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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being naked in front of DP/DH

465 replies

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 15:12

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

OP posts:
DollydaydreamTheThird · 17/02/2025 18:23

Dotjones · 17/02/2025 15:27

It's normal to walk round naked in front of your partner but you're entitled to feel how you feel. Your partner is right that it says something about your relationship, it sends the message that you don't trust him and that you don't believe his attraction to you is genuine.

What a load of garbage. Lots of people have bodily hang ups and it doesn't mean they don't trust their partners. It's more a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It's got bugger all to do with the partner (unless they are abusive or nasty about her appearance).

Togglebullets · 17/02/2025 18:23

beAsensible1 · 17/02/2025 18:18

your body can change without you putting on weight.

So?? You'd really comment constantly, unsolicited, on the ways in which your partner's body had changed? Even knowing that it was making them feel shit? What gives you the right?

Sadcafe · 17/02/2025 18:27

People should do whatever they feel comfortable doing. I’ve seen every bit of DWs body, she’s seen every bit of mine, neither of us have the bodies we did but we aren’t bothered about walking round naked

NovemberMorn · 17/02/2025 18:31

DollydaydreamTheThird · 17/02/2025 18:23

What a load of garbage. Lots of people have bodily hang ups and it doesn't mean they don't trust their partners. It's more a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It's got bugger all to do with the partner (unless they are abusive or nasty about her appearance).

Show quote history

Agreed....my way may not be your way, there is no right or wrong.

What would be wrong is if someone made you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious because of the way they saw you.
Who would want to give them the opportunity to put you down, I wouldn't.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 17/02/2025 18:33

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 16:13

What does SO, stand for? Usually know most abbreviations on here, but cannot work this one out 😂

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Significant other I guess

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:34

Newfoundzestforlife · 17/02/2025 17:58

We're all different, some of us like to keep our dignity despite the circumstances...

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Definitely - that would not have been for me! I'd have bent my knees and aimed the shower head there, or asked a nurse for help!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 17/02/2025 18:36

Archive · 17/02/2025 16:17

I used to happily walk around naked with him around. He, however, decided to call me fat during an argument a few months ago so that has very much changed. I know he regrets it but he can never take that back & I can never kid myself about how he seems me again - my hatred of my body is made worse by being heavily pregnant and I’m dreading him seeing me giving birth 😔

You have the right to choose an alternative birth partner, one who yiu know will support you unreservedly

CaptainBeanThief · 17/02/2025 18:39

I'm very overweight - put a lot of weight on in our marriage, due to appetite increase, medication, tough times etc, I do walk around naked occasionally, he does see me naked we have sex naked etc. im losing the weight now me and my consultants have identified the culprit medication(s).
I can't be covered up 24/7.
I am self conscious of how my body looks but my husband and mum cared for me when I came out of ICU twice - he even packed my leg wound when I had NF in my groin.
If anything it's him that doesn't walk around naked and he's slim and healthy.

BIossomtoes · 17/02/2025 18:39

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:34

Definitely - that would not have been for me! I'd have bent my knees and aimed the shower head there, or asked a nurse for help!

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Good luck with finding a nurse, let alone one prepared to clean you up when your partner is perfectly capable of doing it.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:42

BIossomtoes · 17/02/2025 18:39

Good luck with finding a nurse, let alone one prepared to clean you up when your partner is perfectly capable of doing it.

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Aimable shower head it is, then!

henlake7 · 17/02/2025 18:49

I think if you are happy being naked alone but not in front of your partner then that probably says something.

If you aren't happy being naked alone either then you just aren't a naturally naked person and it means nothing.

Bugbabe1970 · 17/02/2025 18:51

Dotjones · 17/02/2025 15:27

It's normal to walk round naked in front of your partner but you're entitled to feel how you feel. Your partner is right that it says something about your relationship, it sends the message that you don't trust him and that you don't believe his attraction to you is genuine.

What a load of rubbish
I never have or never will walk around d completely naked in front my DH of over 30 years - just knickers on yes but not completely naked - it’s just a preference and has absolutely nothing to do with the relationship

Bleachbum · 17/02/2025 18:51

We’re a naked family. And we come from naked families. I don’t care if my kids or DH see me naked and will walk from one room to another in the buff whilst getting ready in the morning or evening. My parents were the same, as were my in-laws apparently when my DH was growing up.

That said, I am luckily more or less the same size as when my DH met me over 25 years ago. If my body had changed a lot I might feel differently.

NovemberMorn · 17/02/2025 18:55

Bleachbum · 17/02/2025 18:51

We’re a naked family. And we come from naked families. I don’t care if my kids or DH see me naked and will walk from one room to another in the buff whilst getting ready in the morning or evening. My parents were the same, as were my in-laws apparently when my DH was growing up.

That said, I am luckily more or less the same size as when my DH met me over 25 years ago. If my body had changed a lot I might feel differently.

My body has definitely changed, I was young and gorgeous and now I am not.
Husband still thinks I am though, so that's probably why I still strut my stuff.

GroovyChick87 · 17/02/2025 18:56

I do walk around naked in front of him, yes. I think my body is sexy as does my DH even though it's got flaws. I've had 4 children so it's never going to be perfect and I've made my peace with that. We have a lot of sex and we're open with day to day nudity. I have no issue with him coming into the bathroom while I'm in the bath and I'll get changed in front of him. He makes sure I know he likes what he sees.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:59

He's threatening you because you won't walk around naked in front of him, which is controlling and abusive. By threatening, I mean by bringing up the concept that there's something deeply wrong with your relationship because of it, which opens the door to it ending. Because you won't parade naked in front of him. By making it such an issue, he's trying to coerce you into stripping and being naked in front of him. That's despicable.

When he says there's something fundamentally wrong with your relationship because you won't do what he tells you to do - which is what he is saying - the only answer is a cool "Well, you'd better leave me then, hadn't you."

This is a great example of why I SO can't be arsed with committed relationships. They're so full of control, and the only way to maintain balance is to be ready to live without them at a moment's notice, which rather ruins the entire point of trying to form a stable relationship.

Gonners · 17/02/2025 18:59

I've never given it a second thought, really. I do dislike being photographed, though - clothed, naked, whatever - though with my back to the camera is okay, I suppose! I just freeze and my face goes rigid - no idea why. As a result of this combination, the best photo ever taken of me was by an ex- from many years ago and is of me walking stark naked out of the shower on holiday. The moment I saw the camera, I instinctively raised my hands and covered my face, so absolutely everything else is on full display. A couple of years back he was sorting through his old slides and sent the one of that to me, along with the only print. I have kept the print, because it is really quite flattering! 😄

NovemberMorn · 17/02/2025 19:05

Gonners · 17/02/2025 18:59

I've never given it a second thought, really. I do dislike being photographed, though - clothed, naked, whatever - though with my back to the camera is okay, I suppose! I just freeze and my face goes rigid - no idea why. As a result of this combination, the best photo ever taken of me was by an ex- from many years ago and is of me walking stark naked out of the shower on holiday. The moment I saw the camera, I instinctively raised my hands and covered my face, so absolutely everything else is on full display. A couple of years back he was sorting through his old slides and sent the one of that to me, along with the only print. I have kept the print, because it is really quite flattering! 😄

Edited

That's brilliant. 😀

Odd how some people freeze in front of a camera. My son is really confident, handsome, and has few hang-ups....but, as soon as someone points a camera at him, he gurns more than freezes. The result is, I don't have any pics of him looking normal.

Youbutterbelieve · 17/02/2025 19:06

We both happily wander around naked.

Sugarfish · 17/02/2025 19:11

I don’t do it. I’ve got no problem being naked during sex or getting changed infront of him. And to be honest my body is in much better shape than his! But there’s something about being naked and moving around that I can’t stand! I think it’s the feel of it, and thinking about it I don’t really like wearing skirts or dresses without tights for the same reasons. Guess I just like being covered up. No one has the right to see you naked anyway.

PurpleDragon19 · 17/02/2025 19:12

I don’t feel like I relate to either of those statements - I did vote but shouldn’t have as have changed and can’t remove it now 🙈

I don’t feel uncomfortable naked in front of my DH but I also personally wouldn’t casually walk round naked because .. I don’t know I just wouldn’t! In front of anyone or on my own, but get some people do and that is ok!

overall I would say YANBU as I think your DH is wrong to say it is something fundamental in a relationship, it’s just personal preference in this case I would say!

Shodan · 17/02/2025 19:15

I'm happy to walk around naked in front of DP, and actually am happy to pootle around the house naked (if no-one is here- my sons started getting uncomfortable with nudity around age 11 so I respect that).

But then DP has always made it perfectly obvious that he finds my body very attractive (and vice versa, I have to say- I love seeing him naked!)- even now, when I'm a couple of stone overweight, his attitude to my being naked hasn't changed in 8 years.

If he made negative comments I would just stop being naked in front of him. And then the sex life would start to dwindle. And then we'd be over.

beAsensible1 · 17/02/2025 19:15

Togglebullets · 17/02/2025 18:23

So?? You'd really comment constantly, unsolicited, on the ways in which your partner's body had changed? Even knowing that it was making them feel shit? What gives you the right?

Show quote history

of course i wouldn't say things to make them feel shit or comment to say so!

but if my DP had a new wart i'd comment until he got it looked at or if he needed a hair cut etc. If he stopped being neat or fell out of his routine or looking after himself especially as its outside the norm. I generally assume good faith with anything my partner says because they don't hate me?

YouDeserveBetterSoAskForIt · 17/02/2025 19:22

Gonners · 17/02/2025 18:59

I've never given it a second thought, really. I do dislike being photographed, though - clothed, naked, whatever - though with my back to the camera is okay, I suppose! I just freeze and my face goes rigid - no idea why. As a result of this combination, the best photo ever taken of me was by an ex- from many years ago and is of me walking stark naked out of the shower on holiday. The moment I saw the camera, I instinctively raised my hands and covered my face, so absolutely everything else is on full display. A couple of years back he was sorting through his old slides and sent the one of that to me, along with the only print. I have kept the print, because it is really quite flattering! 😄

Edited

Ah what an amazing thing to look back on.
It is so beautiful to look at our younger bodies as we age.

I recently stumbled on some old photos and all I can think is how full of life I looked, i was gorgeous in my own way, but I was so self conscious at the time.

It reminds me to live in the moment and that I will never again be as young as I am right this second.

NoSoupForU · 17/02/2025 19:24

I'm very comfortable being completely naked in any light in front of my husband.

But I don't think its wrong to not feel comfortable naked either. Maybe a bit sad that you can't be totally comfortable in your own skin, but it isn't an unusual way to feel or anything. Your partner is being daft.