Being naked in front of DP/DH

[SnowflakeSmasher86]

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

Thanks @Bloatstoat a lot of that makes sense! My husband 'prefers' me bigger than I am now, I have so many issues around food and eating and putting on weight all to the detriment of my health (which I'm fully aware of even when I'm at my worst, which I am now!) Just yesterday, he held my hand and told me it was 'too bony'. Now, saying that to me is a win! So, although it wasn't a compliment from him, in my head the word 'bony' or 'gaunt' as he called me on Sunday is fantastic. So, my body currently is skinny and for me that's amazing and I want to show it off but I also know, in the back of my mind that it's not to my husband. And that's quite a conflict in my head after reading this thread because what looks good to me doesn't to my husband.

Very happy being naked in front of DH, always have been, including any positions during sex. We're mid 50s.

Not too bothered if others see me naked either, including DS, who are both young adults, although they wouldn't want me to see them naked and I can understand that.

9 and 5.

If they show any signs of discomfort then I’ll stop but currently they don’t appear to notice at all really.

We all walk about naked in the mornings, not just me. Not all around the house for excessive periods of time, but to and from bathroom etc.

What was it that you hated about it? That’s quite a strong reaction to a body.

We walked around naked at home when I grew up, I never found seeing my mother naked a problem and I would have no issue undressing in front of her now, even though I'm in my 50s.

Honestly not judging you.... But how can you actually be with him and feel loved by him if you really think like this?
It's so incredibly sad to think your partner would rather look at a naked stranger he can't even touch instead of the person he loves and wants to spend his life with.
It all just sounds like fear and nothing grounded in reality.

I hope you can heal from that nasty comment. Don't let that bastard win.
Your stomach doesn't need to be flat for you to be beautiful and sexy to your husband or anyone else.

He doesnt have to be there when you give birth. Don't let his words take away from the fact that you, your body are doing something amazing.

DH and I wouldn't class ourselves as either "nudists" or "exhibitionists", despite having a past history of skinny dipping on a Greek island in our younger days, but we have never considered it to be anything but normal to slip out of bed in the morning in our birthday suits (nude sleepers of long standing), to walk to the bathroom (no en-suite, sadly) for our morning showers similarly attired and to return to the bedroom, still naked, to get dressed for the day. Repeated in reverse order at bedtime. DCs ditto as kids, and still ditto in their own households.

We sleep naked. It’s amazing we have room in there with all the piss, shit, hair and so, so many skin cells.

😂

This is hilarious because anything that would transfer from you to the bed is simply contained in your pyjamas, so your sheets may be cleaner, but you are still sleeping in the same piss/shit/skin (i do feel like a doctor might be able to help you though)

Been married for over 50 years. I don't mind getting dressed/undressed but am uncomfortable with just walking around naked and have always been the same, even when young. I don't like looking at my own body so can't think that anyone else would find it attractive (no boobs, no bum, straight up and down). He has never in all this time good me I'm beautiful because I'm not. He has told me he sees the beautiful person I am inside. He's not being unkind because I have no doubts about his love for me but he would never lie. Some of us just have to accept that we are not attractive. (And at 71 the ugly duckling is not going to turn into a beautiful swan😃). Also prefer sex in a darkened room so he can pretend I'm gorgeous.

I voted you're being unreasonable justjust because from sizes 12-28 I've walked round naked in front of my husband. You aren't unreasonable if you aren't comfortable doing that it's just personal preference. Both my sister and I were brought up the same and we differ, she prefers to keep something on where I wouldn't give another thought walking round naked in front of him.

My husband has seen me through the lowest parts of my life, he was there to see our children born and helped me shower after my sections. He has seen every inch of me and it does not bother me in the slightest if he sees me naked 🤷🏼‍♀️ we have kids now so not actively walking about naked but if I am out the shower or getting changed I don’t care if he’s there. Also several stone heavier than o was pre kids 😂

I hate my body so he hasnt seen me naked since I was pregnant (kid is 4 now). Which is sad really, I wish I could be all comfortable in my nakedness around him but all I can feel is all the bits I hate

I've read the posts from women saying they do and their husbands still find them attractive regardless of shape/size and, whilst I absolutely admire their confidence, I genuinely don't know what else i feel about it. I just can't imagine doing that and feeling comfortable. Not anymore. I used to and I used to feel confident doing so but I learnt the hard way that you don't make yourself vulnerable in front of a man in that way.

Whatever women tell each other, men don't find the confidence attractive if you don't have the body to back it up. Whether they tell you so or not, they are thinking negatively.

There's only so many times you can do it before you realise that you're the only one telling yourself you look great.

I'm sorry that you have had bad experience with individual men, but it's not fair to say that about all men. Plenty of men (and women!) find confidence attractive. Saying you need "the body to back it up"- what body? According to who?

I have just read all your updates!! Have you dumped this man? If not please do…the reason you aren’t comfortable around him is because of him and his awful comments!

I'm happy to walk.around the house alone naked and my children grew up in a fairly naked house when it was just us.

So I've not always been this way. I've definitely learnt to though.

Very comfortable to walk around naked in front of my husband! Neither of us are perfect and we are often in fits of giggles jiggling our wobbly bits about. I don’t think I’ve actually ever stopped to think weather or not he finds me attractive or not when naked I dont think i would really cared if he does or not 😂

The body they find attractive, I suppose.

I've been criticised on both ends of the scale - not being big enough and not being slim enough or I've been ok apart for this part of me or that part of me 🤷🏻‍♀️

My partner hasn't ever said anything critical (well apart from once saying I have 'sturdy' thighs and am built like a 'farm girl') but I haven't given him the opportunity either. So I'm going to just stick with that.

I think many people find confidence attractive, but i feel you are deliberately misunderstanding what the poster wrote. The truth is, unless you find fat attractive, and many do, then seeing your fat naked spouse wandering around in broad daylight is unlikely to be something you find attractive. No matter how confidently they strut their stuff round the living room.

sure in low lights, before sex, maybe, but very few people past that.

ive been fat and thin and everything in between, and my husband loves me what ever, but I know what my body looks like, and the general consensus is a healthy weight looks better naked, than an underweight or obese one. There has been plenty of studies on that.

now if you’re overweight and your husband is into that and finds you so attractive naked at whatever size, then lucky you, but fundamentally you just know it isn’t the norm. It doesn’t mean they don’t find you attractive or want to have sex with you, but simply the walking around starkers in broad daylight isn’t usually visibly appealing for both signficantly underweight/overweight bodies.

multipke studies are available to show most people find a healthy weight most attractive, with some outliers who like significantly underweught or overweight people.

I don't really like wandering around naked for long periods because I feel more comfortable in clothes, but my partner and I sleep naked, get up to walk to the bathroom or get a glass of water, change in front of each other etc. I like my body and I enjoy watching him admire it.

My mind is blown by the amount of naked families on here though. That's a big no from me and I'm glad my parents didn't subject me to that 😳

Exactly.

Immediately prior to and during sex, it's not about them finding you attractive, it's about them wanting to have and having sex.

Many men are happy to ignore a multitude of sins if they're about to get laid.

Everything you've said just makes me want to give you the biggest hug.
I know that you feel what you are saying very deeply so I don't want you to think I don't understand where you are coming from. But the reality is you've either had the unfortunate misfortune of meeting a dickhead or you are doing this to yourself.

Heterosexual men like all different types of women, if you have any doubts about that make yourself a cup of tea and spend an hour searching for every horrible body trait you can think of and add the word porn on the end 🤣 you will find a customer for every taste.

Your body isn't beautiful because your tit's are perky or bum is nice and round, it's beautiful because it's yours, because he loves you and because that body just happens to be the vessel that contains the person he wants to spend his life with.

Obviously if you are with a man that is a dick things can go wrong, but that is about that person. It isn't a reflection on yourself. If you were confident before you can definitely be confident again.
You get one life and one body, don't wast your time hating it and hiding it.

If the lights are low are you suddenly not fat?
The man is still exactly as much aware of your weight as he was before.

If he finds you attractive to want to have sex I can bet he would prefer to actually be able to see you during the sex.