Move back to UK for kids' education despite having better quality of life where we are?

[littlewillow123]

Our children are now 12 and 9 years old, and we’re considering moving back to the UK when they reach Year 10 & Year 7. We currently live in SE Asia, where we enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, financial security, and strong family connections. However, we’re thinking about relocating so they can study in the UK from GCSEs through A-levels, potentially giving them better career opportunities and deeper cultural immersion.

💡 Key Factors We're Weighing:
✅ UK: Stronger education system, home fee eligibility for university after three years of residency, greater independence for kids, and exposure to a global environment. However, it comes with high living costs and financial sacrifices.

✅ Where we are: Comfortable lifestyle, financial stability, excellent expat community, strong family support, and flexibility. However, the kids may not fully experience UK culture until later.

📌 Additional Considerations:

• Visa is not an issue as we hold dual citizenship.
• We have family in both countries so children will be living near either sides of the family. Although at the moment they are missing out on time with my husband's side of family.
• We can’t afford private schools in the UK, so they would attend state schools.
• My husband (British) grew up in the UK, went to a top grammar school and university, but he is hesitant. From his experience, teenagers in the UK are more rebellious and exposed to alcohol and drugs at an earlier age, while kids in Asia tend not to have similar issue. One of our child has ADHD so this might be something worth considering.
• With the same income, we’ve been able to save significantly more in Vietnam than we could in the UK and still have better quality of life.

🔎 Our Dilemma:
❓ Would moving to the UK at this stage make a big difference for the kids' future? (We prefer to stay but if it's for the children's benefits, we can live in UK for a few years until they both go to uni)

❓ Or is it better to stay where we are and provide global exposure in other ways (e.g., travel, exchange programs, summer schools)?

If you’ve made a similar decision, we’d love to hear your experience! What did you choose, and how did it turn out? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 🤔✨

They live in South East Asia and you say Australia is to hot! Like I said much of Queensland is like SE Asia. Australia is a big place and not all of it is hot. NZ is okay for employment if you are in the right profession but Wages will be low as will OZ. Britain is a shambles at present and the cost of living is way higher than OZ despite what is commonly thought. I speak with many British back packers and have relatives in Britain.

Oh do bore off dear. Your snobbish pretentiousness is showing.

I still believe UK qualifications hold some value. The lifestyle we enjoy today is largely because we both earned UK degrees and gained work experience there. That international exposure allowed us to secure jobs with foreign organizations, which provide a much higher income than local salaries. (I understand with AI and new ways of studying, that competitive advantage might not be the case for our children).

I also think there’s great value in spending a good amount of time in both a 'developed' and a 'developing' country. It’s eye-opening to experience a place where everything is already well-established (I know it started to crumble but still), but it’s equally fascinating to live somewhere that’s constantly changing & evolving—like where we are now. If the situation were reversed, we’d still want our family to spend a few years in Vietnam to experience life here.

That being said, there are real downsides, especially with the current challenges in the UK. It’s a tough decision because there are strong pros and cons on both sides. For now, I think we’ll stay where we are. Financially, the additional taxes we’d pay over 6–10 years in the UK would likely offset the extra cost of international university fees (> £28,000 per child per year). So while paying for international tuition isn’t ideal, it’s not a huge issue for us. And as some of other people pointed out, with that kind of fees, they can study anywhere else in the world, doesn't have to be in UK. Although there's something to be said about living near their UK side of family and understanding UK culture.

Thanks again for all the advice. Looks like for us now we'll be staying where we are, and preparing for international school & uni fee.

@littlewillow123

Although the choice is a few years away for my family this thread has certainly helped me to see that the grass probably isn’t greener back in the old world.
Hope everything works out for your family, I’m sure it will.

They aren’t in the local school system: they will be going to international schools which are very academically
strong and most end up going to Western universities

What's so great about the British cultural immersion? Why would that give the kids an advantage? How long have you lived there? Think about uprooting them from everything they know

The US? Certainly not all of it. My friends relocated the Indiana with 3 young teens. The stuff they were given in the American school was stuff they had studied 2/3 years earlier in England

I think it’s fair to point out that if they do not grow up in England they will feel a sense of alienation from their own heritage.

We talk a lot about it in ‘third culture kid’ circles. It may not be practical to uproot the family but we should acknowledge there is a downside here.

Most schools start GCSE work in year 9, even if they don't then that is when options are taken.

You will not have a huge choice of schools, you would have to take places at schools that have a vacancy.

Do your children want to move? I think that is a big consideration. It doesn't matter how good a school or education system children who are miserable will not get the benefit.

I think home tuition is a read herring, fees for home students are now not much different to international fees unless you re moving to Scotland.

I wouldnt english schools have a high bullying rate, and the housing prices are just to high!

@littlewillow123 While it is true that there are other places your children can study (some European countries have English language programmes) be aware that US universities are currently running at $100k per year, give or take.

(I am originally from and did my BA in the US.)

You need to start financially planning for that now.

I guess you could have opportunities in Oz/New Zealand/Canada too and I have no idea what those cost.

There are a lot of unknowns but if you're happy where you are, I guess stick with it?

My US friends pay into special savings funds for this (basically from birth) and then try for a combination of merit aid from the universities and loans.

What is available in terms of merit aid/loans for foreign students is unclear to me but it's not the same as for US students. If your kids are sporty that helps but there's a whole pathway you need to get yourself on if this is what you're hoping for.

Too much detail for this post (probably) but be clear about 'what other opportunities' your kids may actually have if an internationally well-regarded English speaking university is what you are after for them.

We made the choice to stay as expats so the family unit could be together and DC at an International school offering A levels. Being brutally honest, State Schools are so varied in the UK - you could get any outcome from better than International schools to very poor educational levels and behaviour.
Just our experience, but it’s been fine getting into great (high level) Unis and there are varied pathways to achieve local fees (dependent on the individual Unis and your own circumstances). Take a good look at the actual schools you would be considering in the UK and how over/under subscribed they are likely to be.
Good luck with whichever pathway you choose.

Thanks so much for the all advice on universities in other countries! We'll definitely look into that as an option, but my first choice would still be for the kids to spend a good amount of time in the UK to connect with their British heritage and culture.

I know that whenever I bring up "British culture", there’s always some controversies "what’s good about it"?.
Well, it’s the country of The Beatles, Shakespeare, self-deprecating humor, afternoon tea, Mr. Bean, ceilidh dances, countryside walks, and multicultural celebrations. I was there for the Olympics, went to the Godiva Festival in Coventry, the Edinburgh Festival, the Balloon Fiesta in Bristol, St. Patrick’s Day in Birmingham, Burns Night. I've been to concerts of talented British artists… and so many other events.

I get that the economy is struggling and there are plenty of social issues, but I still believe Brits should be proud of their rich culture, history, and heritage. I also get that they can learn those through books and TV but I hope when the time is right, our kids will get to be part of it and be proud of their heritage too.

I agree op, and it’s usually the uncultured that do not appreciate what a gift it is. I lived an expat life for many years and it can be culturally barren unless you are living in a very old or particularly artistic civilisation and even then it’s not relevant to your child’s personal history and family history.

We came back from the Middle East as our kids were going into year 10 and year 12.
The school my kids went to a a top scoring school in our area but we all wish we had stayed in the Middle East. The life style was easier, kids happier in school and to be honest more choice in subjects. My youngest her child has sat a lot of GCSE’s away from school and studied by herself to make sure she could get the education she wanted.
If you are happy with the education in Asia - stay there.
The only benefit would be of your kids want to go to Uni in Uk. After two and a half years back we still pay international fees at university.

Was it easier for your Year 12 child than your Year 10 child?
Another option I'm considering is moving back to the UK at the beginning of their Year 9 and Year 12. Do you think it would be easier for them to settle than if we moved in Year 7 and Year 10?

I'm still on the fence and might just scrap the whole moving idea altogether. But I'd like to further explore the option of living in the UK before making the decision. I’d also prefer to stay together as a family unit, so it would be nice if we were in the same country when the eldest starts university to give some support.

I'd say that would be preferable. Year 9, while not a natural joining point in theist majority of state schools, gives them a year to find their feet before starting the GCSE syllabus in earnest, and loads of DC change schools at the start of Year 12 (round here you have a lot switching between the grammars and the other big school sixth form in both directions, as well as in and out of the state / private sectors).

This sounds a really good plan TBH. Older can do A-level or IB here (have a look at the Bishops Stortford area which has a range of great state schools, housing isn't silly money, and it's very commutable to London.)

Re the teens, not all teens are into drugs, knife crime etc. It may be area dependent or even school dependent, but mine were extremely sports focussed and still are now they're at uni (plus reading, music, games, concerts etc - everything a well rounded adult would do). Yes they drink, but not particularly to excess and the elder ones like to cook and eat healthily. Their friends are similar. The image of UK teens as all into drugs and crime is still alien to me, as someone with 3 UK teens/young adults!

Then why do you want them to be immersed in the culture ?

We have also discovered that overseas ADHD diagnoses are unlikely to be recognised in the UK and you may need to start the diagnosis process again.

This was a quote from a PP, but in the UK a private UK diagnosis can be recognised and confirmed by the NHS - ours was - as long as it was carried out using the same methodology used by the NHS. NHS waiting lists for diagnosis can run into years in some areas. I'm guessing a private diagnosis might cost you over £1k now (our ASD diagnosis was £750, seven years ago). We are waiting on an initial appointment for a private ADHD diagnosis which is £500.

I'm a bit late to this thead, but although living in the UK certainly has it's challenges, I'm not remotely as down on it as many on this thread. The responses you are getting may be rather area dependent. All my DC were at good state schools, they have a wide variety of interests and definitely enjoy the types of cultural experiences you talk of, OP. Their life and ours is definitely not the doom and gloom I so often see on here. We live on a very average wage near a midlands town, semi rural but can travel to London easily if we want to. DCs are at Uni in a larger city. The UK might be a small country, but experiences can vary widely.

@IamnotSethRogan
When I said 'dull', I was referring more to the economic struggles that led to a general lack of energy and excitement. As for the culture, it was more than the daily challenges, but I was referring to what is deeply rooted in history and traditions, the values, practices, shared identity, etc. built over decades and centuries.

My advice would be to hedge your bets and apply to Unis in UK & abroad.
Live where you really want to in the meantime.
You may qualify for local status anyway, the criteria is different by individual Uni/Course.