Very sorry for everything that's happened to you and yours. I have people fighting in Ukraine and I'm from one of the ex-USSR-occupied countries, so I understand everything you're saying perfectly.
Look. I'm sure you're aware. 'They' (the West) simply don't care. They handed us to stalin back then, they'll do it again, push comes to shove. Exactly what's happening to Ukraine now.
NATO won't save us. It's not worth the paper it's written on. Sure, if russia decided to attack France, Germany, The UK - of course. An outrage. A nice, modern, 'proper' country, how the fuck dare they. Outcries and hashtags, 'pray for France' et al. Latvia? Lithuania? Romania? Who really gives a fuck, some tiny, poor, backwards shithole (which isn't true, but that's by the by). Like hell we'll send 'our sons' to war for this. And what's the big deal if russia has them? We can import cheap labor from Middle East/India/Bangladesh, who needs EE anyway.
Fine. Let's just hope it won't work out to be Sudetenland vol. II for them.
My country is in NATO, but the majority of my countrymen don't trust it and are making their own preparations and creating alliances to our neighbours in the same situation. Because we know fully well that putler won't stop there. They'll carve up Ukraine now, together with the Orangeman, he'll regroup and come for someone else in the region next. He did it with Chechnya, he did it with Georgia, he did it with Crimea and he'll do it again. And if he'll go for some small, inconsequential, new NATO member - so be it, the West won't lose much sleep over it.