Being naked in front of DP/DH

[SnowflakeSmasher86]

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

I wouldn’t generally walk about naked, not
becisse I’m a prude; but because it’s too cold in Scotland. When getting dressed or just out of the shower I’m sure I’m naked in front of DH, but I don’t think about it one way or the other

I once read a meme that said skinny women look good in clothes, the rest of us look better without them. To a degree I think that is true, many of us look much better naked. Take a look in your local art gallery, don’t all the naked woman look gorgeous?

So you think everyone^^ not skinny looks good naked?

No

It's psychological really isn't it?

I know it doesn't make sense but I think that if you're fully illuminated, it's like saying "Look at me! I think I look great!"

And low lighting (eg lamps and candlelight) are more flattering generally.

That's not really representative of how most women look naked though is it? Anymore than saying all skinny women look like supermodels.

@Queenofthejabs

I think many people find confidence attractive, but i feel you are deliberately misunderstanding what the poster wrote. The truth is, unless you find fat attractive, and many do, then seeing your fat naked spouse wandering around in broad daylight is unlikely to be something you find attractive. No matter how confidently they strut their stuff round the living room.
Generally people find small noses on women attractive. And decent sized boobs. Good white straight teeth. Lack of body hair and being between 5'2" and 5'7" is ideal apparently.

So according to you if you do not possess these you should ensure lights are dim lest your partner is repelled

Has it never occurred to you that people who genuinely love their partners do not find your 'flaws' unattractive? How do you think people with facial deformities or physically disabled bodies find people to love them. And they do. Are you suggesting they are with people with kinks

@AnAltogetherDifferentSortOfThing Thank you for all your posts, we're definitely of like mind!

@Queenofthejabs Another one going against the tide. like me 😁

@AnAltogetherDifferentSortOfThing

Whatever women tell each other, men don't find the confidence attractive if you don't have the body to back it up. Whether they tell you so or not, they are thinking negatively.
I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences. But surely even you can realise that you don't and can't speak for what all men are thinking.
Not even a man can speak for all men.

I know for a fact that my DH loves my body. He loved it when I was 25 and he loves it now at nearly 60. He's loved it skinny and fat. Pregnant and post babies. He can't get enough and he worships every inch of me.

I hope you can find someone to treasure you

@AnAltogetherDifferentSortOfThing

Whatever women tell each other, men don't find the confidence attractive if you don't have the body to back it up.
Also what are you suggesting? That men don't find confidence attractive on a less than A.I. Perfect body? That they'd prefer you to be shuffling about frantically covering yourself with towels and bathrobes and dashing from bathroom to bed in a panic, radiating self disgust and loathing and embarrassment?

Yeah. No one finds that attractive.

What I find sad on this thread, are all the people in supposedly happy relationships who won't let their partner see them naked. This is someone who loves you for you. He married you not some perfect image you have in your head. Unless he has shown you otherwise he loves you just as you are.

If being with someone who constantly put me down has taught me anything, it's that the ones who call their wives/partners fat etc are the ones that are no oil painting themselves. My ex called me fat when I was 11 stone,he called me fat when I was 12stone and he was 25st! He gave me massive body image issues that I never had before, but over time the little voice is being silenced.

The two men since my ex, who saw me naked had no complaints and maybe they're the ones I should pay attention to.

Oh my, seems I’ve also stirred the hornets nest. I didn’t say if you aren’t fully shaved with full set of white teeth decent boobs and of a certain height you need to hide.

and I’m not even going ti dignify the rest of your rant with a response.

I like walking around in my underwear. I get changed in front of him and he likes looking at my body. However, I feel uncomfortable naked, not sure why. I was brought up with quite prudish mother, maybe that's it. DH likes me to sleep naked but I prefer to sleep in my knickers, I feel somewhat vulnerable naked but then I've always been shy too 🙍

I'm a bit meh either way on this. I am not wild about wandering around naked, largely because my slightly hippyish mother used to when we were children and I hated it. I don't feel embarrassed being naked in front of DP, it is just a functional part of living with someone. I have no problem stripping off to get changed in a single sex changing room either, I'm definitely not cowering behind my towel. But that doesn't mean I'm like Naomi in Wolf of Wall Street either. I'm just kind of cracking on with my nudity as a small part of my life.

For any woman worried about how their body looks - have you seen a cock and balls?????? No wonder we need pheromones, oxytocin and a whole load of snogging and foreplay!

I can only speak from my own personal experience.

"unless you find fat attractive, and many do, then seeing your fat naked spouse wandering around in broad daylight is unlikely to be something you find attractive"

But your spouse chose you, and pursued a relationship with you, so of course they find you attractive? We're not talking about what the general public find attractive.

Although I wasn't talking about fat or overweight people, you're the one who has assumed that's what people are talking about when discussing unattractive bodies.

Although I wasn't talking about fat or overweight people, you're the one who has assumed that's what people are talking about when discussing unattractive bodies.

Yes. I'm a size 10/12. Always have been apart from a difficult period after my dad died when I was a 14.

Still been criticised.

This has to be one of the saddest threads I’ve ever read 😔

I’ve literally doubled in size since me and DH got together, he sees me naked pretty much every day and he’s not shy about staring appreciatively.

@AnAltogetherDifferentSortOfThing

Whatever women tell each other, men don't find the confidence attractive if you don't have the body to back it up. Whether they tell you so or not, they arethinking negatively.

I appreciate that you can’t help your own insecurities around your appearance, and I’m sorry that you have to live with those hang-ups. But could you please not project your issues on to the rest of us? It’s bad enough that you’re telling yourself this, but it’s even worse to tell other women who are confident about their variously sized/aged/shaped bodies that their partners don’t fancy them.

I don’t like my own body at all. Even when I was younger and slimmer than I am now, I had cellulite, a bit of a belly, wobbly thighs, chunky legs, stretch marks on my hips and the side of my boobs. I’m also exceptionally pale with very dark hair, so any body hair is all too apparent within about an hour of shaving! I don’t really like seeing myself naked in the mirror.

But despite this, I know that none of the men I’ve slept with have been even remotely put off by any of the things I don’t like about my body. They’ve all been abundantly enthusiastic about it. They’ve all wanted to look at it during sex. They’ve all given me compliments. I’ve never tried to hide my body, and I’d hate it if they tried to hide theirs, and none of them have been repelled. I absolutely loathe my bum and cringe when I see it in a mirror, but (TMI) my DP likes sex in the doggy position specifically because he likes looking at my bum!

I’ve also been told, by most of the men I’ve slept with, that one of the things they enjoyed about sex with me was that I didn’t want the lights off and didn’t want to hide my body from them and didn’t care about whether positions were ‘flattering’.

I’ve also had conversations with with groups of friends where women have been joking about body insecurities and the men have been baffled that we’d think they care. One of them didn’t know what cellulite was and when we explained it was that dimply flab on a bum or thighs he was genuinely stunned that women were worrying about it because it had never occurred to him to think it was unattractive.

It's so teenagerish to dub any thought process that differs from one's own as "sad."

Many people's value systems prize privacy, modesty and dignity. There's nothing sad or wrong with that.

That is your experience of men. It is not mine.

This isn't due to insecurities as you'd see if you'd read my posts. This is straight from the horses' mouths (men).

Until men began to offer me their opinion on me and my body, I had no issue. Now, I'm not giving any of them the opportunity to tell me what they think of me.

I prefer not to think of my own body as indecent

Gosh, you are giving yourself a hard time.. We all have our own version of being beautiful ❤️

It makes me feel sad that anyone feels shame about their bodies. Sure maybe they’re not as toned as you’d like or you’d like to be fitter but they’re amazing things that have brought you this far. Anything in our lives could change in an instant so shouldn’t we just be content with what we’ve got?
Urgh I feel like shame over bodies is a made up thing made to control us :-(

Same. And it is sad because it’s controlling how you see yourself and how you show up in the world