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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Making up a supply box for son/DIL first time buyers

155 replies

Floranan · 17/02/2025 22:27

My son and DIL are finally in a position to buy their first home and have had an offer excepted this week so all very excited. They’ve never had the own place before so this is such a big thing for them and is stretching them financially.

I know they have been buying the odd thing whilst saving a deposit, some bedding / towels a set of glasses but not much else,

DH and I have discussed what we want to do to help, we thought to give them a gift of money on exchange of contracts so they can start buying household goods, and have already said we will buy them a fridge and washing machine when they complete.

this is all great and I’m really happy about it. But when my other son left home and got a place with his GF money was tight for them too, and we gave them about the same, but I also made up a couple of gift boxes, I had great fun doing this and yes I will admit it is a lot to give me pleasure. 3 boxes, one full of cleaning supplies - loo brush bin bags bleach etc second full of basic kitchen stuff - wooden spoons, rolling pin, basic stuff you didn’t think you need you know. The 3rd box - basic supplies, salt/pepper herbs / spices flour tea coffee tins of stuff you get the picture, stuff to feed them for a few days and to stock the cupboard with basics.

my reasoning is people will buy them kettles and dinner sets etc, but you do need wooden spoons !

my son and now DIL were thrilled with their boxes and really helped them out. So I now want todo them for son n2, but DH says he doesn’t remember me doing that before and tbh he thinks it’s a pretty lame idea.

is it? Am I doing something that is silly, I just thought it’s a nice thing todo, and yes I will like doing it, but it’s a lot of trouble if it’s not really wanted.

i don’t know.

I think basically, when you were getting your first place, what would you have thought if your MIL did that .

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 18/02/2025 00:18

It's fine but also keep in mind that buying second hand is frugal and better for the environment.

Glassware, crockery, furniture etc can be obtained, often of better quality than new claptrap, for pennies on the dollar.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 18/02/2025 00:22

Sounds lovely OP, but how about a voucher?

I enjoy buying those sort of things and would want to buy my own, especially for a new house.

DeepFatFried · 18/02/2025 00:31

Have they not even lived together?

I would get a set of handy tools:
Radiator key
Pliers
A few screwdrivers
Hammer
Roll of gaffer tape
Measure

TheIvyRestaurant · 18/02/2025 00:38

What a lovely idea OP!

Screwdrivers, picture hooks, Allen keys and other practical things is a good shout. They always come in handy

paranoiaofpufflings · 18/02/2025 01:31

I would have been absolutely thrilled if someone had done this for me! I had nothing when I got my first place and every penny had gone into buying it. You sound truly lovely!

Stirabout · 18/02/2025 02:31

Gosh this is a lovely idea !!!

Takes note for if mine ever decide to move 🥳 ……..out.

Homebird8 · 18/02/2025 02:45

My MIL did this for us when we first shared a house. I was so cross with DH when after 20 years he melted the blue plastic colander she gave us (amongst other things). She gave us such practical things and they really added up.

BarbedButterfly · 18/02/2025 04:12

It is a lovely idea but I am very particular about which cleaning products I use and definitely wouldn't want people buying me a kettle etc. Half the fun is choosing your own. But I am sure not everyone is like me. I would stick to more supplies like you have said and avoid anything that might have a colour scheme e.g bath mat,.small appliances

Shinyandnew1 · 18/02/2025 08:42

I really enjoyed choosing stuff for our first house, so I wouldn't want to choose any of their cooking things/utensils as that's taking away that fun for them.

A box of usables like bin bags, batteries, lightbulbs, fuses, cloths, washing up liquid, bleach, toilet block, washing up bowl, toilet roll, kitchen roll, roil, a few basic spices would be good though. Maybe a tool bag with a few decently made tools in as well.

DaringLion · 18/02/2025 08:55

I done this for my daughter and son in law ,but so did his mum and his Nan done them a medical box.

AnSolas · 18/02/2025 09:18

Ooh a fire blanket

No kitchen should be without one
( and a small hand fan for when dinner is not yet ready but the dinner bell is ringing )

confusedlots · 18/02/2025 09:32

I would check with your son first. I'm not sure I'd be impressed with my MIL buying me cleaning products. A nice hamper with tea/coffee/essentials would be welcome though!

HectorPlasm · 18/02/2025 09:34

Great idea

Also, a torch and every type of battery shape you can think of.

ForRealCat · 18/02/2025 09:39

Screwdriver!!!

warmheartcoldfeet · 18/02/2025 09:42

lots of spices and herbs, olive oil, worcester sauce, cider vinegar etc etc etc!

sixtyandfabulousofcourse · 18/02/2025 09:43

few tumblers places like Asda do great choice really reasonable wine glasses mugs especially the budget dinner sets can be very reasonable gives them something to start with and they can upgrade later
throw in a few nice air fresher plug ins and nice candles for a special touch
towels especially bath sheets small hand towels do not tend to be much use few nice face cloths some special hand soaps
loo brush ideal cleaner loo rolls never have enough
dustpan and brush very handy

TwoShades1 · 18/02/2025 09:44

Sounds like a lovely idea! I was fortunate/unfortunate to have a grandparent who was drastically downsizing around the time me and DP brought our place so a lot of my kitchen stuff came from her house. As well as beds from her spare room. My mum was also declutterring a bit to prepare for a downsize so I got some things from her too.

Maddy70 · 18/02/2025 09:50

It's a really nice idea. But don't give them loads of tat or duplicate what they already have

Loo rolls
Cleaning products
Scented candles
T towels

They will have the rest as they've been living away already and will have colour schemes in mind etc

DisforDarkChocolate · 18/02/2025 09:52

It's a wonderful idea.

My son already has a house but he's moving and money will be very tight so I'm planning of stocking up of the boring thing like cleaning supplies.

Belaymehearties · 18/02/2025 09:57

I got a B&Q voucher and a box of cleaning supplies for when DD moved into her tiny flat. Plus a screwdriver set which she said was the best thing ever! 🤣

When DH and I get invited over for lunch he brings his toolbox to show her how to DIY and I bring dessert. She's quite handy with a screwdriver now!

Esdale · 18/02/2025 10:01

Nice thought, but personally I would hate this.

I like to pick my own stuff. And I've never used a wooden spoon.

LindorDoubleChoc · 18/02/2025 10:04

Whatever happened to buying a house plant?

I'm sorry but I think you are infantalising your son and your DIL might roll her eyes at it rather. I know I would if someone else was choosing what tea/coffee/oil/loo cleaner I'd be consuming. I mean bin bags? come on!

I'm with your DH.

BusyMum47 · 18/02/2025 10:04

@Floranan

What a lovely idea. You don't need your husband's approval or permission, do you?

Gustavo1 · 18/02/2025 10:08

I think a tool kit is a great moving in present. A drill, cordless screwdriver, picture hanging hooks, hammer, masking tape etc.
Everything you want to do in a new home requires a trip to the hardware store!

I enjoyed going and stocking my new cupboards after dreaming of home ownership so wouldn’t necessarily buy someone grocery staples.

CrushingOnRubies · 18/02/2025 10:08

That's a great idea!

Also Have a sort out of your stuff can you give them anything

I know it sounds weird but having recently been in your son's position. It's the lack of old stuff or stuff which after 20 years you have collected in might be handy and then use everyday.

For instance we got a dog shortly after moving in together but had no old towels or old sheets to use as dust sheets when redecorating.

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