, salt, pepper, ketchup, dishcloths, rubber gloves etc. She packed it in a plastic laundry basket that I still use today from 2007! Aslong as you’re not choosing their tea and coffee canisters whats the problem. Worse case scenario you have duplicate anti bac spray!

It sounds lovely.

You are right, friends will buy them attractive gifts.
It is the basic, everyday things that will come in really handy.

When I moved into my first flat over 35 years ago, a colleague at work presented me with a box of things (salt, ketchup, washing up liquid, etc) that she put together for me by putting one item in with her shop most weeks from when I had the offer accepted, to when I moved it. I was SO touched, and still remember it as THE most thoughtful present I had.

Don't forget to scour local giving groups for furniture and white goods however - 2 of my dcs have their own houses and both got their fridge freezers from local groups - one for free and the other for £35. Both got nearly all their furniture from people giving things away and the odd thing bought from Facebook Marketplace.