Move back to UK for kids' education despite having better quality of life where we are?

[littlewillow123]

Our children are now 12 and 9 years old, and we’re considering moving back to the UK when they reach Year 10 & Year 7. We currently live in SE Asia, where we enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, financial security, and strong family connections. However, we’re thinking about relocating so they can study in the UK from GCSEs through A-levels, potentially giving them better career opportunities and deeper cultural immersion.

💡 Key Factors We're Weighing:
✅ UK: Stronger education system, home fee eligibility for university after three years of residency, greater independence for kids, and exposure to a global environment. However, it comes with high living costs and financial sacrifices.

✅ Where we are: Comfortable lifestyle, financial stability, excellent expat community, strong family support, and flexibility. However, the kids may not fully experience UK culture until later.

📌 Additional Considerations:

• Visa is not an issue as we hold dual citizenship.
• We have family in both countries so children will be living near either sides of the family. Although at the moment they are missing out on time with my husband's side of family.
• We can’t afford private schools in the UK, so they would attend state schools.
• My husband (British) grew up in the UK, went to a top grammar school and university, but he is hesitant. From his experience, teenagers in the UK are more rebellious and exposed to alcohol and drugs at an earlier age, while kids in Asia tend not to have similar issue. One of our child has ADHD so this might be something worth considering.
• With the same income, we’ve been able to save significantly more in Vietnam than we could in the UK and still have better quality of life.

🔎 Our Dilemma:
❓ Would moving to the UK at this stage make a big difference for the kids' future? (We prefer to stay but if it's for the children's benefits, we can live in UK for a few years until they both go to uni)

❓ Or is it better to stay where we are and provide global exposure in other ways (e.g., travel, exchange programs, summer schools)?

If you’ve made a similar decision, we’d love to hear your experience! What did you choose, and how did it turn out? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 🤔✨

While on one hand, yes their British identity is something they can explore when they are adults.

But let’s not ignore the obvious: growing up in Britain is very different to solely living there as an adult.

Any expat kid can tell you this. So there are real pros and cons to this situation. Just depends how much you value heritage over more practical concerns

We moved back to the UK from the middle east when my daughter was 14 and my son 11, it was a big mistake. We couldn't get them into our chosen schools and they ended up going to different schools from each other. My daughter especially suffered, going from a class of 10 to class of 30 plus pupils. The school abroad was very strict and children were well behaved, England was exact opposite. My daughter hated it and did not fit in at all and resented us for taking her away from her friends and a school she loved! We had numerous problems with her suffering from depression. Please think very carefully before making the decision to come back. Talk to them and see what they think.

I needed to move my Childs state school in uk due to bullying. In new school he was ‘attacked’ by all the boys on his new class to test him out. He held his ground (he is strong) with no problems since. But that happened in a very good state school.

You cannot pick and choose the best state schools. Many are oversubscribed and it would be a case of you go to the school either space. That’s more likely to be the schools that folk are moving their kids out of. Even within the uk children can have problems feeling comfortable at secondary school. Bullying, vaping, drugs and knife crime are issues to be aware of. It takes years from sen referral to get seen for assessment as the sen services are also oversubscribed. So if your child is arriving in year 9 they may have almost completed their education before support is in place. Add in the cultural shock and it could turn into a very difficult situation for your children and mean they do not perform to their best.

Chat gtp is great at looking at facts. Also consider the human aspects….their emotional needs and mental health and resilience. Critical for a big change like this to be successful vs a big mistake. Are they happy and doing well now? If so don’t fix what isn’t broken. think I would consider what circumstances/ context will your children be able to perform at their best - where they are now or uk? How would they cope with the huge change? What do they want to do? If it will be traumatic/ unsettling for them may be best to stay where they are now. Get the cultural experience in other ways. They could always do additional qualifications (eg masters degree or CpD) later in UK and get cultural experience in other ways. I hope this helps ! Best of luck with the big decision

Your life sounds lovely. Speaking from the UK on a freezing cold February evening.
You can immerse your children in British culture by watching some TV shows? Along with the holidays.
Not sure if university in the UK is necessarily the be all and end all either.
I read a lot of books as a kid about children in India being sent home to the UK for school and I always felt so sorry for them, leaving a life of light and warmth and colour for the dreary UK.

Hell no - education in this country is a mess and it’s only going to get worse.

Imo you have left it too late for your eldest to start secondary school imo. Many start gcse prep very early these days as soon as 2nd year of high school

If you were hoping to send to UK state schools then the most popular (best ) ones are full for year 7 entry and spaces don’t come up very often. My kids went to popular comprehensive schools. Their application was submitted early year 6. During their 6 years of secondary school (240 per year), there were not many new people - many didn’t get on the waiting list despite waiting since year 7. You could end up with 2 different schools and the quality not being great because the council has to provide a school rather than a school that you want. If you can afford private then they accept people at different ages but I’m guessing that this is not possible if international fees are out of the question.

Have you seen the cost of UK universities ? If your kids take loans they will be in tens of thousands in debt. I would research universities in other countries with English courses and more reasonable fees as a plan. I’ve seen Germany and the Netherlands mentioned as having very reasonably priced with courses in English but they may have some in SE Asia too.

If you do this plan, you should move before youngest starts year 6 so that her year 7 application is treated the same as everyone else.

The oldest one is too late so you will be reliant on luck.

Stay where you are. If you can save up so your children can do their final two years or so at an international school. British culture???

Don't do it. I did and my older child (moved in year 9) had the most horrific time settling in.

Similar circumstances to yours.

We all agree it was a significant downgrade in lifestyle.

I shouldn't bother coming back to the UK if you have a better quality of life there. My brother lives in Chang mai with his wife and 15 year old daughter, she is at international school studying international baccalaureate. Unfortunately the UK seems only to be heading in one direction. Se Asia would be my choice. Your kids couod always come here for uni if they wanted to that and a qualification like international baccalaureate is universally recognised. Whichever choice u make good luck!

Where do you live?

Totally agree with this post.

We are in the same position. Eldest is currently in year 7 and youngest in year 4. They are in a good international school but I want them to reconnect with the UK properly and feel at home there. I think we will go back next year for year 9 with university home fees being the biggest draw as you note.

We have also discovered that overseas ADHD diagnoses are unlikely to be recognised in the UK and you may need to start the diagnosis process again.

We are worried about schools having space but hopefully we will find a good one that can accommodate both children.

Big decisions - good luck!

We came back to the UK for similar reasons from an EU country, but did it the year before the exam years for DC to be able to chose their subjects. We came to Scotland. The kids much prefer it here culturally, have settled well and both doing extremely well in local state school. I was terrified I was moving them out of private school and was going to ruin their lives, but no.

I lived overseas for 20 years and came back in 2013, for my son’s sake. Huge mistake, we had brexit and it’s all gone downhill. I hate it here, so depressing, prospects are grim. Stay where you are, it will be better.

Why are thousands of academically able and gifted children spending hundreds of thousands on a U.K. education do you think if Chamg Mai is so good?

Why do you believe that education is better in the UK than where you are?

Maybe they used chatGPT to help gather their thoughts. What of it?

Sorry I genuinely don't understand your comment and I don't think you read mine properly.

Often for bragging rights and Harry Potteresq insta opportunities. And because to their families it’s peanuts. And that poster’s niece is in international school not the local school so it’s not even a valid comparison

The universities in the U.K. are excellent and it is very competitive, leading to professional opportunities on a global scale. Why would you choose a parochial education in a country where your child’s opportunities will be so limited for their entire life time willingly?

Some countries have a very good education system. Switzerland, Australia and the US. Others are so far behind, and you are handicapping your own children for life. Of course op is right to evaluate. It’s worse still in some parts where human rights are non existent and the sex of your child also adds to their limitations.

There are other options for education that is closer, Singapore has a very good system and so does Australia and New Zealand. Not sure what the cost comparison would be with Britain though but the weather is a damn site better. Queensland would have similar climate to where you now live and good education avenues.

Singapore is a cultural desert and such a boring place to live. Australia is much too hot. The people of NZ are leaving in droves due to unemployment. Not everything is as simple as you make it sound. I have lived extensively overseas. We are professional people and I think it’s unfair to saddle a child with an inadequate education too.

In your situation - I would stay.