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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being naked in front of DP/DH

465 replies

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 15:12

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 17/02/2025 22:22

Praying4Peace · 17/02/2025 20:14

FYI, I grew up with sisters and don't feel comfortable walking around naked or letting my partner see me naked!

Show quote history

I’m more than happy for my DP to see me naked but I’ve never seen my sister naked and I doubt she’s seen me naked since I was about five, so I don’t think there’s a connection.

BountifulPantry · 17/02/2025 22:31

Maybe this is to do with your upbringing. All 3 of us (2 brothers and me) used to sit on the loo and chat to mum when she was in the bath 😂😂😂 I don’t know what age my brothers stopped this … probs teens? However, I still do this 🤣

amusedbush · 17/02/2025 22:34

I’m not a Naked Person. I get dressed as quickly as possible after showering, and I sleep in a big t-shirt, knickers and socks. I feel really uncomfortable being naked, even when I’m alone.

I’ve always had body issues though; I was very overweight from childhood until about a year ago (I’m in my mid 30s). I’ve lost 140lbs and my body looks like a burst couch. I’m even more self-conscious now that every inch of me looks like a wrung out dishrag.

ItGhoul · 17/02/2025 22:45

Abracadabra12345 · 17/02/2025 16:52

@SnowflakeSmasher86
Its not pitch black, but I’d rather a low level lamplight. I will usually leave my knickers on, get into bed and they come off when I’m ready. Afterwards I’ll ask him to grab my towel or wait until he’s in the bathroom to get up. If i get up first I’d sit on the side of the bed and put pants and t shirt on, not stride across the room butt naked. I’m not like “close your eyes I’m getting up!” I just try and be a bit modest.

I've been like that my whole marriage- I'm late 60s now - which is why my husband thinks I have a great body and legs. 😆. I think a bit of mystery works too, and I don't want to flaunt my wobbly bits thanks very much

You do you and don't be bullied into doing anything which makes you feel uncomfortable/ by anyone, including on this forum. I bet there are loads who are like you.

If men wanted ‘mystery’ in the bedroom, they wouldn’t watch porn.

I guarantee you that if there’s one thing that any normal man wants to see in the bedroom, it’s as much of their partner’s body as possible.

Literally no man has ever said ‘I really wish my partner was more inhibited about her body in bed’.

If you’re self-conscious, then of course that’s up to you and you’re entitled to hide your body if you want to and I’m sure your partner is understanding about that. But I don’t believe ‘a bit of mystery works’ when it comes to sex. At all.

newkettleandtoaster · 17/02/2025 22:50

I don't. But I'm probably quite repressed in a lot of ways.

Would feel too vulnerable, which I just wouldn't like.

Probably too old to change now.

Midnightlove · 17/02/2025 22:54

I'm not bothered at all.. however I dont tend to walk around naked, it's just between the bathroom and getting changed etc

sweetpickle2 · 17/02/2025 22:55

FrauPaige · 17/02/2025 22:14

I walk around after the shower twice a day - it always seems to stop my husband in his tracks or has him finding a reason to come and talk to me. I am the same size and shape as when I met him 25 years ago, and it's just something I've never stopped doing.

He also walks around naked post shower - which I enjoy. He played rugby at school so has no concerns about being naked around non-family members too.

Edited

You shower twice a day? [misses point]

BookishType · 17/02/2025 22:56

BountifulPantry · 17/02/2025 22:31

Maybe this is to do with your upbringing. All 3 of us (2 brothers and me) used to sit on the loo and chat to mum when she was in the bath 😂😂😂 I don’t know what age my brothers stopped this … probs teens? However, I still do this 🤣

I have 2 adult sons and they still do this!

Proseccoagain · 17/02/2025 22:58

My DH and I would happily walk around naked in front of each other for the 50 years we were together right up to a couple of weeks before he died (and only stopped as he was in hospital). We loved seeing each others bodies, often showered together, and slept together naked from day one. I would have thought that was a normal part of married life.

RebelStarChild · 17/02/2025 23:02

I'm in the walk around naked and lights on for sex camp. Sex with the lights always off or low would be far to restrictive and very boring.

I think if you have a good relationship then it's a shame if your partner never gets an opportunity to just look at you and enjoy what you look like naked, men are visual creatures. It's also sad not to be able to enjoy and appreciate your own body.

Plus you can get them to agree to anything if you ask while you're naked and moisturising after a shower 😅

Nlabw · 17/02/2025 23:03

Proseccoagain · 17/02/2025 22:58

My DH and I would happily walk around naked in front of each other for the 50 years we were together right up to a couple of weeks before he died (and only stopped as he was in hospital). We loved seeing each others bodies, often showered together, and slept together naked from day one. I would have thought that was a normal part of married life.

I’d agree with most of it, apart from the sleeping naked. DH sleeps naked, but it’s too cold for me to sleep naked, unless v hot summer. Women in general do get quite cold - I have two adult teen kids - ds sleeps in boxers only but dd sleeps in some sort of pjs that will vary according to weather. I think it’s because men generally feel warmer. DH will sleep naked no matter how cold it is. If it’s really freezing, I’ll sleep in a fleece or dressing gown.

FrauPaige · 17/02/2025 23:07

sweetpickle2 · 17/02/2025 22:55

You shower twice a day? [misses point]

Show quote history

My bed could moonlight as a food preparation surface

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 23:21

Some PP has mentioned sleeping naked. I think it's gross. Bits of faeces and drips of urine in your bed. 🤢 Not to mention that the bed must be full of body hair if it's a man sleeping naked. And so, so many skin cells. Wearing pyjamas helps keep the bed cleaner.

Bleachbum · 17/02/2025 23:30

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 23:21

Some PP has mentioned sleeping naked. I think it's gross. Bits of faeces and drips of urine in your bed. 🤢 Not to mention that the bed must be full of body hair if it's a man sleeping naked. And so, so many skin cells. Wearing pyjamas helps keep the bed cleaner.

Faeces and urine?? Why would they be in the bed? We get into the bed clean and thankfully still have control of my bladder and bowel! Not all men are hairy.

RebelStarChild · 17/02/2025 23:44

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 23:21

Some PP has mentioned sleeping naked. I think it's gross. Bits of faeces and drips of urine in your bed. 🤢 Not to mention that the bed must be full of body hair if it's a man sleeping naked. And so, so many skin cells. Wearing pyjamas helps keep the bed cleaner.

You sound fun to share a bed with 🤣

Doitrightnow · 17/02/2025 23:46

I don't wander around naked because I get cold, but I have no issues with being naked in front of DH. I have few issues being naked in front of most people tbh.

Original poster
SnowflakeSmasher86 · 18/02/2025 00:07

RebelStarChild · 17/02/2025 23:02

I'm in the walk around naked and lights on for sex camp. Sex with the lights always off or low would be far to restrictive and very boring.

I think if you have a good relationship then it's a shame if your partner never gets an opportunity to just look at you and enjoy what you look like naked, men are visual creatures. It's also sad not to be able to enjoy and appreciate your own body.

Plus you can get them to agree to anything if you ask while you're naked and moisturising after a shower 😅

Sex with the lights always off or low would be far to restrictive and very boring.

Why does low lighting make things restrictive? You can do exactly the same things with the lights low as you can in full day light, apart from see every wrinkle and roll!

The idea that me slathering cream over my cellulite would make him more likely to agree to anything is also laughable!

OP posts:
AsLivingArrows · 18/02/2025 00:20

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 23:21

Some PP has mentioned sleeping naked. I think it's gross. Bits of faeces and drips of urine in your bed. 🤢 Not to mention that the bed must be full of body hair if it's a man sleeping naked. And so, so many skin cells. Wearing pyjamas helps keep the bed cleaner.

You should see a doctor if you can't get through one night without pissing or shitting the bed, because the rest of us manage it fine.

RebelStarChild · 18/02/2025 00:25

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 18/02/2025 00:07

Sex with the lights always off or low would be far to restrictive and very boring.

Why does low lighting make things restrictive? You can do exactly the same things with the lights low as you can in full day light, apart from see every wrinkle and roll!

The idea that me slathering cream over my cellulite would make him more likely to agree to anything is also laughable!

Show quote history

Because for a start you're hiding?
If I'm about to have sex with someone, I can't really enjoy doing that while they are hiding under the covers. If I like you, I probably like the way you look so covering up seems pointless once you've already decided to literally let someone inside you.

Also, you find it laughable because you're not a man, you don't think the same way they do. But I promise you, they generally love to see you slathered in whatever 😂 and don't see things like cellulite the same way a woman does.

Still don't believe me, ask him! Or better yet just give it a go and see what happens..😉

BettyBardMacDonald · 18/02/2025 00:44

BountifulPantry · 17/02/2025 22:31

Maybe this is to do with your upbringing. All 3 of us (2 brothers and me) used to sit on the loo and chat to mum when she was in the bath 😂😂😂 I don’t know what age my brothers stopped this … probs teens? However, I still do this 🤣

This is not as normal as you seem to think it is.

AnAltogetherDifferentSortOfThing · 18/02/2025 01:38

Nope, he doesn’t see me naked.

I've no doubt he is fully aware of where he can find naked women to look at if he wants to. I don't need to disappoint him and humiliate myself.

AGoodDayToDie · 18/02/2025 07:38

To answer some questions (and NO this is not made up)🙄

sex is done in the dark, yes he has felt my stomach lying down but rarely and NEVER standing up, it has never been flat.

This all started when I was a teenager with a boy I was going with, we went in for a kiss and he just grabbed my stomach and said "Wow are'nt you chubby here?" I was 16 or 17 and 8 and half stone. He was comparing me to his ex who was superslim. Then I met DH and had kids and my stomach is now baggy and stretchmarked. I do not mind the rest of me, just that

ItGhoul · 18/02/2025 08:24

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 23:21

Some PP has mentioned sleeping naked. I think it's gross. Bits of faeces and drips of urine in your bed. 🤢 Not to mention that the bed must be full of body hair if it's a man sleeping naked. And so, so many skin cells. Wearing pyjamas helps keep the bed cleaner.

You sound like fun.

Bloatstoat · 18/02/2025 08:24

namechangeGOT · 17/02/2025 21:45

Genuine question and I hope you take it as such. If you're worried about light during sex and trying to have it as dark as possible without it being pitch black, how do you relax into the sex, truly enjoy yourself or even appreciate your husbands body if you can barely see it?

Show quote history

It's not pitch black - we have some lights by the bed with low watt bulbs so we can see enough Grin

I think it's the opposite of what you say - if there is a lot of light, and I'm full of negative thoughts about how I look, then I can't relax. We've got young children, so I can't remember the last time we had sex in the daytime, but thinking back I definitely found that difficult even then.

Where my situation is different from OP is that my DH has never been negative about my body or how uncomfortable I am with being seen. I hope I would have the strength to do something about it if he was, but as another PP says it is hard, the voices of partners who have been abusive and cruel do stay with you, especially when deep down you agree.

What means most to me about my DH is not that he accepts and loves my body, but that he accepts how I feel about me, even if he doesn't agree. I don't think how I feel about my body has anything to do with our relationship, although obviously it does impact on it. A lot to think about from this thread.

Praying4Peace · 18/02/2025 09:03

amusedbush · 17/02/2025 22:34

I’m not a Naked Person. I get dressed as quickly as possible after showering, and I sleep in a big t-shirt, knickers and socks. I feel really uncomfortable being naked, even when I’m alone.

I’ve always had body issues though; I was very overweight from childhood until about a year ago (I’m in my mid 30s). I’ve lost 140lbs and my body looks like a burst couch. I’m even more self-conscious now that every inch of me looks like a wrung out dishrag.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.
Congratulations on your weight loss and please learn to love your curves and imperfections ❤