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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Making up a supply box for son/DIL first time buyers

155 replies

Floranan · 17/02/2025 22:27

My son and DIL are finally in a position to buy their first home and have had an offer excepted this week so all very excited. They’ve never had the own place before so this is such a big thing for them and is stretching them financially.

I know they have been buying the odd thing whilst saving a deposit, some bedding / towels a set of glasses but not much else,

DH and I have discussed what we want to do to help, we thought to give them a gift of money on exchange of contracts so they can start buying household goods, and have already said we will buy them a fridge and washing machine when they complete.

this is all great and I’m really happy about it. But when my other son left home and got a place with his GF money was tight for them too, and we gave them about the same, but I also made up a couple of gift boxes, I had great fun doing this and yes I will admit it is a lot to give me pleasure. 3 boxes, one full of cleaning supplies - loo brush bin bags bleach etc second full of basic kitchen stuff - wooden spoons, rolling pin, basic stuff you didn’t think you need you know. The 3rd box - basic supplies, salt/pepper herbs / spices flour tea coffee tins of stuff you get the picture, stuff to feed them for a few days and to stock the cupboard with basics.

my reasoning is people will buy them kettles and dinner sets etc, but you do need wooden spoons !

my son and now DIL were thrilled with their boxes and really helped them out. So I now want todo them for son n2, but DH says he doesn’t remember me doing that before and tbh he thinks it’s a pretty lame idea.

is it? Am I doing something that is silly, I just thought it’s a nice thing todo, and yes I will like doing it, but it’s a lot of trouble if it’s not really wanted.

i don’t know.

I think basically, when you were getting your first place, what would you have thought if your MIL did that .

OP posts:
LilacLilias · 18/02/2025 21:35

I think it totally depends on the people involved.

When I moved into a flat with my first serious boyfriend, his sister gave us a gift bag with a bag of pasta, some sauce, cheese and some of our favourite snacks for our first dinner. I thought this was extremely thoughtful and much appreciated!

However, one of the things that I love is kitchenware. So all the things like wooden spoons, tea towels, etc etc. I take great pleasure in choosing these myself so wouldn't love someone getting them for me.

If I were you and I wanted to do something like this, I'd probably stick with 'supplies for the first weekend' or similar. I'd probably include a bog roll for fun.

LilacLilias · 18/02/2025 21:47

Meandhimtogether · 17/02/2025 23:26

My late mum made up a few boxes of bits and bobs.
That was in 1979. We still use the pegs, wooden spoons and butter knife.
It's a good idea as these are the things you don't think about getting.

One of the gifts for our wedding was purchased by my aunt.
Cutlery set for 20 people. That's also still in use.
When we thanked her but did mention that there is only 2 of us.
Forward planned she replied. Now we have enough for our children,
wife, husband and all the grandchildren.

This is so lovely ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

sanityisamyth · 25/02/2025 08:11

HamptonPlace · 18/02/2025 13:04

not even tinned tomatoes? the horror the horror..

I'm highly allergic to tomatoes, so . . . no! I can't even eat prawn cocktail crisps without being sick.

5128gap · 25/02/2025 08:20

Its a lovely idea and will give you pleasure so do it. The worst that could happen is (apparantly) they may be irritated because its the 'wrong' stuff or feel patronised. But tbh I find it highly unlikely. I'm sure you've raised your son to see it's the love behind a gesture that matters, and that he's picked an equally nice and reasonable partner who will feel the same. The wrong cleaning fluid isn't offensive to normal people!

BestDIL · 25/02/2025 08:26

What a lovely gesture. Yes, do it

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